Re: Marrying a younger girl?
I like this pendo guy :k:
Re: Marrying a younger girl?
So she doesn’t have a brain I suppose, because obviously it is being assumed by the parents that she will not have any preferences in the next 7 to 8 years of her life.
LOL, it’s funny isn’t it? The little girl is 11-years-old. In her 11 years…the parents must have noticed that she already has certain preferences. Maybe she prefers one parent more than the other. Maybe she prefers one food over the other. Perhaps she also has preferences for TV shows and toys and games or a particular color. In the next 7-8 years of her life…she’ll have preferences for fashion…hobbies…music…relatives…etc etc. These things are not OBLIVIOUS to parents. You’ll often hear parents telling others…“Oh my child prefers roti to chawal.” “Oh my child doesn’t like meat.” …“Oh my child loves this particular teacher.” “Oh my child likes studying History over science.”
BUT…STRANGELY…it’s hard for parents to FATHOM that their son/daughter could actually have a preference when it comes to their future spouse.
Re: Marrying a younger girl?
^ Redvelvet i assume you know that Girls in islam aren't suppose to switch between Men as they would switch between their clothes/food/etc. I dont know how you women feel but once you are rejected by 1 girl or the girl says your not my type its really sad its not like you can gather up energy and go look for another girl. I assume you women feel the same way! But in our culture girls aren't suppose to object when it comes to men because its an all another thing its human feelings, you mention inanimate objects which if you reject will not feel. If i reject my shirt over another one it will not cry in my closet. Hope you understand! You are taking this thread whole different way all i asked was would their relationship work not what the girl prefers whatever she prefers only she knows!
My ex was about thirty when I heard he married a teenager (about 16-17 years old I think, not sure though). He divorced the poor girl twice already before taking her back. Looks like he's copying me. :D
But it still happens often in our family and culture. Nobody really makes a big deal out of it. Sometimes someone might make a comment, but other than that, it's all accepted.
Personally I think 16-17 years is too young. I considered even my own 18 years too young when I was married off. And the females being married off even at a more younger age, I think it's unacceptable, unless the girl is happy with it and the husband promises not to touch her until she is matured enough for that stuff.
I feel very sad for the females who are married off at such young age. And when they're younger, their bodies still aren't grown enough for a healthy pregnancy and child delivery. (too small hips which aren't full grown yet, for childbirth for example)
Re: Marrying a younger girl?
^ So you got married off at 18 and your still fine!
thats just not done man..shes just a child!!:hinna: how can parents make these kinda decisions:emmy: ..very unfair its like they want to get rid of her as soon as possible…they couldahave waited till shes like 18 r so..
^ Redvelvet i assume you know that Girls in islam aren't suppose to switch between Men as they would switch between their clothes/food/etc. I dont know how you women feel but once you are rejected by 1 girl or the girl says your not my type its really sad its not like you can gather up energy and go look for another girl. I assume you women feel the same way! But in our culture girls aren't suppose to object when it comes to men because its an all another thing its human feelings, you mention inanimate objects which if you reject will not feel. If i reject my shirt over another one it will not cry in my closet. Hope you understand! You are taking this thread whole different way all i asked was would their relationship work not what the girl prefers whatever she prefers only she knows!
Pendu, you've TOTALLY missed my point.
I never said nor implied that women should "switch" between men the way they "switch" between clothes. All I'm saying is that just as children (male and female) naturally have preferences for other things in life..........it's not illogical for parents to take into consideration that children can also have preferences for what they want in a future partner. For example.....one might prefer their partner to be of a certain age range. One might prefer their partner to have a certain height or body type. There is nothing wrong with that.
