Re: Med school & wedding
I got married during 4th year of medical school, but I was studying in Pakistan, so preps were not hard and my family helped a lot, it was more difficult for my husband and his family as they were in US but we did their side of preps and shopping too.
Med school & wedding
I think everyone's kind of answered your question hun, leave the stress and planning to someone else that you can trust and if you've got girls in the family like cousins etc that you can trust, let them handle it! I had a whatsapp group with all my cousins and sister, they would literally send me pics of all sorts and all I had to do was approve or disapprove and they would do the rest! It also made my wedding so much more special and meant so much as it was all so beautiful and grand and was all done for me by my loved ones.
Re: Med school & wedding
:k:
Re: Med school & wedding
I think everyone's kind of answered your question hun, leave the stress and planning to someone else that you can trust and if you've got girls in the family like cousins etc that you can trust, let them handle it! I had a whatsapp group with all my cousins and sister, they would literally send me pics of all sorts and all I had to do was approve or disapprove and they would do the rest! It also made my wedding so much more special and meant so much as it was all so beautiful and grand and was all done for me by my loved ones.
I have no girl cousins and my sister is a full time law student across the country, also. But you're right. I have a few very good friends and my parents have pretty great taste so I can leave it to them.
I think as of now, we're just gonna get our apartment where we have to live for school ready before we leave for CA for the wedding. Get married the weekend after Eid weekend (on Friday) and then have the Walima on Sunday and drive down for school the next day ...tentatively.
Thanks for the help! :) I'm sure I'm gonna be harassing you all for more advice/help...
Re: Med school & wedding
Doing it between 2nd and 3rd year is ideal, you just won't have that much time to plan things yourself. If you are okay with leaving things upto family, you're good. Also- its really stressful, are you sure you want to get married during med school :/
Re: Med school & wedding
Doing it between 2nd and 3rd year is ideal, you just won't have that much time to plan things yourself. If you are okay with leaving things upto family, you're good. Also- its really stressful, are you sure you want to get married during med school :/
I know it's stressful and definitely not the ideal situation but this way we can do our rotations at the same place and have some semblance of a "normal" married life for at least a year or two (what a joke...) before we have to risk being separated for another 4+ for residency.
Re: Med school & wedding
I don't like married. but is sunt-e-nbvi & i like married
Re: Med school & wedding
nm
Re: Med school & wedding
I know it's stressful and definitely not the ideal situation but this way we can do our rotations at the same place and have some semblance of a "normal" married life for at least a year or two (what a joke...) before we have to risk being separated for another 4+ for residency.
I know it'll be a packed week of events but depending on how many functions you guys are having.. I would try to just do it before your rotations start and after Eid. The only thing really you can do is plan way ahead - which you are so that's great. Residency might have its perks for you guys though considering you both are married and can apply that way on your applications through ERAS & cARMS. (I don't know where you live sorry lol).
I got married right before my rotations and after my step 1 result came out and it worked out. Yes it was hectic and we have like mehndi +ladies sangeet one day, mayoun the day before the wedding, etc but my parents and BFF's helped me get through it. I tried to plan as much as I could and then left some in my mom's hands because I trusted her opinion the most. I think it will be hectic but not impossible. I have friends who are getting married now amidst residency and the crazy hours but they find to make it work somehow so don't get stressed. Just inform the guests well in advance and you should be fine. Some events that are just going to be your side, you can do them a bit earlier too if you want. Also - side note - remember to focus on your Step 1 exam too along with all this. :) Good luck planning and try to enjoy it.
Re: Med school & wedding
I know it'll be a packed week of events but depending on how many functions you guys are having.. I would try to just do it before your rotations start and after Eid. The only thing really you can do is plan way ahead - which you are so that's great. Residency might have its perks for you guys though considering you both are married and can apply that way on your applications through ERAS & cARMS. (I don't know where you live sorry lol).
