Why is it seen as such a taboo?
I have been working in the psychiatry department for 10 days there is a young pakistani man seriously in need of help and monitoring from the mental health services because he is at risk to himself and others.
However, his family are refusing to bring him in and engage with the services and its so frustrating!
I have seen this pattern with other pakistani/indian patients.
Why oh why dont the families understand!
I look forward to the varied views 
Re: Mental Health in Our Culture
Hmm - not sure really. Because they are have very boxed up opinions and don't understand or want to understand that their child needs help, they think they can offer better, its their laad and its up to them what they do with it. Something on the lines of: Its shameful to depend on the state, what will people say OMG LOOK THE CURTAINS ARE TWITCHING ALREADY...
twitch
Re: Mental Health in Our Culture
I wonder if with the Indian families...having a family member who has mental health issues is considered unlucky...and therefore the family of the individual and even being around that person is considered inauspicious? So, superstition could play a role. I've seen Pakistanis be superstitious as well...but it seems more common among Indian society.
Many issues in our culture are connected to....drumroll.....MARRIAGE. The whole "Un ki family ka aik fard pagal hai...what if it runs in their genes? We don't want our son/daugther marrying there." Or if there are unmarried girls in the family...the parents may hide the problem so that it doesn't hinder rishtas. That fear of laug kya kahain ge.
And then I've also seen how it can be a pride/ego issue. And not only with mental health problems....but even with things on a minor scale such as learning disabilities. The whole idea that "How can I produce offspring that is flawed" notion is unacceptable/unbelievable. I've seen a couple of parents who either don't want to know what problem their child has.....or they will hide it for quite some time because labeling the problem makes it more REAL for them and that can be scary to deal with. And they want to protect their kids from the social stigma that a medical lable might bring....especially in our society.
And some people might think that the psychological problem is due to being possessed by a jinn. And while it may be a possibility.....sadly the people who abandon their families don't seem to understand that Islam encourages seeking a cure for the sick.....not leaving them behind.
Could also be as simple as it being emotionally painful for family to see a loved one struggling.
Re: Mental Health in Our Culture
10 days of experience, sample size of 1 and generalization of an entire culture. Great.
Re: Mental Health in Our Culture
10 days of experience, sample size of 1 and generalization of an entire culture. Great.
What is your problem? Why do you internalize on such a deep level every comment that is less than positive about desi culture? It doesn't necessarily mean that the one making the comment doesn't love their culture/country. I don't agree with the whole idea of only recognizing and mentioning the positive and turning a blind eye to issues. Forget culture for a sec. Take a look at something such as the spread of Islam.....there were many harmful and silly superstitous beliefs and practices in soceity that were challenged...that HAD to be challenged in order for the truth to be spread. It's not such a bad thing, you know.
When I read this post of yours, it reminds me of an anaology that my mom used to give about pigeons and how when they are confronted with something they don't like....they shut their eyes thinking it would disappear.
Re: Mental Health in Our Culture
10 days of experience, sample size of 1 and generalization of an entire culture. Great.
For you, Study in this field: 0 hours
Experience: 0 days
Sample Size: 0
Time needed to start criticizing: 0 seconds
Anyone but a fool would know that Inspirion isn't basing the whole discussion on just one topic. Everyone who has grown up in desi society knows that there is a social stigma attached to it.
Re: Mental Health in Our Culture
^ No need to get personal here. I have psychological issues and my parents didn't let me see a shrink. Booooo.
Re: Mental Health in Our Culture
^ No need to get personal here. I have psychological issues and my parents didn't let me see a shrink. Booooo.
I'm getting petting personal? I just pointed out your own lack of experience. Do you or do you not agree that there is a stigma attached with mental illness in Pakistan and India?
Re: Mental Health in Our Culture
I am currently on my psychiatric attatchment, and I completely agree with you Inspiron. What I have realised though, is that before beginning the attatchment I am sure I had many negative thoughts towards mental health myself, and it is only after having spent time with the patients & watching them get better with the right treatment, have I really begun to appreciate it as a medical conditon. Resultantly, if people haven't been exposed to it, they are going to struggle with it.
Saying that, the pakistani/indian patients I have seen have made my heart ache terribly. They do seem to fall into one of two categories. Either their famililes don't require treatment and let them get dangerously unwell or secondly they just dump them. I recently clerked a lady whose husband divorced when she first was diagnosed & she hasn't seen her children for 20 years. I am convinced having her family around would have majorly helped he adhere to treatment and resultantly prevent her acute exasberations of her condition.
Re: Mental Health in Our Culture
i thought this was a thread on life1's culture..
Re: Mental Health in Our Culture
When I read this post of yours, it reminds me of an anaology that my mom used to give about pigeons and how when they are confronted with something they don't like....they shut their eyes thinking it would disappear.
Too much of this attitude on the forum.. Lucky Inspiron isn't new to the forum or she'd be getting called a troll + having holes picked in her posts by the usual suspects..
Imo the main problems are due to pride, fear, social stigma.. Also some may be scared that the advice or help family members might be given could go against their cultural or religious norms..
