For people who know someone who have adopted a child or have adopted a child, how do you get around all the mehram/na-mehram problem when the kids are grown up?
Re: mehram/na-mehram
I dont know anyone but personally I do not do sharai parda so I do not think it will be a problem for me for now atleast if I adopt a child.
I heard of a girl who follows sharai parda and since the family she was being married ino lived in a joint family, she decided to observe parda in home too. It sounds difficult to me but not entirely impossible I suppose !!
Re: mehram/na-mehram
that is why it will always be better if the family adopts a boy, so that the father can be more comfortable and so can the girl, when she is at a age where she may feel 'conscious'. however, on the other hand even the mom may have to be decently dressed etc if she has a an adopted son?
umm... it's confusing. i guess it is all in the mind?
i know of a close family friend who has two adopted (from different people) teenage children both age 15. they are completely like regular siblings.
i do not know how true it is, but ive heard that a man cannot give an adopted son his own name? it has to have Abdullah as sir name?
Re: mehram/na-mehram
^huh? I didn't understand why it's better to adopt a boy?
If you come from a family that is strictly conscious of "mehram and non mehrams" then you can think about being a wet nurse to the baby or adopting from the same gender as your other kids.
If you come from a family which doesn't care about strict parda, it doesn't matter.
Re: mehram/na-mehram
facepalm and then :rotato:
Re: mehram/na-mehram
Okay, I See that it Might be more difficult when you dó sharai parda and have adopted a child of the opposite gender. But my concern is not about sharai parda only, what about the natural feelings and emotions between a child and parent? The hugging/kissing? Every touchbis basically a sin for both of you religiously speakkng. Even if you dó not dó sharai parda, he/she is still a na mehram for you or your spouse. And how is it easiere to adopt boy, someone suggested this?
Nj gal, what dó you mean by nursing?
Re: mehram/na-mehram
that is why it will always be better if the family adopts a boy, so that the father can be more comfortable and so can the girl, when she is at a age where she may feel 'conscious'. however, on the other hand even the mom may have to be decently dressed etc if she has a an adopted son?
umm... it's confusing. i guess it is all in the mind?
i know of a close family friend who has two adopted (from different people) teenage children both age 15. they are completely like regular siblings.
i do not know how true it is, but ive heard that a man cannot give an adopted son his own name? it has to have Abdullah as sir name?
I dont know about the rest but @ your last sentence, yes, I have also heard that in Islam, adopted son can neither be given the name or share in inheritance. I mean he will not have a share automatically as good as own children. But that is something else.
The OP asks about the issue of mehram and na mehram in adoptation. YES it exists since obviously a boy 10 years plus is na mehram so obviously you cannot make believe that you have adopted a boy and he will be your son for like forever and you and he both can treat each other like real mother and son, NO YOU CANT. I think its in Surah Noor where explicit details of mehram and na mehram relations have been defined. Obviously the same goes if you adopt a girl. Your husband will be na mehram for her once she comes of the age (I am not sure whats the exact coming of age is in shareeah).
The point being, the basic idea of adoptation is not much encouraged in Islam. Maybe for the fitna it could create. Like this issue of mehram and na mehram. This issue wont exist if you:
Either are living alone and you adopt same sex baby or a nephew/niece already.
Or as a couple you adopt a baby which happens to be a mehram already. Like you can adopt your husband's niece or your nephew.
If you want to adopt for sawab only, you can always support a family or a kid's education financially.
Re: mehram/na-mehram
Couples that observe the sharai parda will obviously take certain steps to ensure what they are doing is in accordance to any religious laws, by talking to the imam and looking at what they are about to do and if this is right from a religous point.
but when a couple are thinking about or going to adopt a child you would be (and also making every other family memeber thats involved) looking at that child as your own child not as somone else’s because your giving that child your own family name you have to be clear in your heart and your partner has to be clear in their heart that they look at that child through a parents eyes and not as something else. When your adopting your taking the responsibility of loving and caring for that child as your own, if your too busy thinking about mehram and na mehram then somewhere in your heart you dont belive that child is yours which will be a bit unfair on the chosen child. If you already have other children then you will be teaching them that this is your new brother or sister and you have to respect them as that relationship.
