Re: Marrying your cousin
Calling someone bhai doesn't make them your bhai! What's halal is halal. Would I marry one? No. But there's nothing weird about anyone else who does. People drink, have premarital sex, do plenty of haram things which we're not supposed to diss because hey it isn't making a difference to anyone else - neither are cousin marriages.
Re: Marrying your cousin
errr...no.
When I said 'not close' I meant technically in terms of Islam..
A lot of the same ppl who have a go at others for having friends of the opposite sex see no problem in being friends with their own cousins of the opposite sex..
In religious terms there is **no **difference. They are all non-mehrams and there aren't any allowances for being 'extended family'..
Re: Marrying your cousin
Obviously It is allowed in Islam so I'm not creeped out by it. I have quite a few cousin marriages in my family, my parents being a good example however I can never imagine nor do I want to see my cousins being my spouse.
Re: Marrying your cousin
I don't find it gross or see it as morally wrong or anything, but I wouldn't do it myself.
Calling someone bhai doesn't make them your bhai! What's halal is halal. Would I marry one? No. But there's nothing weird about anyone else who does. People drink, have premarital sex, do plenty of haram things which we're not supposed to diss because hey it isn't making a difference to anyone else - neither are cousin marriages.
exactly. it is not as bad as people make it out be. [esp here] It's not something I want. It should also not be done excessively and be seen as the only means of marriage. Some people are obsessed with the idea and only do "khandan mai shaadi" That bothers me.
I'm not even "opposed" to it because I think it's gross or whatever, I just hate the drama, complications, and issues that come with marriage in your family. Also, I dont like any of my cousins. ; )
But if two people meet and happen to be cousins and want to spend their lives together. then good for them. I just don't like the elders fixing up marriages of young girls with their uncle-jee cousins, as long as they can say "khandan ka to hai na".
Re: Marrying your cousin
I think** most** cousin marriages happen where the cousins weren't raised in the same household/country, so thus they weren't too close growing up.
Not in Pakistan. It's common to see marriages between cousins who were like siblings in childhood and I find it utterly disgusting.
Re: Marrying your cousin
It is awkward to me. If parent's are so keen on cousin marriages for their children, then they shouldn't have them call their male cousins bhai. If it's their way of instituting boundaries in their childrens' mind as they are growing up and playing/interacting together, then why not be fully Islamic about it and limit contact between cousins.
But nah, the latter becomes conveniently inconvenient.
All that said, I see no problem in cousins marrying each other whether Muslims or not. To each his own as long as no one is getting harmed.
Re: Marrying your cousin
When I said 'not close' I meant technically in terms of Islam..
A lot of the same ppl who have a go at others for having friends of the opposite sex see no problem in being friends with their own cousins of the opposite sex..
In religious terms there is **no **difference. They are all non-mehrams and there aren't any allowances for being 'extended family'..
But we were talking about cousins may be same as a bro or sis for some, right? When you spend your childhood with your cousins (almost same age as you or few years older) you naturally start to treat them like your siblings.
Re: Marrying your cousin
It's not something I would be comfortable with myself but if the bride and groom are happy then that's fine.
Re: Marrying your cousin
Calling someone bhai doesn't make them your bhai! What's halal is halal. Would I marry one? No. But there's nothing weird about anyone else who does. People drink, have premarital sex, do plenty of haram things which we're not supposed to diss because hey it isn't making a difference to anyone else - neither are cousin marriages.
Um no where did I say that it shouldn't be done or was I dissing the concept. I said that **I **find it weird because there hasn't been any such marriages in my family and we look to our cousins as brothers and sisters.
You don't believe in it for similar reasons I assume, does it mean you are dissing the concept or judging the people who do it? I think not, so no need to insinuate that I was being judgmental or inflammatory towards people who do.
Also, I think many people do agree with me that it is weird to marry a cousin who you grew up in the same house with.
