Men, let's say you find out one of your children isn't yours

[Ghost14]

Re: Men, let's say you find out one of your children isn't yours

What kind of question is that to ask over here? That's like asking "so how did you plan your sons Bar Mitzva" you're talking about something which would be impossibly rare in the Muslim community.

However before I answer your question, I want to state that I would normally never lay a hand on any woman in a violent manner.

However, if as you said such an outrageous situation occurred, under that situation I would confront her and beat of her, don't care about jail or the consequences. Only if I had 100% proof though, proof from a paternity test.

Your wife is so lucky. How can I be more like you brother?

tough call, and this is possible in muslim community especially if the couple is going through any sort of fertility procedures and there is a mixup, or as someone said, mixup with babies at the hospital. it does not have to be infidelity.

regardless of reasons, mixups, infidelity..whatever, and what the discussion, action is with the spouse...what you have to keep in mind is that there is a kid who has no clue, has no part in any of it, and thinks the world of you as a hero, a guardian, a champion, ..a father. taking that away would be cruel and unjust.

PS: how much of an ass would someone feel like if the paternity test comes back negative, he decides to beat the crap out of the wife and kick her to the curb, and then find out it was a mixup at the hospital.

This. I would definitely want want to stay a part of the kid's life, depending on how old he/she is. As far as dealing with my wife, I would give her the benefit of the doubt and ask her about it first, instead of going in guns blazing, a la EDAL.

Excellent point....when we were going through IVF, my husband had to be assured by our RE about this many times...he was very paranoid about his..umm...sample being misplaced or labled wrong.....

Sounds legit. Do not mock the man.

[khattichic]

Re: Men, let’s say you find out one of your children isn’t yours

^^^i’m lucky that one of our twins is an exact, ditto copy of my husband…we call him “mini me”…they even have the same mole on the exact same spot of the same foot!

agar “a la edal” jaisay koi jazbaati hota, tho i’d be on the sarak with a sign reading “will work for food”…

[heart_n_soul_1]

Re: Men, let's say you find out one of your children isn't yours

^ thats cute (the first bit, not the second obv! )

[Sara516]

Re: Men, let’s say you find out one of your children isn’t yours

LOL. once I commented to someone that his kids look like him, and he was like “good I know that they’re mine”

[Sara516]

Re: Men, let’s say you find out one of your children isn’t yours

but ya kno just in case..every man shoudl ask his wife for a paternity test…just to stay sure ya know.

[M_was_here]

Re: Men, let’s say you find out one of your children isn’t yours

@khattichic

^^^i’m lucky that one of our twins is an exact, ditto copy of my husband…we call him “mini me”…they even have the same mole on the exact same spot of the same foot!

agar “a la edal” jaisay koi jazbaati hota, tho i’d be on the sarak with a sign reading “will work for food”…

DITTO!

[Ghost14]

Re: Men, let’s say you find out one of your children isn’t yours

@Sara516

but ya kno just in case..every man shoudl ask his wife for a paternity test…just to stay sure ya know.

Yeah…that would go over well :halo:. In most cases it would come back positive and we man folk would look like idiots (more than usual). One does not simply give a woman ammo for future arguments.

[Krypton]

Re: Men, let's say you find out one of your children isn't yours

Ironically this is very common in villages and lower class of pakistan..are they westernized too? Its more about morals and ethics than western influence/religion/society

this.

[psyah]

Re: Men, let's say you find out one of your children isn't yours

Keep him/her anyway ... it'll belong to my missus after all.

But what sort of a husband would I be to suspect the child is not mine purely because it doesn't look like me, suspecting my wife ... it could not be the hospital mucking it up because I have been to all my children's births ... I have never missed a trick with the kids so what sort of a father would I be if I didn't take a good look at the baby as it came into the world enough that I would not recognise him/her again?

Perhaps by asking this question are we going to justify locking up the wife in the house whenever we go out? What is the purpose of such a question? Or is it aimed at working out who amongst the men are "free" about sex and love sharing - freak mishaps and so what? Life goes on?

The biggest consequences are not of this world but of the Hereafter ... don't fear the reaction of people but fear God ...

If I ever went to get a paternity test done my wife would instigate divorce procedures for doubting her ...

