What are your views on that?
I thought of this topic cuz i recently met someone who married at 18 and now at 19 she has a two month old son. I was depressed to see her because she seemed to be burdened with too much at such a young age. I think by this age you are not mature enough to take on another living person’s responsibility or to go through so many changes in your life.
I don’t know i could be wrong, what do you guys think?
Re: Marrying at a young age!
I think it all depends on the person. Some girls can be very mature, even more mature than girls marrying at a later age. Apart from that, if you really need to take responsibility of something you think of ways to do so and work with what you got.
Re: Marrying at a young age!
^ I think that's well said. However i do believe most people at that age are not mature enough to marry however then i wonder why would Allah recommend that people get married at an early age if it is gonna be difficult to manage. So this point really makes me think because i believe Islam is a very logical religion and if it says something there must be a reason, a logic to it. I will look into that 2morow InshaAllah and meanwhile i had like all of you to share your views on the same.
Re: Marrying at a young age!
hmm 18 thats too much early ...too much
Re: Marrying at a young age!
The reason why Allah recommended us to marry early is because at that age your hormones get going on. To prevent us from choosing the haraam way of dealing with our emotions and to prevent things such as unwanted pregnancies etc. marriage is a halaal channel. Responsibility, once again I stick with what I said earlier. It also has a lot to do with how you are raised. Some of our grandmothers were married at a very early age and they could handle everything in the house with 12 kids. Whereas now, girls have other priorities such as education and they choose to face the music when the time gets there. My two cents.
Depends on the person, as chilly said. I've seen many girls so desperate to get married at 18 yrs of age. In fact, whenever I go to Pakistan, the favourite topic among the girlies is their shaadi!
Re: Marrying at a young age!
Yup...when I was that age and even till I was 10 years older...from 18 till 28 or 30...I had SO much enery and passion for life! Due to personal circumstance, my energies were directed tomy career and it sizzled. After that is when I met and married my prince and had my lovely boys. I have to say thatI do indeed feel the effects of aging. I get SO tired. I dont have the patience or the energy that I had in my 20s or early 30s. It could not have been any other way for us...but I so wish sometimes that I had the energy of thse younger days sometimes.
Re: Marrying at a young age!
I think its sad too, because I don't think marriage is the ultimate goal for a woman, just like it isn't the ultimate goal for a man. It is simply a responsibility and a blessing to have. It is a way to have a family.
But it really shouldn't be your only goal in life. I've seen women just stop trying for any goals after marriage, which is sad. Then they become out of shape, depressed, overburdened and overstressed with household duties, lose track of friends, etc. Because they stop fitting in time for other things that also matter.
This doesn't happen with every marriage. Just marriages where the girl felt this was her only dream in life. Well, once you achieve that g*****ose Bollywood wedding in that fantastic dress...now what?
Re: Marrying at a young age!
Why is the word g*****ose censored here?? It's not even a cuss word.
But it really shouldn't be your only goal in life. I've seen women just stop trying for any goals after marriage, which is sad. Then they become out of shape, depressed, overburdened and overstressed with household duties, lose track of friends, etc. Because they stop fitting in time for other things that also matter.
Agree with that.
A woman should be able to stand on her two feet even after marriage. If that means carrying on your education and completing it, do so. Your husband might be the one responsible for taking care of you, but that doesn't mean you can't earn and spend your money. Personally I wouldn't want to ask my husband for money every other day.
Re: Marrying at a young age!
I got married when I was 19...my husband (was 22) and I were both going through university at the time. Now 4 years later it was one of the best decisions I made, we both continued our education and supported each other (both emotionally and financially), and we understood that kids were not right for us at that time and now that I am finishing med school we still will wait for kids until we both feel it to be the right decision
Marrying young depends on the person but I agree with PCG and Chilly Milly that if women are to marry young they need to have a supporting husband who understands and supports their ambitions.
Re: Marrying at a young age!
Thank goodness I married a man who views marriage as a partnership. I do as much or more work than he does - not that I mean to compare stress levels or amounts of work etc but heck. My job is 24 by 7 by 365 and he GETS that. He gives me a break when I need it. He knows that I would be able to earn and take care of our family if something should happen to him. Meantime, he works his tail off and does whatever he can to give me a break when I need it.
When I see these threads about who is shorter than who, who earns more to give the desired lifestyle...I just wanna strangle someone. Those things are so very trivial when it comes to living a happy life together in this crazy world.
As far as marrying young...HOW I wish I was 18 when I married my guy. BUT marriage comes with responsibilities that most 18 year olds are not able to be successful at. Some are. Like my SIL who is my idol and married at 16!!! As far as I'm concerned, she is better than Martha Stewart. She ENOYS what she does, she does it beyond compare and is happy to do it. She's a rare breed tho.
Re: Marrying at a young age!
Every1 has there own opinions...i got married at 20 (my hubby cudnt wait to marry me) had my 1st child at 21 i wud never have had it any other way..im soo happy i got married young..its now cumin on to 13 years ive been married and 4 kids in total my eldest child is nearly 12 years old shes even taller than me ppl dont believe me when i tell them she is my daughter i luv being a young mom..i get to still do all the girly things i did with my friends with my daughter now....
Re: Marrying at a young age!
It all depends upon finding a right spouse. If your husband/wife is supportive and kind with you then even marrying as young as 18 won't be a problem and can be a wonderful experience.
If I speak for myself at 18 I was too naive & wanted to study further. Never in my life I thought of becoming financially dependant on anyone. But that's me , someone who does not think that way is not wrong because everyone has his/her perception & idea of living life. For some marrying at the age of 18 can be an achievement and a dream come true.
If we see generation of our grand parents not even our grand mothers but also grand fathers married as young as 18 -20. My own dadi got married at the age of 15 . In those time it was common.
Re: Marrying at a young age!
After 18 she is legally mature to make her own decisions and if she wants be a mom then why not !!
One shouldn't take marriage as end of life . You can develop your career after that too . I think the only excuse is being lazy , as I see so many women coming to class and running a family .
Re: Marrying at a young age!
thank you all for your views, really appreciate your time.
@ naaman- i never said she did wrong but i just didnt feel she was ready for it and she herself expressed that thru all that she was saying.
i'll post more on this subject later as i think everyone gave very interesting replies but rite now i have entered my neeno land lol. so laters.
Re: Marrying at a young age!
18 isn’t that early really i would have thought it the best time for shadee…
But then i’m not exactly norman am i 
Re: Marrying at a young age!
gosh, iam getting married at the age of 25 and I think that's way too young :S
18!! my goodness.... don't think I was mature at all at that age.
Re: Marrying at a young age!
although 18 isnt really the age to get married in most of the cases but sometimes due to circumstances it happens but marriage should not mean end of life for a youngster. I have met girls who actually got married when they just did 12th grade and they went on to finish their MBAS and MS to become true professional. (one actually went on to become a DR)
If SHE is happy, YOU dont need to feel depressed. All that matters where rubber meet the road is if she is happy or not
Re: Marrying at a young age!
in my khandan all of the gurls got married at the age of 18 or 19...i'm the only one gurl whoz not married yet..cuz i wanted 2 complete my education..but sab ki nazar mai i'm too old and they say it on my face that i should get married now..:S