Re: Me And My Husband
Good points from RaatkiRani..but this I think this type of thinking is fading away in the youths.
Bhabi, jeg er lige her. Jeg synes det er syndt at din mand ikke har din støtte. Han er jo den eneste søn og er jo nødt til at være der for sin mor, som ikke længere har en mand. Jeg håber I finder ud af det :)
Re: Me And My Husband
Nope, I was questioning the poster who suggested that you do. There are two aspects to the real solution, you need to take a stand, and you need to communicate and have an understanding with your husband to arrive at a solution which is agreeable to the both of you. It may mean some give and take and may nto be at 100% liking for both of you, but rather than having a ratio of 100%:0% of satisfaction with th situation, even if you are at 75%:65% its an improvement.
Re: Me And My Husband
good points? to go and become someone’s pet and follow everything they ask … give up your own self and needs,desires, perspectives and likes/dislikes to appease someone who is unreasonable?
There is a reason that this type of thinking is fading away in youth, life is too short, and you can not spend the best years of your life living on someone elses terms. You have to live life by your terms and while it means compromises and give and take, it does not mean you give up everything to please one person.
It sounds good, oh such sacrificing person, but its hard, it can have severe mental and emotional consequnces, it erases who a person is, it has horrendous impact on someone’s self esteem and self worth..
we are sugegsting someone to willingly go and start a stockholm syndrome of her own?
Re: Me And My Husband
^ ICAM. This notion of sacrificing oneself for the sake of the family is one of the most destructive aspects of desi culture. I wouldn't stay away for too long, because you know the damage that a malicious saas's tongue can do, but you do need to discuss rationally with your husband the reasons that you want to leave. BTW, I would think of a better reason than "I'm bored in Pakistan" or "Your mom is a pain". Try something along the lines of "our children's future"....
If your husband loves you, then he won't want to see you unhappy either.
Re: Me And My Husband
No, certainly not.
But if Bhabi can afford it and manage it, at least go back for a little while so you can talk to each other face to face (or he should come to the UK).
Re: Me And My Husband
There is a reason that this type of thinking is fading away in youth, life is too short, and you can not spend the best years of your life living on someone elses terms. You have to live life by your terms and while it means compromises and give and take, it does not mean you give up everything to please one person.
It sounds good, oh such sacrificing person, but its hard, it can have severe mental and emotional consequnces, it erases who a person is, it has horrendous impact on someone's self esteem and self worth..
we are sugegsting someone to willingly go and start a stockholm syndrome of her own?
thats called "domestic abuse" a darkest side of desi culture.
Re: Me And My Husband
But if Bhabi can afford it and manage it, at least go back for a little while so you can talk to each other face to face (or he should come to the UK).
Chanda I will go to pak and then talk with him , i dont have any problem with him he si kind and soft person, bu it is very hard for me to talk with mother in law i know woh aisa kuch nahi kare ghi jis se mai khush ho apne miyaan ke saath she is like kabab mai hadi ...