[majesty]

Re: Men, let’s say you find out one of your children isn’t yours

wise stereotype thinking.

@Ghost14

Yeah…that would go over well :halo:. In most cases it would come back positive and we man folk would look like idiots (more than usual). One does not simply give a woman ammo for future arguments.

[EDAL]

Re: Men, let's say you find out one of your children isn't yours

Just wanted to add that in terms of the beating thing, I was assuming that the OP was referring to a situation where your wife cheated on you and had another dudes kid. That is totally unacceptable, and I know if that ever happened I wouldn't be able to control my anger, I would go totally nuts and hurt someone, that is absolutely disgusting. Only in the imaginary world of the online Gupshup forum would that be acceptable, in reality we all know the situation would turn extremely grave, no Muslim male would accept that.

Obviously if you are referring to a case where the hospital made a mistake than that is a totally different situation. In that case it's just a tragedy. I'd still want to see my real kid, and contact the parents of the current kid, slowly I'm sure some sort of arrangement could be made, depending on how old the kid is.

[M_was_here]

Re: Men, let’s say you find out one of your children isn’t yours

It has nothing to do with being a muslim or not, NO male would accept their significant other having someone else’s kid. :halo:

[EDAL]

Re: Men, let’s say you find out one of your children isn’t yours

@M_was_here

It has nothing to do with being a muslim or not, NO male would accept their significant other having someone else’s kid. :halo:

That’s true, but Muslims tend to be more conservative and would take it more negatively than your average Western liberal male.

[M_was_here]

Re: Men, let's say you find out one of your children isn't yours

Doubt it but okay.

[khattichic]

Re: Men, let's say you find out one of your children isn't yours

for once, just once, can we have a thread in GS that doesn't start harping on the evils of western/liberal/non muslim/non desi mentalities...actually let me take that back, I forgot that western born and raised muslims/desis are just as bad as their gora/christian/atheist/agnostic counterparts...seriously, enough with the generalizations please!

[M_was_here]

Re: Men, let's say you find out one of your children isn't yours

^THANK YOU.

[cute_ainee]

Re: Men, let's say you find out one of your children isn't yours

You see that your child doesn't really look like you. To calm your suspicious mind, you go to the hospital and perform a paternity test only to find out the horrible truth. What do you do?

well i know someone,he is my best friend's friend who claims that his eldest son is not his own..he said that he had DNA tests of his son as well and he didn't let his wife know about it..crap huh

and then few days later he proposed my friend!

[Sara516]

Re: Men, let’s say you find out one of your children isn’t yours

@EDAL

That’s true, but Muslims tend to be more conservative and would take it more negatively than your average Western liberal male.

I doubt it.

http://www.paklinks.com/gs/life-and-relationships/489563-reason-for-the-double-standard.html

If you read the article in the first page, it’s rare that a man forgives his wife for doing that and that the family life will still be in tact. In those cases, the “father” resented/abandoned the child because of their wife’s indiscretion.

I consider myself on the liberal side but I still believe having another man’s baby and then lying about it is terribly wrong…and hte mother deserves any punishment she gets.

[Moodie_Foodie]

[quote="Keyboard_Stoker, post:204, topic:252729"]

You see that your child doesn't really look like you. To calm your suspicious mind, you go to the hospital and perform a paternity test only to find out the horrible truth. What do you do?

What kind of question is that to ask over here? That's like asking "so how did you plan your sons Bar Mitzva" you're talking about something which would be impossibly rare in the Muslim community.

However before I answer your question, I want to state that I would normally never lay a hand on any woman in a violent manner.

However, if as you said such an outrageous situation occurred, under that situation I would confront her and beat her, don't care about jail or the consequences. Only if I had 100% proof though, proof from a paternity test.
[/QUOTE]

Wow don't u sound like a dreamboat??A man who claims wont normally lay a hand on a woman probably wouldn't under any circumstances unless it was self defense. So for you to justifiably beat her and even go to jail for that raises red flag for me. For your own sake, I hope to god that u were being sarcastic

[M_was_here]

Re: Men, let's say you find out one of your children isn't yours

^If you become a Life1 regular, you'll soon realize that wasn't sarcasm.