Re: men and mid life crisis
anotha ov da kind 
we make too many rules, and then complain there are too many rules.
i think society at large is a little ageist anyways u know
young guy and girl kissing in public is more acceptable than an old couple for many, could a 60 yr old not love his wife and want to kiss her?
I mean where do u draw the line..if something is tasteless or gaudy then its tasteless or gaudy at any age.
now lets look at karachi beaches for example…younger gusy wear shorts, majority of older guys dont, but in europe and US they do. I mean in Pakistan you would usually not see ppl above a certain age even wear jeans, while in US there is no such issue.
its very cultural isnt it? what is acceptable at a certain age or not?
Re: men and mid life crisis
:( I dont wanna think about it. Its ok for guys to age...I mean Sean Connery man...he made the list of world's sexiest men at or near age 70 and I hafta agree with his nomination!!! Doesnt quite cut it when it comes to us gals when we start gettin up there in years :(
as "Mammy" (from gonewith the wind) says "It aint fittin. It aint fittin, it just aint fittin."
Re: men and mid life crisis
Okay here some EXTREME example of mid life crisis I have witnessed in the community
The guys wasn't pakistani but Egyption. After 20 years of marriage he one day decided to sell his house where his wife, two teenager sons and a new baby currently lived and gave ALL the money to relatives in need and to the masjid without consent from the wife. She just didn't want to move in an apartment anymore. They got divorced!
A lawyer uncle in community walked on his 3 kids and wife and moved in with his African American secetary in the same town. He said "his wife just doesn't do it for him anymore".
After 2 years walked back in and ofcourse his wife took him back.This happened in the Detroit community a while ago - A Uncle and Aunti met online. They were both in their 50s and both had kids were in college. Both divorced their spouses and moved to Florida.
I do agree with you niksik - I think there should be awareness of these issues.
It relates back to your thread about hijab. Sometimes the person in front of starts changing. Some people due to circumstances or not, start changing who they were when they first got married.
Self grooming and taking care of your health is good. I think more people should do it in their 30s and 40 so they don’t have issues in their 50s.
we make too many rules, and then complain there are too many rules. i think society at large is a little ageist anyways u know young guy and girl kissing in public is more acceptable than an old couple for many, could a 60 yr old not love his wife and want to kiss her?
I mean where do u draw the line..if something is tasteless or gaudy then its tasteless or gaudy at any age.
now lets look at karachi beaches for example...younger gusy wear shorts, majority of older guys dont, but in europe and US they do. I mean in Pakistan you would usually not see ppl above a certain age even wear jeans, while in US there is no such issue.
its very cultural isnt it? what is acceptable at a certain age or not?
X2 - rules are good and bad.
I think some rules (religious) keep us all in check. I think fear that we all have someone higher to answer to keeps us from doing very hurtful things to others
I also like the fact in our cultrure, we are accountable to our parents, inlaws and community. I am the eldest one in the family and I am expected to set good examples for my younger siblings and cousins. It's annoying sometimes, but I just can't be reckless with my emotions and feelings because I have that responsibility. (I don't know whether that makes sense or not)
Re: men and mid life crisis
How about the guy who hardly brings food three times a day for his family and lets say he's 45.He cud care less abt a ganja head or more These are just fancy terms coined by these goras to put a cover on the hollowness of their lives. and den those who follow the trail, can't say more about them. Tch Tch. Sometimes in-excess materialistic comforts bore that hole, ya in the upper head section. So there ya go shelling out and the more.
How about the guy who hardly brings food three times a day for his family and lets say he's 45.He cud care less abt a ganja head or more These are just fancy terms coined by these goras to put a cover on the hollowness of their lives. and den those who follow the trail, can't say more about them. Tch Tch. Sometimes in-excess materialistic comforts bore that hole, ya in the upper head section. So there ya go shelling out and the more.
Its not just a gora phenomenon. similar things apply in pretty much every culture.
so while midlife crises may have been a term coined by a gora the phenomenon is not limited to goras, other cultures came up with the same thing independently.
Buddhi ghorri laal lagam is a term that was not coined by goras
X2 - rules are good and bad.