I got married right before my rotations and after my step 1 result came out and it worked out. Yes it was hectic and we have like mehndi +ladies sangeet one day, mayoun the day before the wedding, etc but my parents and BFF's helped me get through it. I tried to plan as much as I could and then left some in my mom's hands because I trusted her opinion the most. I think it will be hectic but not impossible. I have friends who are getting married now amidst residency and the crazy hours but they find to make it work somehow so don't get stressed. Just inform the guests well in advance and you should be fine. Some events that are just going to be your side, you can do them a bit earlier too if you want. Also - side note - remember to focus on your Step 1 exam too along with all this. :) Good luck planning and try to enjoy it.
We wanted to do a mayoun/mehndi/shadi...walima could be whenever since it'll be cross-country anyways. My friends want to throw a bridal shower but i guess if we don't have one it's not the end of the world.
Haha yeah ERAS. It would be helpful especially since we want to couple's match.
We were debating either the weekend immediately after we take our boards / before ramadan or the weekend after eid/before rotations. Both have their pros/cons. I'm hiring a wedding planner so she'll take care of things while I'm studying/ deal with my family.
I just want to make sure we don't mess up our board scores over the wedding.
Re: Med school & wedding
So it seems that you are rather deep into the planning of it all and good for you. Just to give examples of what I have seen people in my own circle of family friends do, who have been in the same boat as you, is to have the nikah early so that they would at least be married, Then they have had a pretty awesome time at med school going on holiday with their husband/wife during the vacations and living with them and generally reaping the benefits of married life.
THEN, when they have had time to sort out their life and a suitable length of time has presented itself, perhaps a year or even 2 later, they have have organised all the dholkis, mendhi, mayoun, shaadi, walima, the whole shebang, at their leisure.
I don't know if you would consider this a viable option, you might think it is stupid to have such a huge time elapse between nikah and the other events, but it has worked well for those of my friends who have wanted to be married early AND have a kicka** wedding.
Good luck either way, and I'm sure everything will be forgotten concerning the wedding once you settle into married life :)
Med school & wedding
I wouldn't do it because of boards. Your mind would be somewhere else and it might effect your score. But of it doesn't bother you then it's fine.
Ideal time is 4th year or end of 1st year
Re: Med school & wedding
So it seems that you are rather deep into the planning of it all and good for you. Just to give examples of what I have seen people in my own circle of family friends do, who have been in the same boat as you, is to have the nikah early so that they would at least be married, Then they have had a pretty awesome time at med school going on holiday with their husband/wife during the vacations and living with them and generally reaping the benefits of married life.
THEN, when they have had time to sort out their life and a suitable length of time has presented itself, perhaps a year or even 2 later, they have have organised all the dholkis, mendhi, mayoun, shaadi, walima, the whole shebang, at their leisure.
I don't know if you would consider this a viable option, you might think it is stupid to have such a huge time elapse between nikah and the other events, but it has worked well for those of my friends who have wanted to be married early AND have a kicka** wedding.
Good luck either way, and I'm sure everything will be forgotten concerning the wedding once you settle into married life :)
My family is really ANTI-having a nikkah without rukhsati and they definitely ascribe to the old school / incorrect idea that people that are nikkahfied can't hang out with each other until the rukhsati. Unfortunately, if we went that route, we'd still be unable to do anything--no vacays, no trips together, etc--and if we DID do that, then it'd have to be hidden from everyone as if we were teenagers doing something wrong. We've also had badddd experiences in the family with nikkah w/o rukhsati not working out so I think my parents are also apprehensive about that.
I'm kinda (read: VERY) type A and I like having things organized/a plan. It's frustrating that there's so many unknown variables/things out of my control with this so I'm just trying to plan it out so I'm not caught by surprise.
Re: Med school & wedding
We wanted to do a mayoun/mehndi/shadi...walima could be whenever since it'll be cross-country anyways. My friends want to throw a bridal shower but i guess if we don't have one it's not the end of the world.
Haha yeah ERAS. It would be helpful especially since we want to couple's match.
We were debating either the weekend immediately after we take our boards / before ramadan or the weekend after eid/before rotations. Both have their pros/cons. I'm hiring a wedding planner so she'll take care of things while I'm studying/ deal with my family.
I just want to make sure we don't mess up our board scores over the wedding.
