ok, so lets turn this around a bit.
if you were 20, and u had an older bhabhi... would u be jealous? seriously, why would u be jealous? pls explain the thought process of a 20 yr old who is studying, having her daily mood swings... and yes, getting jealous of her brother's to be wife
How are age and jealousy related? Asking the questions "would you be jealous?" ...what does that prove? People are individuals....even in regards to how they handle their emotions. Just because one person might not jealous of an older bhabi does not mean that another person will also not be jealous. People don't have to isolate their feelings, Sadzzz. It's possible for a person to deal with studying, mood swings, AND also be jealous. I've taught teenagers........girls younger than 20....who can study.....display mood swings toward others......and behave catty out of jealousy. And ya know what? I HAVE seen girls get jealous of their bhabis. It's kind of like a MIL getting jealous of the idea of her son giving more attention to his wife than to her. People can be jealous of a variety of things such as beauty, intelligence, material things, accomplishments.....and even attention. It can stem from insecurity.
It's possible that the girl is shy. But the poster has mentioned that she behaves rudely....snapping "shut up" to her own sister, etc. Maybe she struggles with socializing. ** But the "jealous" guess is not impossible either. And we ALL have jealousy in us that rears its ugly head at one point or another. It's a human emotion. It's not some taboo topic that shouldn't be talked about. In order to discuss positive ways to deal with the possibility of jealousy....one has to bring up the word : jealousy. Nobody is saying that this girl is a bad person. And people have their theories about why she's acting a certain way AND they're also giving suggestions for how to deal with it. ** maybe she just doesnt feel like talking. Just maybe she cant be bothered with all the niceness. Jealousy is a huge curse... it comes in par with hatred.
It can come with hatred. It might not. It could simply be resentment for not having what someone else has. One can envy even their loved ones for the smallest of things. I envy my sister's beautiful hair.......I don't hate her.
we dont know anything bout the SIL. We dont even know what she has said or done. So please, be a littlewister in helping the thread opener out. There might be other issues at hand. If she ends up believing its jealousy, it could cause other issues.
I've said that she could be jealous. I've even said that she could be shy. I've even said that she could struggle with socializing. I've also given suggestions about how to deal with the situation. My suggestions did not include dramatic or mean or vengeful tactics. The word "jealousy" is not bad. It's not taboo. It's a human emotion. And if it can't be talked about openly as a possibility....then it can't be dealt with properly. Being jealous doesn't make one bad. If u see that someone is jealous of you....you might even try to find ways to connect with them and make them feel more secure. I don't think that sticking to nice sounding probabilities equates with being wise. It's wise to be brave enough to consider even those possibilities that may not seem as "pleasant." This is not about invalidating theories. People have different ideas based on their observations and experiences.