men and mid life crisis

Niksik · May 13, 2009, 2:19am

You become that hormone!
Learn the salsa and do a cha cha cha every evening.
Focus more on steak less on nihari.
Find pleasure in hiking rather than “dish”

:o

I can’t say more otherwise Sara and MO3 will have to warn me

But on a more serious note, really, don’t ever take comfort in a relationship for granted. Women go through crises as well. It’s not like we’ve not heard of women seeking men for extra marital affairs or a good time or finding a different direction than their husbands. All of a sudden you see women reaching that age and becoming overly depressed over little little things. But this thread is about the menfolk. Any relationship needs to be well oiled and nurtured. One must feel needed and loved.

njgal · May 13, 2009, 2:32am

interesting - but don’t you think you can change someone?

A guy is going to do what a guy is going to do. I mean you really cannot CHANGE somone who had a desire to buy a car, or have twinkie on the side. can you?

X2 · May 13, 2009, 2:36am

sheesh whats so bad about buying a car. i mean if it is ridulously priced and really out of your reach but you still do it yeah, but if its affordable than does it matter if it is an SUV or a roadster?

as far as twinkie on the side, twinkies, hohos and other hostess stuff has to be avoided.

njgal · May 13, 2009, 2:36am

X2:

true, but in many cases people are starting out they dont have the money always to buy a merc coupe, they have responsibilities, building a career, building a marriage, having time for kids, saving for that down payment on the house.

They may have a sporty car in the 20's but most really are not in a position to get their dream car, or rather the achievable dream car..(there is a diff)

so you have kids, you get the family hauler, a coupe just wont cut it. Most guys will tell you that there comes a time that for a few years they really dont have much of a personal life or rather they have to give up a lot of what they did.

Men will not go into saying what all they give up that is dear to them for the marriage and for the family. If you look at this forum you will find women complaining about all kinds of things, but you dont see men do the same, because in general they will look at the competing priorities, needs, wants and make a choice and go with it. As the need of those priorities changes, they start giving more importance to their own needs/wants they had sacrificed. Whether its toys, time or entertainment.

X2 - but I don't see that much of expense car buying in pakistani community. How many uncles do you know go off and buy expensive cars?

So what do they do when they have a mid life crisis?

Do you think they don't have it because they are allthe time striving to get ahead in a country like US?

njgal · May 13, 2009, 2:40am

I think i speak for most women when I say cars don't bother me, motor bikes don't bother me, traveling on your own doens't bother me but the twinkie on the side or filling an emotional or physical gap with someone else is bothersome

But I don't think you can control that in either spouse. right?

hitchki · May 13, 2009, 3:31am

Re: men and mid life crisis

also. an old guy in a flashy car looks like an idiot. and and and everyone thinks he is over compensating.
sooooooo

better to rock out in your twenties than go out with a shameful whimper in ur 40s. What ever happened to dignity :(

Niksik · May 13, 2009, 3:52am

Re: men and mid life crisis

NJgal, You can’t really change someone yes, but you can change yourself and hope that other person catches that. I think if there is willingness, a relationship can always get better. Both parties have to participate, maybe one has to initiate.

Hitcki, naah, a 40 year old man looks neat in a nice car and nice Tshirt. One must not sink into the traditional expectations of a tidd. I’m all for men and spas

X2 · May 13, 2009, 4:39am

I dont see many older desi men in roadsters, expensive cars, good god yes, mercedes, lexus, bmw, infiniti, jag, cadillac, u name it

You can control it if you have a marriage where they dont have to go seek thrills outside. But again how much can u doing the right thing really keep someone else from doing the wrong thing.

what is the definition of old? plus I never used the term flashy, flashy is tacky, at any age really. I said sporty..big big difference

a 60 year old in a flashy suped up ricer like an eclipse or lancer evo is one thing, but someone in 40s or in an m5, or bmw 6 series or merc cl or sl, jaguar XK does not look tacky at all, and not too many ppl in their 20s can rock out to any of the cars I mentioned.

what is the average age of a porsche 911 buyer? or a BMW m5 or 6 series?

The car companies know it, and the image of a fat, old geezer in a red convertible corvette is something most ppl stay away from.

There was a reason that there was a boost in sport sedans that give u ample performance and style while being understated and roadsters that are not vulgar like a corvette.

X2 · May 13, 2009, 4:52am

Re: men and mid life crisis

anyhoo to circle back , my point was that guys get some breathing room, some stability, and often want to do something that they could not earlier, whether its new activities, a nicer car, vacation whatever, that can not be called a midlife crises, it may happen at the same time others are having issues with confusion and go for flings and what nots, but the two are not the same thing.

while parts of the actions have an overlap, the reasons and underlying motivation can be very different

Gina · May 13, 2009, 8:51am

If he buys the car.. u buy a Harry Winston solitare..

Follow everything Gabriella Solis does from The Desperate Housewives!

Captain_FT · May 13, 2009, 9:25am

hey what is mid life crisis? aaan?

Spock · May 13, 2009, 12:47pm

hitch stop making fun of uncles, they have feelings too you know!

p.s.

NJMasti · May 13, 2009, 12:50pm

lol

true! our lives are full of crisis... and life1 forum is already filled with such talks... haha

alishaht · May 13, 2009, 1:37pm

One of my uncles is going exactly through this....As a kid, until now, I had never seem him groomed....Now whenever I talk to him, all he cares about is fitness, grooming and how he is getting so much attention from ladies....Initially I thought he was joking about all this and I use to laugh it off....but then I met him and I was shocked to see that he actually looked like a different person...He has a happy family mashaAllah and I hated it when he talked about a second marriage even as a joke...That to me, is total mid-life crisis.

NJMasti · May 13, 2009, 1:53pm

Re: men and mid life crisis

^ booooo to men like these :(

cause they didn't have to go through pregger days and ALWAYS have the option to be fit. Now if he is even kidding about 2nd marriage - I would hate it cause he has "nothing" to loose :(

CM · May 13, 2009, 1:54pm

Re: men and mid life crisis

My mid life crisis I am corrupting a Hijabi. My gift to the world!

X2 · May 13, 2009, 9:45pm

Re: men and mid life crisis

I decided to do that in my twenties, in my midlife crises I may focus on something else.

Mamaof3 · May 13, 2009, 9:51pm

Re: men and mid life crisis

X2, just keep away from hair dye, toupees, potent colognes and red convertibles.

Oh and the worst...comb-overs.

Niksik · May 13, 2009, 9:56pm

Re: men and mid life crisis

I think people over complicate life and start defining and analyzing each and every issue. So what shall we call it when kids start takingg showers themselves: ooo ooo mid childhood skill syndrome…no no MCSS.

Sheeeeeeeeesh.

Enjoy life folks. Do your best. Give it all you got.

X2 · May 13, 2009, 10:14pm

okay..lemme write it down

shave head rather than combover
light colognes
and no red (prolly yellow wont work either)..whew, i dont like red anyways, black, graphite, silver etc is more my style.

got it..

and hostess twinies and hohos, not the other type of twinkies and hohos I suppose?