Chachoo, I’ll give it some more time
Matsui, see that’s what I mean. Those places don’t work for me sigh
Ok never mind. Thanks for the effort 
Re: Meeting people
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by ShiNoO: *
And what about guys? You 'always' hear that they trust their mum to come up with a larki and that's that.
[/QUOTE]
THats just not true. At least not of the desi guys I know as friends in the US. Otherwise they would all be married to their cousins.
As for the list, since first impressions always matter, tell us what you seek in terms of physical attraction. Short, tall? Thin, fat? fair,dark. Lots of hair, thinning hair.
I dont really think you have any problems meeting guys (and if you did before you dont anylonger since I am guessing half of the GS male population should have PMed you by now!). There are plenty of guys out here in the US, and even more in the UK. The UK would work especially well for you since your sisters there so just go there and go to a couple of desi functions or weddings and you should be all hooked up.
Otherwise come to ISNA this year in the US, and I will hook you up (but only if you invite me to the wedding :)).
thining hair & attraction ? you will put Men's Hair Club out of business..
That is a good list Matsui…I think women should be absolutely clear on what they want out of their spouse…The ‘must haves’ and ‘nice to haves’ makes it easier not only for them but for the candidate as well.
Its not very often that I see a desi girl coming forward and talking about her marriage. I’m glad that you are open for discussion. Good for you. :k:
I find most of the desi girls in their early twenties very unsure of themselves as opposed to the ones in late twenties. I can see the trend here on GS as well. Girls should take a step back and priortize before panicing.
Chachoo, girls haven’t replied cuz we are not used to seeing girls taking initiatives like this. I bet half of them are affraid of gossip it generates.
hmcq, ok I don’t mean EVERY guy meets someone through their mum but that’s what I hear most of the time (better?)
Yes 1st impressions always matter. I’m not going to write down my list of personal preferences cuz that way this will sound like a personal ad. I wasn’t sure if opening this thread would be such a good idea so I really wouldn’t feel comfortable by writing down what/who I’m looking for.
Obviouusly first impressions are important, I have to feel some kind of an attraction at least. Now what my definiton of attractive is, isn’t important for now.
ANd yes I do have a problem with meeting guys, why would you think I opened this thread? 
It’s really not that easy to just go ‘out there’ and hope to get noticed by someone. Yeps I know there are plenty of guys and I’m probably at the wrong place. Like I said my sister is keeping her eyes open (she occasionally send me a shaadi.com ad 
) but I’m still not ‘meeting’ anyone.
Right so when I visit US Í shall keep my eyes open aswell.
Hahaha Fayz, I know I'm in my early twenties and have to think a lot of things over. I'm not panicking just yet but I'd like to know how others deal with it :)
so they can respond to Matsui’s e-date scheme but not to this thread ? and they afraid of gossip 
P.S. Nothing against GS girls.. just trying to rationalize Fayz’s response.
Delay could be because GS grils are not online at this time 
shinoo, before i answer your queries, let me tell you that you are not the only with such issues. Last year my family was hell bent on marrying me or getting me atleast nikaah-o-fied.
I was facing similar issues with the 'click' and 'approach' issue and kept wondering what am i gonna do if somethign like that 'click' happens. Answer i found was that i am grown up enough that if i like someone instantly, i would approach the issue sensibly and as its not a gunaah i would ask politely or tell my mom to approch through indirect channel.
Since then, my social life has gone down drastically and my busy schedules has delayed this thign forward. Meeting people is not difficult, its the click thing and the subsequent matters that require some thought :~)
Hm Shinoo --
Well, here's how I see it. You have to be pretty social and outgoing at times. Go regularly to Muslim/Pakistani get togethers. I guess the idea is "to be seen" (ugh, I can't believe I said that). Also, be willing to meet and correspond with potential rishtas. You don't always have to do the living room meeting. Could go with sister/friends/cousins/whatever to hang out, get food, etc.
Am I helping?
Waise, UN ka kuch nahi hua?
Re: Re: Meeting people
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by hmcq: *
THats just not true. At least not of the desi guys I know as friends in the US. Otherwise they would all be married to their cousins.
[/QUOTE]
Thats funny and true. Not just in US but in Pakistan too. Though its true that they give up after being on a lookout for a while and marry with their mothers choice most of the time.
Woohoo! we have a girl :p
Sahar, I know it's all about being seen. What if people don't like what they see?
UnheiN chorein, there wasn't anything to begin with.
I don;t thnk there is anything wrong wiht marrying your mothers choice in the end. As long as you have exhausted all channels. If you have dated a few folsk on your own, an ddecided that you are not the right person amking this choice for yourself then mama knows best. :k:
Ok forget the physical aspects for now.
You are looking for a desi muslim guy from somewhere else. I would suggest you at least visit the somewhere else you want to move to so that you can meet people there.
Other then that, if you are going to events or functions that are all non desi or not where you would meet your likely fellow then perhaps its time to change your social functions circle. Try the weddings scene in the UK or the "dawats" scene as one of my friends calls it.
The third and perhaps most important thing is be open to people approaching you. A friend was recently approached by a guy who may have just wanted to be friends or may be more. Unfortunately for him, the gal gave him just a hard time for just talking to him that he never bothered to call back and later she was complaining that the guy didnt call. It doesnt mean you have to talk to everyone, just that you have to be open to talking to a guy and not make them feel foolish for approaching you.
Yay! a girl! :queen:
Abi to me ain hoon kaam se.
Those who don’t like what they see need glasses. Anyway, of course, it should quickly go beyond just being seen. You should probably also take a more active role, where you are interacting and working with Muslims around your age, so that you get to know others as well.
UN ko kyoon chorein? Abi to time hai. Who knows what can happen?
Also since girls like to do this all the time (not sure if you fall into the same trap), loose the "I dont wanna marry" or the "I am not looking lines". Altought for some weird reasons, culturally people tend to tuned into saying that, even if they are looking to get settled, it doesnt really help their cause.
Matsui: True, check the market, see what works. And if you are a good finder, then let the Mama do it :).
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Sahar02: *
Those who don't like what they see need glasses.
[/QUOTE]
And very thick and heavy glasses at that too!
I have to say Hmcq has made some good points. Go visit your sis if she lives in the UK and let her take you to some parties or weddings and have her introduce you to some ladies. (I always hated these wedding/dinner parties for precisely this reason!). But if you are saying you are not much into socializing and apparently there is a dearth of young guys in Holland then I would take the 'visit the sis' approach.
Also in the US, they have desi get togethers where young desi guys/gals come together to socialize and find a suitable partner. I'm not sure if something like that goes on in the UK as well.
Thank you, interesting replies :)
hmcq, I don't think I'm not open enough. If someone approaches me and he doesn't seem to be the biggest flirt then yeah I'll talk to him in a decent manner.
ALright so the first step is to visit my sister and socialize!
Shinoo, can you change your sig.. mujhay ajeeb si feeling aarahi hai..pata nahin kay yeh sharam hai ya khisiani hansi.. 
^ 
Better?