Re: Mental Health in Our Culture
I'm getting petting personal? I just pointed out your own lack of experience. Do you or do you not agree that there is a stigma attached with mental illness in Pakistan and India?
It's not only for mental ilness...it's also with things on a smaller scale such as learning disabilities. I used to teach in public school and the parents in general seemed more proactive about seeking academic accomodations for the children with learning disabilities. They openly admitted to teachers and others that their child had ADD/ADHD, Aspergers, whatever. Now I teach at a school where the student population is predominantly Asian. And I've seen parents who don't want to know what their child has...not interested in testing.....are afraid of the stigma of a label...prefer to make excuses/cover things up. I see a contrast between the two environments/groups. I have seen desi exceptions to the generalization.....but I haven't come across many.
Re: Mental Health in Our Culture
one of my cousin from UK married a typical Pakistani guy and moved to Canada, started living with inlaws, went into depression instead of helping her she was forced to move to the lower basement of the house, and went mad, she was a practising barrister in UK not a nut case then, and the guy kept her in literally a cage even denied her having kids, and then finally due to his own family pressure dumped her back in UK and sent her divorce after keeping her like that for 6 years. The inlaws didn't have guts to take her to a doc to get her checked out until she finally somehow called me one day to get her out of there. They told me they are so ashamed of her only 'baho' that they can't let her out. I was shocked..Her own family was also responsible for that abuse, she went into such deep depression that she lost it completely and nobody wanted to deal with it.
After couple of years of moving back to UK she started working again, met a very nice turkish guy married and have two kids, and very happy and SANE
Desi mentality is very ugly(sorry for very harsh words) when it comes to psychological issues.
Re: Mental Health in Our Culture
one of my cousin from UK married a typical Pakistani guy and moved to Canada, started living with inlaws, went into depression instead of helping her she was forced to move to the lower basement of the house, and went mad, she was a practising barrister in UK not a nut case then, and the guy kept her in literally a cage even denied her having kids, and then finally due to his own family pressure dumped her back in UK and sent her divorce after keeping her like that for 6 years. The inlaws didn't have guts to take her to a doc to get her checked out until she finally called me one day to get her out of there. They told me they are so ashamed of her only 'baho' that they can't let her out. I was shocked..Her own family was also responsible for that abuse, she went into such deep depression that she lost it completely and nobody wanted to deal with it.
After couple of years of moving back to UK she started working again, met a very nice turkish guy married and have two kids, and very happy and SANE
Desi mentality is very ugly(sorry for very harsh words) when it comes to psychological issues.
One quick question: If she was a barrister in UK, why did she marry a crackpot? Don't tell me she didn't know. Anyone can tell if their in-laws are sane or uber conservative.
Re: Mental Health in Our Culture
It's not only for mental ilness...it's also with things on a smaller scale such as learning disabilities. I used to teach in public school and the parents in general seemed more proactive about seeking academic accomodations for the children with learning disabilities. They openly admitted to teachers and others that their child had ADD/ADHD, Aspergers, whatever. Now I teach at a school where the student population is predominantly Asian. And I've seen parents who don't want to know what their child has...not interested in testing.....are afraid of the stigma of a label...prefer to make excuses/cover things up. I see a contrast between the two environments/groups. I haven't seen desi exceptions.....but I haven't come across many.
^^ very true...
Re: Mental Health in Our Culture
It's not only for mental ilness...it's also with things on a smaller scale such as learning disabilities. I used to teach in public school and the parents in general seemed more proactive about seeking academic accomodations for the children with learning disabilities. They openly admitted to teachers and others that their child had ADD/ADHD, Aspergers, whatever. Now I teach at a school where the student population is predominantly Asian. And I've seen parents who don't want to know what their child has...not interested in testing.....are afraid of the stigma of a label...prefer to make excuses/cover things up. I see a contrast between the two environments/groups. I haven't seen desi exceptions.....but I haven't come across many.
God, there are more stigmas in Pakistan than there are GS members. :(
Re: Mental Health in Our Culture
One quick question: If she was a barrister in UK, why did she marry a crackpot? Don't tell me she didn't know. Anyone can tell if their in-laws are sane or uber conservative.
Everything in life is not a perfect square, desi kill their kids with all sort of pressures, her older sister married a gora so she married they guy just to make her own mother happy...and don't tell me you don't know the desi tactics, 'the mother being a widow' or one of parent 'at the last stages of his/her life' too bad she scummed to one of such lame excuses.
Re: Mental Health in Our Culture
Everything in life is not a perfect square, desi kill their kids with all sort of pressures, her older sister married a gora so she married they guy just to make her own mother happy...and don't tell me you don't know the desi tactics, 'the mother being a widow' or one of parent 'at the last stages of his/her life' too bad she scummed to one of such lame excuses.
The same old. I bet her mother's pretty happy now. Sometimes, I really wish I could do something to stamp out this arranged marriage culture. Maybe I'll start with my own kids....
Re: Mental Health in Our Culture
may Allah give little bit wisdom to us (desies).
where were they all when Allah(swt) distributing piece of wisdom?
Re: Mental Health in Our Culture
Somewhere in the universe…Kakaballi is fuming, gritting his teeth, smoke is coming out of his ears. 