I would plan everything up until the final few months before the wedding. Get the main details sorted out and the weekend after the boards seems logical. You'll be happy the exam is over and done with and you guys can relax and have fun. It can work, I think the best course of action would just be sort out your stuff before the hardcore studying begins because then you don't want to get distracted with wedding prep and studying for the Step. I think that's the only hard thing I found personally. But what I had done was just did my bit and helped my hubby get his stuff in order and everyone sort of handled the rest like food, venue decor, etc. I just made sure we had our clothes sorted out, the makeup, cake and stuff like that. Things that I know I wanted to choose and not leave to people was what I handled and then left the rest of the stuff to my mom and MIL. You should be fine though, it's not impossible and I'm sure you guys will get the couples match :D
Try to enjoy it as well, as I found with my own wedding that the time just flew so fast.
Re: Med school & wedding
I would plan everything up until the final few months before the wedding. Get the main details sorted out and the weekend after the boards seems logical. You'll be happy the exam is over and done with and you guys can relax and have fun. It can work, I think the best course of action would just be sort out your stuff before the hardcore studying begins because then you don't want to get distracted with wedding prep and studying for the Step. I think that's the only hard thing I found personally. But what I had done was just did my bit and helped my hubby get his stuff in order and everyone sort of handled the rest like food, venue decor, etc. I just made sure we had our clothes sorted out, the makeup, cake and stuff like that. Things that I know I wanted to choose and not leave to people was what I handled and then left the rest of the stuff to my mom and MIL. You should be fine though, it's not impossible and I'm sure you guys will get the couples match :D
Try to enjoy it as well, as I found with my own wedding that the time just flew so fast.
Yeah my plan iA is to go to Pak in Dec and get clothes/shopping done. I'm gonna hit the books hard for boards in Jan when I get back. From Jan - after my boards in June, I'm gonna leave the details to my parents/wedding planner. I already know who I want to book for makeup I think, cake (my parents can handle), even venues I can leave upto them since they're paying (I have a list of places I like but they're gonna have to look at stuff themselves). I guess it's a blessing and a curse that I don't live anywhere remotely close to my parents for school; it's an 6 hour flight so I'm gonna be mostly removed from the planning minus phone calls/sending pics/etc.
The perk with this way is that we can do a walima and a honeymoon and be rested by the time rotations start vs the other option which would leave me exhausted and tired for the first day of rotations.
Re: Med school & wedding
GS seems filled with doctors, and more than one have wedding/ pre marriage drama! Jokes aside, hope you get it all solved. Waiting for your story and pics of the final result ( no, not the exam, best of luck with that too).
Re: Med school & wedding
Yeah my plan iA is to go to Pak in Dec and get clothes/shopping done. I'm gonna hit the books hard for boards in Jan when I get back. From Jan - after my boards in June, I'm gonna leave the details to my parents/wedding planner. I already know who I want to book for makeup I think, cake (my parents can handle), even venues I can leave upto them since they're paying (I have a list of places I like but they're gonna have to look at stuff themselves). I guess it's a blessing and a curse that I don't live anywhere remotely close to my parents for school; it's an 6 hour flight so I'm gonna be mostly removed from the planning minus phone calls/sending pics/etc.
The perk with this way is that we can do a walima and a honeymoon and be rested by the time rotations start vs the other option which would leave me exhausted and tired for the first day of rotations.
Ya that's basically what I did too. I went to India during Christmas holidays with my mom and got all my wedding shopping done from there. It'll be fine, I think you have more than enough time to get everything figured out. We had to hold off on our honeymoon for a few months because we had no time after the walima and my rotations were starting. Do whatever works for you both as you guys are in the same career, so your BF will get it :).
Re: Med school & wedding
Do a simple nikkah now just family members and then after exams etc when you actually have time do the full mehnfi/wedding/walima/honeymoon.
Loads of people do it like that these days.
Re: Med school & wedding
Do a simple nikkah now just family members and then after exams etc when you actually have time do the full mehnfi/wedding/walima/honeymoon. Loads of people do it like that these days.
we won't have time till 2017 in May...and even then we'll have 2 weeks because of graduation, ramadan, and residency. :/
Re: Med school & wedding
lol.... If I were you, I'd get married on a weekend and move on with my life with my husband. Do whatever events you can during that week, rest focus on being with your husband and starting a new life together.
All the best!