Re: Men and fantasies – yuck!
God knows her every move! she seems to be an expert at “larkay phasana” .. 
It’s sure a lesson! 
and I am glad you learned it!
Re: Men and fantasies – yuck!
I just can’t do that to her! I may drop a hint if I suspect a dirty move (from either side) … Will that do?
Re: Men and fantasies -- yuck!
Now that DHTN has clarified that girl is very good at flirting and draws attention ('larkey phasana') and this moved forward because of her involvement, now lets see what the arguing parties have to say?
Re: Men and fantasies – yuck!
Yeah. I am waiting for Carebear to come with her latest against men even in this situation. Ofcoursre men have to guard themselves and they are more responsible and they should not be expected to fall for flirts, naheen? 
Re: Men and fantasies – yuck!
So you are not close eh
The fact that he talks hours on the phone with this 19 yr old. The two guilty parties live in two different countries and yet the girl is to blamed for making the moves. You also witnessed the word sex written next to the girl’s name.I wonder how YOU know his fantasies. Amazing. You seem to know everything yet his wife doesn’t Maybe you should help the goofball out with her husband.
Re: Men and fantasies – yuck!
Assumptions uff! The girl is NOT nineteen years old. She is probably around twenty-three. I never said he talks to her on the phone for hours. He used to talk to her for that long when he was in pakistan. He still had a wife and kids. When I said her involvement somewhat encouraged his actions, I meant when the two were close to each other. She obviously can’t do anything now, that’s why I hold the guy accountable for it. His wife doesn’t use computers, and I saw her name on his computer, which I had to use to print something out while I was at their house. Makes sense?
Re: Men and fantasies – yuck!
A fifty-some years old guy hitting on a twenty-some years old girl sounds awkward, naheen?
Re: Men and fantasies – yuck!
Agree. Arent we twisting things too much? Why dont we come to a consensus as to who is the subject and who object in this particular case? Please gimme your specific point of view and I would remain focussed on it, promise.
Re: Men and fantasies -- yuck!
oh she's 20 something?
In that case there is nothing odd about a 50 year old getting turned on by a 20 year old since she's a woman not a child - also she has the faculty of sense in her to avoid situations in which she'd be interacting with a married older man in a way that could cause problems.
I'm sorry you have to see something like that - and if she was a child like a 12 year old, I would say the man is mentally disturbed.
There is nothing disturbing about it (although of course its wrong). Biologically speaking, an older man is still making sperm. He will normally get attracted to a female who is menstruating and ovulating.
Its socially sickening of course because of the age difference, but more importantly because he is married and that this is someone he is related to.
But biologically - no this is not sick - this is typical male behavior and typical female behavior.
An older man wants young flesh, and a younger girl may want someone older and stable to look after her. The new incoming female will not care about desroying domestic peace, because she has her own selfish motives. The elder woman knows that her territory is being stomped on and she'll try to protect it. The man will try to make sure the first doesn't get in the way of him getting the second, so naturally he wont tell his wife. That's the underlying idea at any rate.
Re: Men and fantasies -- yuck!
^oh bhaae...what stuff r u made of....
Re: Men and fantasies – yuck!
I would like to see myself how much she’d avoid him when he’s closeby. This started when she was quiet young, so practically the guy should’ve backed off since she wasn’t mature enough to understand. Now that she is an adult, let’s see how she’ll reach to the situation. I hope he keeps his fantasies to himself when confronting her. 
So you are saying the two could go further? I am sure he’s not the kind of guy who would bring a “SOTAN” over his wife, but tell me how can anyone put a stop to this without getting cursed at? lol.
Re: Men and fantasies -- yuck!
kryptonite, ghulail.
Well, it depends - it could be possible that he might have a fling with her, since taking on a second wife means responsibility which men will avoid when its really a matter of sexual attraction (unless if they're a rich sheikh and such behavior is the norm).
Also, its possible nothing might happen - that he just might want to fantasize about a younger woman - has seen her face a lot - and is just using her image to satisfy himself - and he may never actually discuss it with her.
Also its possible he might take a second wife. It depends on the guy and the girl and their choices. Tough to make a call right now, even in your position.
Re: Men and fantasies -- yuck!
Seedha Saada, I have nothing against men. You can search through gupshup to see if you can find any men-bashing threads/posts by me. But if preferred, you can continue waiting. :)
I'm going to stay out of this thread. That one comment by me turned this thread into a war-zone.
Re: Men and fantasies – yuck!
Hmm, he’s sexually attracted to her and I’m positive he never mentioned this to her either. I don’t know her motives since she is out of my reach, however, she’s quiet materialistic and the guy can provide her a great deal of nonessentials. She will never want to marry him though.
Re: Men and fantasies – yuck!
awww.. 
Re: Men and fantasies -- yuck!
Dimagh hota toua na, well its story of one side, definitely this uncle is wrong, but I think in this case 23+ girl should also be accountable too. its disgusting situation yea it is. but if many in family know about this person, i think no one should allow him in family functions or near to their kids.
then again cause of family these are put it under the carpet for the family sake. but this will have very negetive effect on this girl later in life.
this should be raised with elders and he should be cornered in his own fence.
Re: Men and fantasies -- yuck!
Dimagh it sounds like from what you've described that everyone knows that this is an issue - and that the family is trying to deal with it somehow. Whatever happened, its in the past - at this point, the girl can guard herself against this old man, and the old man can at least try to be faithful to his wife. You're now entering a zone of personal matters - both are adults and they will end up doing what they chose to. Since the family has already spoken to both sides at some level, there is not much you can do at this point.
Guys will cheat - girls will cheat - there will be victims in the mess. And there isn't much you can do to stop it when the ball is already rolling - just pray that the two have some sense in them.
Now, if on the other hand you actually witness some sexual act with your own eyes, then it might be a different matter - in that case at least alert the wife. But you haven't seen anything like it, and I hope you dont.
Re: Men and fantasies -- yuck!
Dimagh, have u met the girl and seen her "larka phansaying"? Or is it stuff you've just heard?
i actually know an uncle here who is quite sick too, well we've seen and witnessed his actions.. and he's been taken out of the social circle we're in.. people refuse to associate with him.
a few years ago, i saw him walking around holding hands at the shops with a younger pakistani girl, who was staying with him and his family.. very disturbing.. the girls married with kids now though.. and he.. yikes.. he went onto getting married, kicknig his first wife out, divorcing the second wife, begging the first wife to come back.. bla bla bla.. sometimes u wonder what mitti people are made of.. those who cheat and those who keep returning to cheaters again and again..
Re: Men and fantasies – yuck!
I dont think an “uncle” can marry his “niece” under any circumstances. Besides, the romantic relationship u 've mentioned between a chacha n a bhateeji iz a lil too creepy. I personally think, ur family should take immediate action against this “very close” relative of urs.
Re: Men and fantasies – yuck!
oh he’s the chacha by blood? I thought he was like a khaloo or phupha or something - not related by blood.
Yikes, if he’s related by blood, then nevermind me - that’s actually incest.
perdona mey.