Re: Men who are not against polygamy [merged]
in this day and age....please provide examples of people who have multiple wives and they treat them equally?.......i have seen many such marriages....but the wives are NOT treated equally at all...
Re: Men who are not against polygamy [merged]
U will be hard pressed to find any example of a man treating multiple wives equally, but there are plenty about them not treating their wives equally.
I know a guy whose father married their nokrani and then kicked out him and his mother.
Re: Men who are not against polygamy [merged]
in this day and age....please provide examples of people who have multiple wives and they treat them equally?.......i have seen many such marriages....but the wives are NOT treated equally at all...
Have you heard of Santosh Kumar, he was a Pakistani actor (muslim) and hubby of late actress Sabiha Khanam. He had two wives and both lived in the same house with him and they claimed to be like sisters to each other.
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hi..i m a guy and i truly believe that a man should get married once in his life. i really dont understand how somebody can get married twice or thrice.....Little Princess is 100% right. if u ask me the defination of sincere and honest man i would say "he ll get married once in his life" its a beautiful relationship.every body should get married but only once in life. share your thoughts with your wife...give her your full time...be happy with your kids and give happiness to them. on the other side if u r married twice a time my ? is how a man can give time to his wives & kids equaly. in my point of view guys life will be miserable....so think about it....
Re: Men who are not against polygamy [merged]
Have you heard of Santosh Kumar, he was a Pakistani actor (muslim) and hubby of late actress Sabiha Khanam. He had two wives and both lived in the same house with him and they claimed to be like sisters to each other.
i think someone has given you the wrong information. my husband is from lahore and he said santosh kumar and sabiha khanam and his other wife used to live near where my husbands house was and my husbands dad said that because they were neighbours they used to hear the quarelling and fighting between santosh's both wives and the screaming as well.....and one used to live upstairs and one was downstairs. This was a rumour that they were happy and were like sisters....in reality it wasnt like that. Santosh Kumar was so disturbed that he used to drink and smoke alot. If you know about Santosh Kumar then you should know that he used to live in Gulberg in P block and nobody can know him better than my husbands family because they were next door neighbours....
what a coincidence!
Re: Men who are not against polygamy [merged]
U will be hard pressed to find any example of a man treating multiple wives equally, but there are plenty about them not treating their wives equally.
I know a guy whose father married their nokrani and then kicked out him and his mother.
Oops.... maids do not always help .... do they?
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Also if you know Santosh Kumar then you must know about his brother Darpan too....he got married to a very famous film star....Shamim Ara.....only a few people know that Darpan had another wife too and Shamim didnt know about it...but when she found out she was about to divorce him.....is that the equality you are talking about? Both brothers lives were so miserable that both used to drink alot...
Re: Men who are not against polygamy [merged]
I just heard Sabiha’s interview once ..
so she was lying 
Re: Men who are not against polygamy [merged]
^You were relying on the word of a lady whose profession was acting? 
Re: Men who are not against polygamy [merged]
certainly she was lying…
Re: Men who are not against polygamy [merged]
Mai kee karaaN Apaa ji. Asi bohoot saaday aadmi ne. Har kisi kee baat ke aitbar ker laitay hain
damn sabiha 
Re: Men who are not against polygamy [merged]
what does a woman tell herself when her husband wants to marry another woman. i think those woman that are in a polygamous relationship are very emotionally strong.
not against polygamy at all or polyandry for that matter.
if the husband i had was loving,respectful,caring, i don't think i could handle seeing him sleeping with another woman or loving her. i would prefer a divorce
Re: Men who are not against polygamy [merged]
Perfect execution of what you should say :k:
Princess, I do not have time to answer your queries. Some of them are quite obvious or have already been explained..
I do not have any realistic inclinement to Polygamy.
My activeness on this thread is purely for recreational purposes. One of which, was to highlight an interesting perspective on the status of women in Islam. I belive an adequate on this amount has been stated.
Other posters need to refrain from personal comments.
Re: Men who are not against polygamy [merged]
One aspect that we haven't really discussed is how would you react if your father had multiple wives?
Personally, I don't think I would ever forgive my father if he does something like that. And please answer from your heart, not with reference to Islam :)
Re: Men who are not against polygamy [merged]
I have had enough izzat :)
Re: Men who are not against polygamy [merged]
One aspect that we haven't really discussed is how would you react if your father had multiple wives?
Personally, I don't think I would ever forgive my father if he does something like that. And please answer from your heart, not with reference to Islam :)
I know of one guy who has 2 wives and all his kids from his first wife are still very young....the oldest is about 13/14.....and his kids absolutely HATE his second wife.....ive seen it with my own eyes....they treat her so badly and dont give her any respect at all.....you can see the disgust on their face when they see her come into the room...
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^Often as they get older the kids grow to resent their dads as well, not just the 'other woman.' I know a few who have stopped speaking to their fathers completely now they are adults themselves.
People who are very pro-polygny like to pretend it's only jealousy from wife no.1 which is the potential problem, it's funny they never even seem to mention the possible effects on their children as well.
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OK- my fun time ends.
On serious note.
Looking at the large variety of female posters replies. It is clear to any women, polygamy is unacceptable and it makes sense why.
