Hey everyone,
So what do you guys think/feel about people who were raised here nad get married to people abroad…like India or Pakistan..AKA fobs…I mean the differences are quite a few and I just wanted to know stories or cases where it was a success or failure..
Re: Marrying someone raised in a different country
ok i am offended..
"India or Pakistan..AKA fobs" what do u mean by tht?
Re: Marrying someone raised in a different country
i want to say sooo much to you right now, but i wont
cuz i want to know first if u typed tht by mistake..or if u really meant tht
Re: Marrying someone raised in a different country
Hey... fobs... that's not a nice term... and the success rate depends on the individuals themselves, their willingness to compromise... teach each other.. and patience.... the circumstances are not the same for everyone... some succeed, others fail... just because you're raised in a diff. country does not mean that its impossible to make it work!
Re: Marrying someone raised in a different country
Please don't tell me that you are going ahead with that guy...
Aaana, she means guys from Pak and India who wear tight jeans, foby shirts which are mostly some funny check prints, they act strange (it can't be explained in words, you have to witness it), don't wear deodorant, etc. Ofcourse all guys in Pakistan are not that type but sadly forced marriages are popular with this breed of desis from back home.
Desigirl, I am not comfortable with this kind. I will do everything to keep myself away from marrying this kind of guy. I think for me it too much of a cultural difference.
Re: Marrying someone raised in a different country
The kind you mentioned Lusi.. yeah I advise everyone to stay away from... somehow their mentality just never matches with ours... and trust me.. speaking from experience... alot of them are SICK. Make sure if you are marrying from back home, he is educated... open-minded... preferably goes to an American school or whatever.... it'll be easier for him to assimilate to the life here...and you wont have to feel embarassed as many girls do having to walk around with someone completely oblivious to the mannerisms of this country.
Re: Marrying someone raised in a different country
yeah i agree^
if a guy/girl marries someone from india/pakistan/etc with a negative mentality thinking their partners gonna be a worthless "FOB" then it obviously wont work out! it definitly depends on the person and their willingness to work things out
i got rishtas from pakistan and my parents said no because the guys were not really well educated..they had only done their BA or something..which is equivalent to an american Associates degree..so that wasnt good. However, they owned factories and were quite well off.
but thats not what i want in my husband! to just go check up on the factory and come home. im a workaholic and im aiming for my masters degree inshAllah so theres no way id move to pakistan to be lazy. it is true that i'd live a very comfortable life but i think i would've gotten sick of it after a while.
Re: Marrying someone raised in a different country
[quote="pinklove, post:11, topic:174118"]
yeah i agree^
if a guy/girl marries someone from india/pakistan/etc with a negative mentality thinking their partners gonna be a worthless "FOB" then it obviously wont work out! it definitly depends on the person and their willingness to work things out
thanks
i wanted to say tht but didnt know how to come out and say it..
Re: Marrying someone raised in a different country
We don’t purposely create this mentality; it is how they present themselves. And if we find there is too much of a cultural difference for us to handle then it is our right to not marry them. It is just sad that sometimes parents don't see that and along with relatives force their daughters or let me say force their children marrying with guys and girls they are not compatible.
Re: Marrying someone raised in a different country
yeah^ i know! they think oh beta..just because u were raised abroad doesnt mean you wont be able to get along with someone from the motherland.
sure ill get along with them..but we wont necessarily be on the same page if we're married!
Re: Marrying someone raised in a different country
Hey everyone,
So what do you guys think/feel about people who were raised here nad get married to people abroad...like India or Pakistan..AKA fobs...I mean the differences are quite a few and I just wanted to know stories or cases where it was a success or failure..
can never work, totally different values and outlook on life, and mentality. might be excpetions but theyre rare
Re: Marrying someone raised in a different country
Depends on personality. I have yet to see a desi family living overseas who did not ponder about getting the girl/boy from Pakistan. They do. Reasons range from being close to family, culture and values.
Re: Marrying someone raised in a different country
FOB :) such a manifestly eye-catching term innit ?
I bet some one 's parents were FOB too when they arrived in this country , were they not ?
Re: Marrying someone raised in a different country
Sweet! Now why are you bringing parents in? Parents are married and supposedly happy with each other and with whatever lifestyle they have chose for themselves. Using parents as a justification to marry a fob with whom you have heck a lot of cultural difference and can't adjust with is completely wrong.
Re: Marrying someone raised in a different country
Well my objection was a cherry pie . Discussing people using such repulsive terminology is detestable and scurvy.
If you don’t wana marry some one for what so ever reasons just don’t do it but for heaven sake stop looking low at people .
Such a reprehensible act it is !
Re: Marrying someone raised in a different country
Lusi I whole heartedly agree with you, GOD how miserable our lives are living with these FOBby parents, paindu lot saray ke saray, who wants a FOB as a husband too. Shadi ka kya faida if aik paindu se uth ke doosray paindu ke ghar jana paRay tou.
haiN? kya?
Re: Marrying someone raised in a different country
I beg to differ.
Parents and spouses are two entirely different catogeries
As some1 mentioned....something about a deodrant and fobs...
It wouldn't matter if your parents dont use it ...but your patner??
I know it's a silly example and I know it's wrong to address people as FOBS
but it's also silly to place parents and partners on the same level
Re: Marrying someone raised in a different country
I don’t know why NOT marrying a so-called “FOB” should offend anyone…but if ur objecting to the term FOB then yes, its not a nice term :no:
Re: Marrying someone raised in a different country
sorry guys i guess the term FOB offended people..let's just say the "newcomers from abroad" that sounds nicer...
see i used to think the deodorant, walking funny, wearing tight pants stuff wasn't a big deal but when i was forced to get stuck with one then i saw how bad it could be..growing up here and thinking differently i guess you can say it was sort of embarassing for me to walk with him..same goes for his accent..yes true i am not open minded and things like that shouldn't bother me but accent=communication problem=compatibility problems which he never saw for some reason..so in the end these small things do matter...they are not the ones to blame at all...is it really their fault? Of course not. But I strongly advise girls from here who are going back home to get married to really understand themselves and if they can handle things like this.
When he wouldn't wear deodorant, the smell was unbearable. I bought him some but I guess he wasn't used to wearing it so he only used it like once or twice. My parents didn't understand that and stiill don't. They are still insisting on me to marry him. I pray Allah (SWT) give me strength to keep fighting and to make everything better for me and girls in similar situations like mines.
Re: Marrying someone raised in a different country
it all depends on the person really, i have seen some really good examples as well as some really bad ones.