I want to Inshallah adopt a child, and this hasnt even crossed my mind about the whole “kissing and hugging the child would you feel right” becasue to me as a person who doesnt observ sharai Parda I am taking this child to my home where me and my husband our the parents and this child is ours you’re going to console and deal with the child as your own.
Just my two cents from a none sharai parda way 
Re: mehram/na-mehram
^ I initially thought the thread was from sharai parda pov but after reading the OPs second post I think I understand what she is talking about.
My sister knew a girl whose parents had adopted a boy. The boy was older than the girl. I am not sure at what age probably teenage but he started liking the girl. He was not her real brother, he knew it and she knew it. The girl had no such feelings. I dont know what happened to him afterwards when he made his feelings known.
Wet nurse means, bf the adopted child and then he/she will be mehram to the siblings and mother.
Re: mehram/na-mehram
You have to breastfeed the kid. Milk of any mehram is ok. So for adopting parents, mother can feed, mothers sister or fathers sister can feed. Basically any woman of the family, whose child the adopting parents cannot marry, can feed the kid (few drops of milk is ok) and the kid will become mehram for the parents.
Re: mehram/na-mehram
[QUOTE]
My sister knew a girl whose parents had adopted a boy. The boy was older than the girl. I am not sure at what age probably teenage but he started liking the girl. He was not her real brother, he knew it and she knew it. The girl had no such feelings. I dont know what happened to him afterwards when he made his feelings known.
[/QUOTE]
That would only happen if parents didn't explain things properly what is expected out of siblings or made the child feel like that they are not siblings.
If parents can't get over the non mehram issues, how do they expect the kids to do that?
Re: mehram/na-mehram
This is why Man is a superior creature :k:
They talk sense. (sometimes) 
TLK bhai you suggested such a convenience 
bravo.
Re: mehram/na-mehram
You have to breastfeed the kid. Milk of any mehram is ok. So for adopting parents, mother can feed, mothers sister or fathers sister can feed. Basically any woman of the family, whose child the adopting parents cannot marry, can feed the kid (few drops of milk is ok) and the kid will become mehram for the parents.
Thank you. This was the solution answer I was looking for.
Re: mehram/na-mehram
Thanks :D, but its not my suggestion, its a sharai fatwa.
Re: mehram/na-mehram
Thank you. This was the solution answer I was looking for.
You are welcome.
Now you guys know that X2 is a jaali peer. Ignore him. For all your religious fatwas and solutions, you should all always come to Mufti TLK.
Re: mehram/na-mehram
Okay, maybe I’m not understanding the word sharai parda, but I thought it meant you did hijab?!
Anyhow, obviously when you adopt a child you do it with the intention of “making” that child yours, why would you else do it? One thing is how you feel about the child in your heart, another thing is what your relationship is with the child in your religion, in this case being Islam. And as I can see it from the replies here I guess it all come downs to how you view upon this. For me personally I would do something like TLK suggested as even if I dont do sharai parda/Hijab, I dont have the frank kind of relationship with na-mehrams in my life (cousins, door ke rishtedaar etc etc), which I would like to have with a son.
How can a woman who hasn't given birth breastfeed?
Milk just doesn't start coming out you know
Re: mehram/na-mehram
How can a woman who hasn't given birth breastfeed? Milk just doesn't start coming out you know
I think there are pills.
Re: mehram/na-mehram
How can a woman who hasn't given birth breastfeed? Milk just doesn't start coming out you know
Yeah I thinks something like hormonal therapy maybe....
Re: mehram/na-mehram
How can a woman who hasn't given birth breastfeed? Milk just doesn't start coming out you know
and that is why you can find another mehram aurat in the family to feed. You would have enough time (3-4 maybe 5 years, even more maybe) to find a nursing mother in your family,