Perhaps there is not ill intent in the fun that is being poked. Sometimes jokes are made without any bad intent.
I don’t mean to be argumentative and ask for the sake of intelligent discussion–when you say you are making fun of the dhula, of what exactly are you making fun?
There was a time when I did not know much about transgendered folks and have learned more about through college courses and actually meeting transgendered folks. To share what I know with others who have not come across the same information:
At time of fetus development certain processes occur that define the sex and gender of the fetus. Sex refers to the physical identity (sexual anatomy) and gender refers to the mental identity (with which sex one identifies psychologically). In some cases, this process does not proceed as it should and the sex and gender are not clearly defined, thus creating an ambiguous result. Indeed it is a condition with which people are born, and it is not a choice.
There was a famous experiment done by doctors on a pair of twins where they tried to raise a transgendered boy as a girl, trying to prove that gender is taught by upbringing. However, their experiment and hypothesis failed. The child had a male gender (psychological identity) which led to problems due to a conflict between the sex (physical identity) and gender (psychological identity).
This is one difficulty that TG folks face: a conflict between the psychological identity, and the body and upbringing one is given. This confusion about identity creates psychological distress. The other difficulty is lack of acceptance, mocking, and persecution by a world that might not understand the situation. I have come to develop sympathy for them. I have come to learn that these two together create much distress, sometimes leading to suicidal thoughts.
There are different reasons why a man might crossdress. One possible reason is the transgender issue–psychologically the person feels to be a woman and feels to be in the wrong body. It is for this reason some people undergo the process to change the sex.
Thus, I am not sure we can say the dhulan is simply a crossdresser and not one who is transgendered.
Fair enough. Let’s hear you out.
Sure, it is a shadi that is unusual. It is unusual because most of the population is not transgendered and I imagine transgendered people have trouble finding willing partners.
When you say it’s not about the person, it’s about the act, I assume you mean why it is mock worthy. But does mocking the situation (that a man is marrying a transgendered man who wants to be a woman) not a result of being transgendered?
Should a transgendered person not be allowed to get married and have a partner? I think everyone wants to have a companion.
I think the objections you see are from those who feel empathy that this couple, regardless of whether they were trying to marry (as alleged) or not (as claimed by them), has been arrested (alongside their guests) and made a spectacle. It is a matter of persecution of a minority who was born that way. And so it is a matter of civil rights.