What would you do if a friend of yours with her daughter visits you and sees your books and wants to borrow a book [as she enteres the living room she starts to say ’ yeh wali book to main zaroor le kar jaaon gi '] and after you give her that book her daughter also wants to borrow an expensive and favourite book from your children’s bookshelve. Your friend instead of telling her daughter that she can’t take that book with her, asks you ’ kya meri beti yeh book borrow ker lay "?
as long as she gives it back quickly & doesnt make a habit of 'borrowing' id be ok with it..but i dont like people like that becos they come across inconsiderate & annoying!
forgot to say that it also depends who this friend is..if its someone close then i wouldnt think twice but if its someone ur not reli tight with and u hardly see its annoying.. il get lost now lol x
write her the name of the book on a piece of paper and tell her to buy it as this is your daughters favorite book and you dont want her to get upset… or better tell the friend’s daughter with a smile, when its your birthday i will get u the same on, till then read the other one that you already borrowed. Kids have to learn the limits, if their parents cannot teach them, then better you teach them.
I used to face this problem very often, not anymore. Why I say it is a problem because people borrow books and do not return them. Not all most of them. I have solved this problem I have moved my library to my own bed room , kids library is in the car garage. The point being move the books to a place whereever it is convenient for you but not visible to everybody. I found out that living room is not the best place to keep your books.
If your books are already not visible to people and these books were in the living room because you were reading them, then some people have given you good suggestions above to deal with the issue.
hareem, just let her borrow ur whole library and make her write on paper that she borrowed from u and sign it.. that way on she will be accountable! Allah knows best.
The books I have for children are mostly for homeschooling, rare, very expensive classics and my children don't get expensive toys even they themselves prefer to get a book as a treat rather than a toy.
That friend of mine told me that she doesn't buy books because they are expensive but i've seen computer games, tv and toys in her house ], she says her children get books from their school to read and sometimes she goes to library, so she doesn't like spending money on books [that's her choice].
Now when she came with her daughter, I gave a small book as a gift to her daughter before she asked me for another book.[expensive one].
I couldn't say yes to my friend [she's not a close friend]. I myself wouldn't let my children to keep an eye on other people's possessions.
I felt kinda sad as whenever she comes she gives me lectures about Taqwa and speacially fatwas about plucking and shaping the eye brows but when she came last time she let her son steal little toy cars, she knew that he got cars in his pocket but she didn't give them back, my husband sent me to her house to ask for the cars [my hubby wasn't worried about the cars but he wanted me to tell my friend that she's teaching her son to be a thief], I went to her house but she got very annoyed.
It's very easy to teach people something on forums but in real life it's very hard as you have to do it more wisely and without making them offended.
Hareem.....often people have asked me to borrow things that I value. I always end up letting them borrow it(despite my being reluctant) in hopes that it will be returned to me immediately in the same condition it was given.....unless of course it was something that is irreplacable.
Books (most books) are replacable....so I would suggest that you let her borrow it. Tell her how important the books are to you and how you would like it to be returned as soon as she is done with it in the same condition it was given. Tell her that you normally dont allow people to borrow books but this time you are making an exception. If after a couple of weeks the books are not returned....call her and ask for it back.
otherwise...Aqal-less gave good advice as well. you can tell her that she is more then welcome to come over your house and read the books since you can not let anyone borrow them as this time.
If that happens with me then I usually let them have it but always say, could you please return it in a week or so because this is a book I need to refer to for a project or whatever.
Seriously? her son stole things from your son and instead of being ashamed she actually got annoyed at you? What kind of two-faced kameeni aurat is she? i think you should B-slap her (verbally or physically is up to U) and let her know what a cow she is.
