I attributed this to illiterate village men. Boi was I wrong.
Case 1:This woman we know happens to be associate professor at a local college. Husband is working in Pakistan Tobacco Company. They are not getting along well and have arguments going on most of the times. Lately husband started beating her, tied her with phone cords and left home. This whole daily tamasha is being observed by two little boys. Imagine how its affecting them.
Case 2:Another women, principal at a montessori school. Husband beats her up and expels her at the middle of night.
Case 3: Benazir Bhutto International Airport. A Middle aged decent looking man, beating a decent looking women for some not so obvious reason.
I dont know why, i get angrier at the women for taking this BS. leave leave leave. these women seem to be educated and have jobs...leave them.....
what annoys me is when a married man has an affair with a woman, the wife will alwyas blame the woman before she gets angry the hubby, 99percent of time we love blaming women for everything, be it, rape- oh she asked for it- or anythinggggg along those lines. however when a man is beating a woman, we dont get angry at her anymore for not leaving, no, we jsut make excuses of why she should stay with him for the sake of the damn universe....
Don't spoil your sons
Don't give them everything they want
Make them respect you
Make them respect life
Make them learn how to sacrifice
Make them give other people priority
Give them a little to eat
Don't ask them what they want to eat
Show them kindness and tell them off for being mean and cruel
Commend them for getting good grades but more so for being called 'good' or well behaved.
If all do this then men cannot be like you say above ...
Let us look at Noble Verses 4:34-36 "(34). Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all)...... hmmmm.
If a man tries to hit you and you stay with him, you let him know that its okay...you will forgive.
If a man slaps you and you forgive him, he will think its okay...and he will do it again.
Why on earth do women stay in bad marriages? Most of the time, they've slipped into depression and barely know what they're doing. Its not that easy to walk away when you've been made to feel dependant and cannot function without your husband.
Don't spoil your sons
Don't give them everything they want
Make them respect you
Make them respect life
Make them learn how to sacrifice
Make them give other people priority
> Give them a little to eat
Don't ask them what they want to eat
Show them kindness and tell them off for being mean and cruel
Commend them for getting good grades but more so for being called 'good' or well behaved.
If all do this then men cannot be like you say above ...
Please tell me you are joking??
and
Meenaaz you are one step short form being that kind who would want bury male child upon birth.
I am a mother to a son. I have seen enough spoiled males out there to know that their mothers royally screwed up while raising them. They have God like Egos because that’s how their families treat them. I want my child to grow up to be a good human being and a good Muslim.
Giving little to eat does not mean starving the child. Khair, my bubloo eats everything in sight, but that doesnt’ mean that i allow him to play with food, throw it on the floor and tip his juice upside on the floor cause he’s soooo cute and it makes him giggle. I don’t think so.
When he drops something on the floor, he’s taken out of his seat and told to pick it up. He does it too.
All I know is that if my son grows up to be a bully, swears or hits people, I seriously did something wrong as a mother. That's my responsibility to ensure he doesn't turn out like that. It starts at home. It's cause they learn from an early age that there are no consequences to their actions. They go through life like this where they don't have to take responsiblity for anything. She made me hit her. She made me swear at her. It's always someone else's fault. Such individuals are never taught that they are responsible for their own behaviour and actions. The whole concept of empathy is non-existent. They are selfish and self-absorbed. Not taught to consider anybody else's feelings other than their own.
Women who end up in abusive situations and stay in it normally stay because they have little family support and zero self-esteem. It isn't as black and white as you may think.
JK... I've seen my own chaachi (in the village) saving big chicken pieces for her sons while she gave shorba to her daughters to eat with roti and my phupho used to save the leg piece for her son cuz he loved it, poor daughters would not get it even if they asked for it.
I think psyah is talking about these kind of scenarios.... I would say food should be equally distributed and not based on whether its a boy or a girl.... and the rules you have for your girls should also be implemented for your boys. Like I always ask my daughter what she wants to eat and then make that for her, I would do the same for my son.... I believe in treating both equally, don't spoil your kids but do shower them with love and teach them to respect individuals.
JK... I've seen my own chaachi (in the village) saving big chicken pieces for her sons while she gave shorba to her daughters to eat with roti and my phupho used to save the leg piece for her son cuz he loved it, poor daughters would not get it even if they asked for it.
I think psyah is talking about these kind of scenarios.... I would say food should be equally distributed and not based on whether its a boy or a girl.... and the rules you have for your girls should also be implemented for your boys. Like I always ask my daughter what she wants to eat and then make that for her, I would do the same for my son.... I believe in treating both equally, don't spoil your kids but do shower them with love and teach them to respect individuals.
