I’ve been to a few Pakistani mendhis where the bride’s face has to be completely covered with a yellow/red (or any colour) dupatta and she can’t see anything while everyone is singing and dancing. I have been told that this is the proper, traditional way and this is how it is done in Pakistan/India. Then again, I’ve been to a few mendhis where the bride simply had her hair covered with a dupatta, not the face, but apparently, this was deemed “wrong”.
So, what is the proper custom for the dulhan on her mendhi day?
I've seen brides dance at their own mehndis..I don't there's a "right" or a "wrong" way for the bride to be at her own mehndi..I guess itz all about how much you follow culture...
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*Originally posted by Hinna: *
I've seen brides dance at their own mehndis..I don't there's a "right" or a "wrong" way for the bride to be at her own mehndi..I guess itz all about how much you follow culture...
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Yeah, Hinna is right. If you plan on following the cultural pattern strictly, I guess U have to sit with a long palloo covering your face and just be satisfied with "hearing" the proceedings( which isn't fair at all ).
But if you are all for going against the "cultural and traditional norms" then, u can have a blast at your own Mehndi.( which is the right way in my view ).
Most of the mehdi parties that I've gone to have been women only therefore, the bride is not at all veiled. Jeez Wheez, its suppossed to be a happy occasion, which to me means, having fun and dancing so I for one would be out there with my friends dancing away!
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*Originally posted by Muni: *
Is that for real?!
Most of the mehdi parties that I've gone to have been women only therefore, the bride is not at all veiled. Jeez Wheez, its suppossed to be a happy occasion, which to me means, having fun and dancing so I for one would be out there with my friends dancing away!
screw stupid traditions. :D
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i agree muni .. it looks silly if the bride is all veiled and all.
In our family the proper custom for the bride is to dress in yellow, with a dupatta loosely covering her hair (because our family combine the mayou and mehindi together people apply oil to the brides hair along with applying mehindi to her hands), the brides wear simple makeup, and interact with the guests at a moderate level.
Cheegum, have you ever watched that t.v. show ‘Dream Saturday’ on PTV, Saturday afternoons? Well, in that show, people send in their personal home videos of their weddings/engagements, etc. A lot of the tapes being shown of weddings in Pakistan involve the bride getting up with the groom and dancing … from the engagement party, to the mendhi to the actual wedding. Times are changing. While desis in North America try and hold on to tradition, the folks in Pakistan are moving way ahead.
That’s why I ask what is the traditional custom for the mendhi? Cause if I take examples from Pakistan, it’s the complete opposite of what I see brides doing here.
Well, thats all new to me. Not very surprising though. But still wouldnt you think it'd be jumping to conclusions, judging the whole country based on a few tapes? There is a huge variety of culture and traditional values ranging from extremely conservative to semi to moderate to extreme liberal.
Having lived there a better part of my life, and having had the chance to view both sides of the coin, i'd say the liberal face of pakistan that we see on TV and other media resides only in metropolis areas such as karachi, islamabad, lahore etc. Which make up about 3-4% population of Pakistan.
So if you want to take example of Pakistan, i'd be unfair to make your decisions based on whatever you see on TV. :)
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*Originally posted by cHEeGUm: *
Well, thats all new to me. Not very surprising though. But still wouldnt you think it'd be jumping to conclusions, judging the whole country based on a few tapes? There is a huge variety of culture and traditional values ranging from extremely conservative to semi to moderate to extreme liberal.
Having lived there a better part of my life, and having had the chance to view both sides of the coin, i'd say the liberal face of pakistan that we see on TV and other media resides only in metropolis areas such as karachi, islamabad, lahore etc. Which make up about 3-4% population of Pakistan.
So if you want to take example of Pakistan, i'd be unfair to make your decisions based on whatever you see on TV. :)
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No, I don't think what we see on PTV represents the whole country. I have cousins there who have also wed there .... and stuff like that didn't happen. I do believe that dhulan's dancing at their own mendhis and not covering their whole faces is becoming increasing practiced though from weddings I have seen here in North America/U.K. and a few in Pakistan.
I guess things should be done in accordance to satisfying the wishes of the bride, groom and their respective immediate families. :)
its totally up to the bride on who she wants to appear!! personally speaking, i want to be in ghoongat, and dont want people to see me!! they say that by doing this, you are saved from " burri nazar" and also, they say that if she is in ghoongat and without any makeup for the days leading up to the wedding, it brings out her beauty!! I still wanna be able to see people through my ghoongat though!!l
I saw some desi mehndies recently when the girls were dressed much more liberally, there was mixed dancing and the girl was dancing at her mehndi too...
and the mehndi was happenning not in amreeka or kanayduh but in pakiland...
I guess it all depends on your family and social circle...there isn't any 'tradition' consideration nemore...
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first : things are not changing fast, ppl are changing fast.
second : has anyone ever tried to find from where these new changes into traditions have come? families that were shown on tv practicing and prading new traditions, were they always in pakistan or they were just visiting and attending relative's weddings from some western country? bcoz i know a looooot of ppl have their relatives living in western countries and often at weddings they end up following them . reasons can be many but one thing is for sure, those who are sayin fudge traditions / screw stupid tradition, you can find such people everywhere. :~)
