Men Helping with Chores

[ButtSb]

Re: Men Helping with Chores

@redvelvet

If the men of today don’t follow the Prophet SAW’s example, then the women of today are not much better. They want to follow the Prophet SAW’s wives in examples such as having a profession, fighting in a war, and quote examples of his patience when they failed to cook a meal for him…but they don’t want to emulate the wives’ humility and patience and level of respect that helped them maintain strong marriages whether they worked or were housewives.

In a marriage, if your partner usually takes care of you…you will be flexible with them if they fail to do something from time-to-time. My mom is a housewife and my dad cooks on the weekends, but during the rest of the week, my mom does the cooking. If once in a while my mom doesn’t cook anything, my dad compromises by getting take-out. If my mom repeatedly failed to contribute, my dad would be upset…and he’s a pretty patient guy. We read some ahadith and we take them to be the norm when that may not be the case.

For instance, the hadith where a servant says that the Prophet SAWS never rebuked him for not doing anything…does this imply that this was the norm and that the servant never did any work at all? I doubt it. You read one hadith where the Prophet SAW’s wife did not have a meal cooked when he asked…does this imply that she rarely cooked? If he SAWS ASKED her what was cooked or what was for lunch/dinner…then his ASKING implies that he had the expectation that she would tend to this household responsibility. If he SAWS showed her mercy for not cooking anything…she, too, did not find his expectation to be demeaning; she didn’t argue that I don’t have to cook cuz I’m not obligated to. You wanna quote examples of the wives working, not cooking, fighting in battle…but you don’t wanna emulate their humility and patience and respect without which they would not have gone on to become the esteemed Mothers of the Believers. I doubt they (yes, even businesswoman Hazrat Khadija) would have received such a lofty status if they scorned/mocked simple tasks (cooking, cleaning, chai)…which reflect your care for your loved ones. But here housewives are being mocked and if they serve chai or tend to the cooking…they’re seen as overambitious pushovers. The men get a scolding for not following the Prophet SAWS’s character…for picking and choosing from the sunnah…but the women, too, are not emulating character of the wives in the true sense. It’ll be brushed off with the comment that “nobody is comparing anyone to the prophet’s wives”…,WHY NOT? If you can compare the men to him SAWS…why can the women not be compared then?

This thread is not just about men helping with chores, it’s not that simple because there’s a mocking/condescending undercurrent flowing.

Thats what i wanted to say tooo…

Aapko kya ho gya hai aajkal??? Hanging out with farhat aunty??

the latter is cloying.

i learned a new word today… thats right.