A man who has a loving and loyal wife, should not practically aim for polygamy. True love and sincerity is hard to find.
And the prophet also said ' your best treasure in this life is a good wife'.
My posts have deviated from the thread topic slightly to another one sided view, that is not the objective of this thread and could appear misleading.
I would like to make a serious and maturer post.
The Prophets example is indeed the ideal one to follow. And as particular posters have narrated, although he married 11 times not but one time he married for granting security to helpless/outcasted/widowed women.
The truth speaks, that in many cases he did not even propose, but was proposed to by these ladies indirectly and directly. So it is out indeed the question that Prophet (pbuh) married for sexual purposes.
Broadly speaking on polygamy;
recall the sunnath of the Prophet (pbuh) was also to observe monogamy for over 20 years of his first and foremost wife, who was also a divorcee/widow.
One should note the suunath of the prophet (pbuh) is conveyed through his actions aswell as his words.
A first wife should not have to be virgin. Infact through the Prophets example its is apparant it is a praiseworthy act to marry any lady with sincere intentions.
The intrepretation of hadith and kornic litarature has its methodology. One should be weary of extracting judgements on situations from mere acquaintance of the literature. Correct comprehesnion and understanding is not always straightforward, and requires more knowledge from the guide of a teacher or a source that explains a hadith or verse in respect.
Literal reading of hadith can be dangerous.
For the reason of absence of context, **1/3 of hadiths were burnt by the SAHABA. **This is a known fact.
The Prophets advice was dependant on individual cases, and was so different for diferent people. No one hadith or incident should be tooken as judgemental.
For example: For example in bukhari it is narrated that a sahabi asked the Prophet(pbuh) what are the best deeds, to which the prophet replied in order of importance: the shahada, doing jihad, performing haj.
In the same bukhari we also see another sahabi asking the prophet (pbuh) th same question to which he replied:
offering your 5 prayers on time, being dutiful to your parents.
The different advice above, was based on the relevancy to the individual. For example it may have been that the second person has been furfulling or have furfilled the first persons ideals and vice versa.
There is no contradiction situation.
Similarly, if the Prophet had commented on one occasion towards one sahabi or person of marryin a virgin, he may have commented to another sahabi or performed such an action himself that negates the firsts sole sided view.
An earlier poster, Muzna's post was perfect intuition to the earlier hadith quoted by TLK about the prophets curosity to a sahabi of not marrying a virgin. I agree this was more of the Prophets proud feeling and will to exemplify to others present of that sahabies good deed, as opposed to a sexual connotation.
Similarly, The Prophet said ' follow mine and my righteous calipha's sunnath, and you will not go astray'
To this, Accordingly, We see from the example of H.Abu Bakr. That he also followed the Prophets example and never married a women for sexual purposes. Infact If i remmeber correctly, the only occasion when he re-married was at a later point in his life, to the widow of a close sahabi who had been martred in a major war.
H.Umer was also intent to follow the gracious example of the Prophets sunnath further to the his death death, by sending a proposal to Aisha (rz).
Therefore it is most ideal to follow the Prophet (pbuh)- and his example is never of a narrow nature.
The Prophet married for helping needy women. He married virgins, widowes and divorcess. He married young and older women.
He advised to marry virgin women and widowed/divorced women.
The Prophet did have a sexually active life, however this did not stem from his desires, but purely reflected the other and natural aspect of marriage.
Regarding the practicality of Polygamous marriage. For any contemplating, I would say to recall that the Prophet too was not spared from its headaches!
It was also hard for him at times to satisfy all his wives, his wives were jealous, to the extent Allah sent down a koranic verse to indicate a 'trap' some of his wives had conjured to distract his attention from another wife.
Hz Aisha also had quarrels with him, (innocent ones), like modern wives do, and one could imagine the load of 11 wife for this man. The headches for the gentlman prophet became so extrem to an extent that he stayed away from them, sleeping in the masjid for 1 whole month. Of being given knowledge, H.Umer had assumed initially that he had divorced all of them and he also went and scolded Hafsa, the Prophets wife and his sister
So- the burden of extra wives is very real, as manifesting in this thread.
The difficult modern practicalities depicted by posters in this thread are realistic and serious for all parties concerned to the marriages.
I and i belive others posters have been lightheartly poking at the phenomenon, but on a serious note nobody is safe from it complications- especially when the Prophet was not.
And especially because of the emotional effects it would have on the first wife or kids, any man susceptible should discuss it with the first and think it through maturly.
This should especially imply, when one has a wife who has put her heart and life into being the best she can for him. A return of this gesture makes sense.
The Prophet also stated 'the best amongst you is he who is best for to his wife' and
'be be kind to your wife'
Where being 'best' and being 'kind' encompasses material, physical and emotional wellbeing.
Ff one still fails to catch the drift, he very easily would do reminding himself just once- how he would feel if his wife was to like another man .
You know it hurts...
This is my Serious and Honest take on this topic.
Re: Men who are not against polygamy [merged]
^well said Nutwer...although in earlier posts it seemed you were pro-polygamy? or was that my misunderstanding?
Re: Men who are not against polygamy [merged]
Eeew, I see no need why anyone would need to have 4 wives in modern times.