Re: Marrying your cousin
^ My post wasn't even targeted at you, I was just sayin'. I find it weird too hence why I wouldn't marry my cousin.
Re: Marrying your cousin
**cousins ke beech shaadii karne meN bas ek hii nuqsaan/Khatra hai aur vo yeh k:
jaise jaise umr donoN kii baRhtii jaatii hai
vaise vaise unkii shakleN miltii jaatii haiN****
yeh she’r abhii abhii likhaa hai :D**
Re: Marrying your cousin
My post wasn't even targeted at you
I don't believe you but ok whatever.
Re: Marrying your cousin
If it's a cousin I lived in the same house and grew up with like a sibling then it would be awkward. Otherwise, I have no issues with marrying a cousin.
Re: Marrying your cousin
**it's one's choice who he/she marries but as a Muslim one must NOT make it sort of Haraam upon themselves because Allah has made this rishta Halaal. in Qur'aan, we have been warned NOT to make HALAAL things HARAAM and Haraam things Halaal because Allah has already decided it for you.
i'm saying this because i've heard many people say i can't marry my cousin, he is LIKE brother to me. well, he is NOT a brother!**
Very well said and its very common in our society and have some advantages too. You know the family, environment (that is very much like yours) and adjustment issues are less than in marriages outside family. You know 'Apna maaray ga bhi to chaon main rake ga'!
The two most retarded posts in this entire thread.
If marrying a person who you used to call baji or bhai was such a big deal, I'm sure Allah swt would've made it haraam.
Allah's made divorce halal too, but he's made it clear that that is the most disliked of all the things He's made halal for us.
Just because it's allowed, doesn't mean you should DEFINITELY do it. It's allowed because in certain circumstances, family pulls through for you. If you have a retarded child, it's better to marry that child into the family because bahar kay kisi banday nay aa kar rishta nahin poochna. However, there is no guarantee that this rishta would be better than marrying outside the family.
Allah's also said that "We have ...] made you into nations and tribes that you may know one another." Just goes to show you, it's preferred by God Almighty Himself to go forth and marry into other families, not in your own family specifically.
Re: Marrying your cousin
I don't believe you but ok whatever.
lol what?
Why would I try to hide it if I actually was talking to you? Have I never gotten into arguments in the past? Not just with you but with plenty others. I wouldn't hesitate to do so again and I need not lie to cover up anything I say.
The diss part was referring not to you but to another thread we had in life1 a few weeks ago - the premarital sex thread.
Re: Marrying your cousin
lol what?
Why would I try to hide it if I actually was talking to you? Have I never gotten into arguments in the past? Not just with you but with plenty others. I wouldn't hesitate to do so again and I need not lie to cover up anything I say.
The diss part was referring not to you but to another thread we had in life1 a few weeks ago - the premarital sex thread.
Alright. I guess it's just your condescending attitude in general that rubbed me the wrong way.
Re: Marrying your cousin
^ Yeah, I guess. Now you can sleep well.
Re: Marrying your cousin
I think cousin marriage is very unhealthy. its simply incest in my opinion. secondly, how unhealthy is it to have your aunt or uncle as inlaws?? imagine getting divorced and the whole freakin khandaan goes to war. i have seen it happen to a friend who got married to his cousin, it didnt work out and when they got divorced the family was totally divided. some uncles and aunts were on his side, some on the other side, the poor grandparents were torn. I just dont see WHY anyone would marry their cousin, there is plenty of ppl in the world to marry.
Re: Marrying your cousin
I'm sure if marrying your sibling was halal too many families would do it.
hey at least they won't be marrying out of caste!
Re: Marrying your cousin
Those who like it and think it is OK can do it.
Don't see anything wrong in it.
It is allowed. No matter anyone says about it.
There is absolutely no value of , anyone calling bhai or behan before marriage if marriage is still allowed between the two.
Behan or bhai are terms used for respect among cousins and in general conversation.
Let's just focus on thing to bash which are NOT allowed, shall we? ;)