How many of you have gone through one? How was it? Were you expecting it or you realised that it happened after it had happened? How did you feel on the start of it. On the top of the world? What age did it happen at? 45/50?? How did you handle it? I have heard that some people manage to handle it nicely hence do not suffer immensly. But some are completely drowned. Is there necessarily a woman involved and without one a “Mid Life Crisis” is not complete? Do women experience one too?
Please share your experiences candidly. Thank you.
how do u know if something is a mid-life crisis if u dont know when ur life will end? TNW can u really call a midlife crisis at ur age a mid life crisis? What if it's ur end-life crisis or quarter-life crisis? :p
Actually I was thinking about this myself a couple of days ago… and couldn’t come to terms with the fact that what we terma as the midlife crisis has anything to do with “age”. Can’t it be possible for someone who has been reasonably successful in his/her life to go through it at an age earlier then his/her late 30s’ and early 40s’.
I mean if it has to do with being in an emotional state of anxiety that your life is halfway done, and you have feelings that you haven’t accomplished enough… hell I think I go through that every freakin day.
If it involves boredom with life and job, I feel that too sometimes I suppose (yeah… boredom with partners is a different story altogether, so if anything, that’d be the one criterion that nullifies that I go through it everyday).
In any case, for all those pysch majors here, how is this different than what is also commonly described as the stage of self-actualization?
self actualisation is at the top of maslows hiarchey (sp?) of needs...i think i realised a very long time ago..(when i was 16) that self fulfilment and completeness of ones life including every aspect is highly unlikely and will almost never be achived in my lifetime :)
Im a pessimist, so the way i see it, when one need is met i.e the need for love, another need is being taken away e.g. need for money.
You cant have everything. money doesnt make u happy if ur not loved, and being in love and not having enough money for shoes will also not make one happy. theres no such thing as completness unless its from within and one does not care much for anything.
there...so simple yet so complicated. This is just my outlook on it all...as for psychology, il have to read one of my books again...i cant possible keep psychological information in my brian if i have to make room for more
Maslow's hierarchy of Needs: Physiological, Safety, Belonging and Love, Esteem, Self-Actualization
He defined (then later, redefined) self actualization, it being the state where human nature is closest to being satisfied and reconciled with itself and the pull of indulging the former four needs are purged from being the goal of existence. Essentially, its a good psychological, physiological, spiritual and mental orgasm. Nature, code, conduct and desire become one.
A midlife crisis, meanwhile, is essentially having coldwater thrown on you right after the foreplay of youth :P perhaps because of the overwhelming urge to recollect, recount and reassess your life in the context of Maslows hierarchy...
Personally, I think self actualization has nothing over a good mocha.
well... I asked about self-actualization because just about a year or so ago, I was very very satisfied with what I was doing with my life... I had been satisfied even before, but more so now and I believed that more or less believed I was approaching that state in a couple of years time.
However putting this in the pespective of a midlife crisis, should there be a trickle down from the self actualization state down again to one of the previous stages?? - if not all the way down, then to Belonging & Love for sure, since that's a salient characteristic of a midlife crisis that you reevaluate and seek different avenues of socialization.
hmmmm... I think we're coming up with our own theory here...
"Redefining Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs: Deliberating the Midlife Crisis" :)
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However putting this in the pespective of a midlife crisis, should there be a trickle down from the self actualization state down again to one of the previous stages??
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I would have to agree with you here. Self Actualization should then precede midlife crisis, so how can it be placed on top of the hierarchy. Unless after a midlife crisis, you reach self actualization again :D
Oh my God, I dont understand psychology. I am business minded, you see
Shahreen - Why do you think so What’s your age?
Sara, Ira - For a person of normal age (60+), it’s “supposed” to be sometime around 45 or above. That’s what they teach you in MBA.
Umar Talib - Recalling what I read about it in “planetary” terms, I can agree that it does not have to do it with “age” as Uranus turns up at a specific position in everyone’s chart every 30+ years (I dont remember the total number of years exactly). And when it is on that position is when it happens. It may happen three times in a person’s life time depending on his/her age. I asked whether it happens with women too cz until now I have only seen men going through it or maybe I have only “noticed” it happening with men cz of the dramatic changes in their career (keeping in mind my lessons from MBA). Definitely it is for several psychological reasons but Im more interested in the practical side of it… like how it has occurred with people here. What I have seen is that men get “out of control” like… they do all kinds of wrong things, make wrong decisions in career as well as in their personal lives. I have seen them getting involved with a woman other than their spouse. I was just interested to know if that is an essential part of Mid life crisis or some men face different circumstances?
MM, savant, Rb - Sorry there is little I understand of psychology
oooooooooooh… so much to ask.. so little time. I fin now. I gtg. Catch you from home.. oh no i have early morning duty tomorrow so… later…
TNW - because I am totally bored with my job.....not the actual workplace, but the whole career path. But don't want to start out again and neither do I know what I would rather do. I don't know if its classed as a mid life crisis as I'm 26.
Khair TNW, abey MBA kiya hai tow OB me nahi parha Maslow I had a long argument with my HR teacher on it.
Khair, I figure there’s a level beyond the actualization… and some philosophers have termed it as self-transcendence which may be the place where the individual reevaluates his/her current status and works beyond it to find new meanings.
I'm goin thru a crisis, and i'm not even 20...uncertainty of the future...knowing what i want, but sometimes not knowing so not knowing how i'm gonna get it... :(
MM - Thank you but I have such a short attention span… you cannot imagine. Oh but I would definitely make all efforts to read the link
Shahreen - Im not surprised… I went through exactly the same thing at 24 and am still going through. wonder how many years it takes to recover from it.
Umaray - Is “Maslow” some kind of russian byriani? Im so sorry but nobody can even imagine how hungry i am right now Hey im actually wondering how i still remember this MLC bullsh!t. oh yeahhhh… i remember “Sigmund Freud” also… his crazy theories
People please....free yourselves from this midlife crisis crap. Self actualization, methinx, is actually when u dont have to worry abt stuff like mid life crises.
Shahreen, direction, fulfilment and good food will all come to you soon enough.
The pursuit of happiness, in any way, is a self defeating exercise.
Think. Resolve. Act. Fulfilment will follow and Happiness is just an alternative word for fulfilment, isnt it.
Oil is up again.....spiked to over $58/bl! I think I will kill myself. I resolve to do it by eating my own cooking.
What’s your age?
I had a long argument with my HR teacher on it.
saray sheikh bhaithay hein yahan. all perfectly intelligent and without errors