Re: Men Helping with Chores
My DH and I do not have the perfect marriage, nor are we perfect Muslims.
As a SAHM , I had better not be sitting on my tush all day long, watching Tv, or chatting on the phone. Do I expect DH to come home and start cooking for me after he has put in a hard days work? Erm no!
My DH came from a family where the men sit on their tush. I don't expect my DH to cook for me and the family, but he does more than enough for us. He provides for his family, and I proud of him for taking care for his family. He looks after all the cars, repairs them if necessary, unclogs the toilets (I do it too), helps with making atta, laying the table, cutting veggies, cleaning up the table etc. He repairs almost everything in the house if he can, Allah swt has given him that much capability. Even if tired, he will help out with the homework that I am unable to help with. Oh, he does his own laundry at times and even puts it away..as he is well aware how much I despise doing laundry.
I am responsible for all bills, all financial matters. I take the cars to get the tires rotated, air put in, even can change a tire if need be. (DH made sure I knew that for my own safety). I cook, I clean, but I don't put a single dish away as that chore belongs to my children. I don't ever sweep or vacuum the floors/ carpet, that chore is again the children's job. And one of those is my oldest son. He helps out more in the kitchen and household chores than anyone.
My DH and I had a chat a long time ago, as to what role our son would play as a son, future husband etc. If my son does not see his father help, my son will also not do it in the future. AH , my son does his own laundry, puts it away, does all the kitchen towels, towels, as well as putting them away. It's also his job to put out the trash, and he does it without whining.
Everything is not perfect, sometimes the others in the house will do a chore that was not done. The system does not break down, unless you want it to break down.
For years I did not make make roti for my family. yes , roti! Knowing how much my DH and family love roti, I finally started rolling out the chappati last year. Seeing the appreciation on the faces of my loved ones was worth it, my only regret being that I started making roti after many, many years. Frankly it was my EGO that prevented me from making roti. And since it is a chore to make roti, DH or DD help with making the atta and wiping down all surfaces and the stove.
My system may not be the perfect system , or it may seem to lack in equality in the eyes of others. Who cares when it works for me.
us meN to yeh bhii likhaa hai k **“agar shauhar biwii ko Hukm kare k saarii raat ek Taang par khaRii raho to biwii ko chuun o charaa na karte huye Hukm bajaa laane meN hii uskii deenii o dunivii bhalaaii hai!” **