I think some rules (religious) keep us all in check. I think fear that we all have someone higher to answer to keeps us from doing very hurtful things to others
I also like the fact in our cultrure, we are accountable to our parents, inlaws and community. I am the eldest one in the family and I am expected to set good examples for my younger siblings and cousins. It's annoying sometimes, but I just can't be reckless with my emotions and feelings because I have that responsibility. (I don't know whether that makes sense or not)
I agree some rules make sense, some dont, some change with time, some dont. what is acceptable in society changes, not always for the best but it does change. what is acceptable in a society changes over time, not too long ago ladies with shorter hair styles were called "parr katti kabootri" type of things :) so change is inevitable and with that change old rules become obsolete. Not all change is positive I suppose, and people dont have to embrace all change.
to cling on to 'rules' as divine revelations would have meant we would be living like we did hundreds of years ago, and believe me rules were different back then ( i know, I was there :) )
How about the guy who hardly brings food three times a day for his family and lets say he's 45.He cud care less abt a ganja head or more These are just fancy terms coined by these goras to put a cover on the hollowness of their lives. and den those who follow the trail, can't say more about them. Tch Tch. Sometimes in-excess materialistic comforts bore that hole, ya in the upper head section. So there ya go shelling out and the more.
Hotcake - you are right. Sometimes striving for a life is actually is good thing. I stated that in my initial thread.
For most people who are just trying to get by month to month and putting food on the table and keeping a roof on their head perhaps don't have these issues.
Empty mind is a devil's workshop.
Re: men and mid life crisis
Empty mind is a devil's workshop-----That's the summary.
Hotcake - you are right. Sometimes striving for a life is actually is good thing. I stated that in my initial thread.
For most people who are just trying to get by month to month and putting food on the table and keeping a roof on their head perhaps don't have these issues.
Empty mind is a devil's workshop.
I think it is less of an socioeconmic issue and more of a personal issue. people in lower economic groups who want to act out, act out in other ways.
Re: men and mid life crisis
^ like what?
^ like what?
in Pakistan- middle aged men hangign in bazaars undressing women with their eyes, pinching/groping when they get a chance?
In US- the under privileged in US, is the life in the ghettos some model life where everyone is living a clean life.
when you go to other countries where there is poverty, it has other things, u can see demonstrations of that in the carribean, and even places like morocco.
These are middle aged family men I am talking about, if someone is going to want to do dodgy stuff because theya re confused about life, and want some thrills, they will find a way, whatever is in their budget, or ability.
blaming something on the well off and the west is an easy way out.
I recall a time when depression was supposed to be teh curse of the wealthy in the west exclusively as wel :)
is there any other choice?
U make it sound like its an inevitable conclusion !
I think mid-life crisis manifests only when the man feels that he hasn't achieved what he had imagined he would be it in his career or personal life .
Okay here some EXTREME example of mid life crisis I have witnessed in the community
The guys wasn't pakistani but Egyption. After 20 years of marriage he one day decided to sell his house where his wife, two teenager sons and a new baby currently lived and gave ALL the money to relatives in need and to the masjid without consent from the wife. She just didn't want to move in an apartment anymore. They got divorced!
A lawyer uncle in community walked on his 3 kids and wife and moved in with his African American secetary in the same town. He said "his wife just doesn't do it for him anymore". After 2 years walked back in and ofcourse his wife took him back.
This happened in the Detroit community a while ago - A Uncle and Aunti met online. They were both in their 50s and both had kids were in college. Both divorced their spouses and moved to Florida.
Groaaaaannnnnnnnnn.
Some more groannnnnnnnnn.
I think some people need that little spice in their life otherwise they get bored.
Re: men and mid life crisis
SU - then we should rub them with Shan masalas :)
Seriously every human needs something more than water, food and shelter. I don't know call it ambition or love or something. But something to look forward to or something to strive for at the end of day.
Every one has choildhood dreams and there comes a time whether
- you have not gotten to where you wanted to because life took over OR
- you have done everything you wanted to and more in life and you don't know what to do anymore.
Midlife sounds really depressing!
I say dump all men when they start showing signs and find yourself a toyboy!
like you seem to have found one
Re: men and mid life crisis
aw man let the dude have an affair/crisis...gives me a free card :o
aw man let the dude have an affair/crisis...gives me a free card :o
What if he started frosting his tips at the age of 45. What does that entitle you to do? :)