The nerve? Oh yeah I have the nerve to say something like that…I also have the nerve to stick with what I said. I did make a comment in general. I also thought that the girl was not a child, but an adult.
Let me explain in detail what I think about this situation.If both people are adults frankly, I do not care to blame the guy for the whole situation. Im not going to feel sorry for the girl when I do NOT even know the whole situation. Im assuming again that she is in fact not a child. If she is , then the guy is completely to blame!
First of all this thread was about a guy having fantasies about the girl. I never said she was to blame or he was. Its sick, and the guy must be sick, and people should definately do something about it. I would have to be out of my mind if I said that its the girls fault. But to be quite honest if people know, or if the girl knows, it would only be sensible if she avoided him at all costs. She CAN do something. In fact the whole family can. If the guy has issues, and wont behave, well then its up to the other people to intervene and take care of the situation.
You know a girl who was raped, Ive known many such girls myself. In fact I also know of guys who were raped. This whole blaming it on men , the women are innocent is not right. We do not know the whole situation.There have been cases where women have taken advantage of young boys and girls. Which is what I was getting at, before everyone started coming up with how many ways to shoot the guy. But as usual my comment was taken the wrong way.I dont see a point in blaming the guy. Sitting around and attacking him isnt helping the girl. She should move away from him and the families should get a reality check and do something.
I suggest that this individual seek serious help. In fact I dont see why a person would sit back and not do anything , knowing how terrible this could get.God forbid.
haha. Thanks for trying so hard to clarify my post. I completely missed how badly I was misunderstood until now.
Again I cant believe that the families know yet all they did was talk to the two parties. They need to take some serious action.Heck the girls family should move, or get him into some mental health facility. Before something stupid happens.
it si categorically not the girls fault. If 19 yr old kids have to be talked to about being careful around family members..you have huge issues in your family, society etc.
I didnt say it was her fault. It can be the fault of one side, the other or both.And a person can be 19 but still dumb enough not to know what to watch out for.
Anyway when people are aware of the situation, I think they should do soemthing about it. Its stupid to sit around and wait for something to happen.
19 yr olds are always dumb. infact 25 yr olds are still dumb..they are still the prey. bamboozled or not..
it is the same mentality as men telling women what they should wear and then laying the blame on the woman because she was asking for it..miniskirt or not..
edit: Blaming the girl is cute though. Especially if one is prone to playing the victim oneself.
I hate people (non gender-specific hate)
As a more relevant aside however I wonder what the girl would say... and to whome (whome has an e). And also I wonder what she is afraid of... Noone wats to be perved at by their father-sort.
MQ, you can have the nerve to say whatever the heck you want. If I see someone blaming a child for something as horrible as that happening to them, I WILL have an issue and WILL speak out, whether anyone likes it or not. This is not in regards to this thread only...just generally speaking.
[quote]
This whole blaming it on men , the women are innocent is not right. We do not know the whole situation.There have been cases where women have taken advantage of young boys and girls. Which is what I was getting at, before everyone started coming up with how many ways to shoot the guy. But as usual my comment was taken the wrong way.I dont see a point in blaming the guy. Sitting around and attacking him isnt helping the girl. She should move away from him and the families should get a reality check and do something.
[/quote]
I already explained in my original post what meanings I got out of your post. And it looks like I'm not the only one who did. If a young girl is being taken advantage of, YES I will blame the man involved.
As far as your comment about you being taken the wrong way 'as usual' is concerned, I wouldn't know. I haven't really come across any of your threads/posts, so I don't know jack about how other people take your opinion, nor do I have an interest.
[quote]
Im assuming again that she is in fact not a child. If she is , then the guy is completely to blame!
[/quote]
[quote]
I never said she was to blame or he was. Its sick, and the guy must be sick, and people should definately do something about it. I would have to be out of my mind if I said that its the girls fault.
[/quote]
I can break it up into 2nd grader english if need be.
carebear please do read my post again. This time read all of whats in it. Thanks. :)
**Im assuming again that she is in fact not a child. If she is , then the guy is completely to blame!
I never said she was to blame or he was. Its sick, and the guy must be sick, and people should definately do something about it. I would have to be out of my mind if I said that its the girls fault.**
What CM has been trying to say about my previous post. Here I'll say it from myself.
Dimagh posted it up not so that she could get some referrals from the armchair psychotherapists of Life1, but for moral and emotional support. Imagine if you found out your uncle was like that. Wouldn't you want some assurance that most men are not like this and that this must be some sick mental illness?
agreed .. :k: … not only that, but she hasn’t mentioned the girl’s age at all. If anything, she said this happened years ago and the girl has kept away from him since, yet he’s still somewhat obsessed with her. It’s disturbing to say the least. After all, it’s his niece.
Whoa! look at it!!! So much happened while I was away. Since I have read through all of your posts, I would like to clarify a few things.
The guy’s wife knows all about it, but since it happened a long time ago she probably thinks it’s over. She doesn’t know that he’s still obsessed with his bhanji’s fantasies.
Now most of you are thinking that the girl is being abused. No she is not. Her involvement somewhat pushed the whole thing forward (now and then). She’s one hell of a flirt, no doubt about that. She seems to attract too many guys.
The two don’t communicate regularly since the guy lives overseas and she’s in Pakistan. I don’t know how often he calls her, but still that doesn’t explain his ongoing fantasies.
I am worried because he’s leaving for Pakistan in a few days. God knows what will happen when the two meet and on top of that, there’s no one to look after the guy.
I am not telling anyone about this, because I don’t want to upset his wife. His wife is very dear to me and so are his kids. I don’t know if I am on the right track or not, but I am simply too scared to break it to her. How would she react to the situation?
All of you make some sense in your posts. I apologize for not explaining the situation fully, but honestly, I didn’t want this thread to be too personal. That explains why I left out the details in the first post.
DH, you need to find the courage and tell his wife. This kind of sick relationship must be stopped. You must be straightforward and let her know, if she is dear to you and you care about her, than you must be honest and truthful. No beating around the bush, fill her in on all the details so she can take care of the sicko herself. As far as the girl is concerned, she needs to see a good psychologist/therapist.
So much happened while I was away. Since I have read through all of your posts, I would like to clarify a few things.