And my post was in response to Pyaricgudia's post.............it wasn't directed toward you at all. You comment of "In our culture, girls aren't supposed to object when it comes to men" is ridiculous, Pendu. I know of several desi girls AND desi guys who have objected to various rishtas because the candidate did not meet their preferences. And there is no gunnah in that. Rejection hurts, I know that. However my post was meant in a broad and general way. All human beings, regardless of gender, have preferences for what they would like in a mate. You're OVER-READING and OVER-ANALYZING my post. Keep the ideas of my post separate from your past relationship problems/hurts.........and you should be able to see that there's nothing wrong with having opinions/preferences.
Re: Marrying a younger girl?
^ There is nothing wrong with choosing or preferring certain types of mates but how would they go about doing that? Just by looking at the pictures? Usually girls are shown pictures of their husband and very rarely do they ever get to talk to their suitors if you're saying a girl is suppose to choose between a bunch of pictures then its Russian roulette either way. Because no body knows how the guy/girl will turn out to be and its a matter of compromises between the pair that settles their differences. Do not mix western ideology with Eastern one because thats what happens most of the time the girl is usually slipped away to marriage as soon as she turns 18.
^ There is nothing wrong with choosing or preferring certain types of mates but how would they go about doing that? Just by looking at the pictures? Usually girls are shown pictures of their husband and very rarely do they ever get to talk to their suitors if you're saying a girl is suppose to choose between a bunch of pictures then its Russian roulette either way. Because no body knows how the guy/girl will turn out to be and its a matter of compromises between the pair that settles their differences. Do not mix western ideology with Eastern one because thats what happens most of the time the girl is usually slipped away to marriage as soon as she turns 18.
Pendu, I do not understand why you're taking this to heart so much. Once again, I urge you to isolate my posts....from your personal experiences.
Yes, the "arranged marriage" business is indeed a superficial one. Often times decisions are based on pictures. And if the rishta goes beyond the picture viewing stage.......then both the guy and the girl have the opportunity to meet one another.
Stop trying to stereotype girls, Pendu. At least in my post, I've mentioned both girls AND guys. This rishta business can be a "Russian Roulette" for guys as well. A pretty picture of a girl is no indication that she will be make a good wife. Similarly......an unattractie picture is not much of an indication of character either. But regardless.......we all are entitled to our opinons.
DUH.......compromise is a part of marraige and deciding on rishtas. Who said it wasn't? Nobody said that. For example........there is nothing wrong for a girl or a guy to have personal preferences for physical attributes that they want in a spouse............but when it comes on deciding a rishta.......they'll have to do some compromising as one can't get everything.
Also.......keep in mind.......that families have their own ways of dealing with rishtas. In some families........a girl has absolutely NO SAY in who she should marry. She may not even get the opportunity to see the face of the guy she's marrying. She may not even get to meet him until the wedding day. In other families.........a girl is encouraged to be more involved in the rishta process. Her parents might ask her what qualities she wants in a mate. These qualities can be discussed with the match maker. The girl will get opportunities to see the pictures......she does have the right to voice her opinion on what pictures she finds attractive or unattractive (no gunna in having an opinion). She will get the chance to meet these guys and talk to them. Some parents will even allow their daugthers to talk to the guy several times before deciding on whether she wants to marry him. Are these "talks" and "meetings" a fool-proof way of determining whether a guy will make a good husband? Of course not! You don't know what someone is like until you start living with them. And yes, compromise is important. Marriage is a gamble. Even a "love marriage" is a gamble.
I was only addressing Pyaricgudia's idea of some parents not allowing their children to have preferences. And this is unreasonable. My post wasn't even directed toward you in the first place. I don't know why you're getting so emotional over it. I think many people would agree that it is OKAY......it's is HUMAN NATURE to have preferences about future partner.....even if you don't get everything you want.
I don't even want to discuss this with you any further....because you've already misinterpreted my posts twice....and I don't have the energy to clarify the third time.
Re: Marrying a younger girl?
pendu , redvelvet had a strong point … n u need to read somthg b/w the lines too 
DUH.......
I thought you were a woman of much sophisticated words:) lol you explained it enough I dont wanna get on your nerves:D
Sometimes a sophisticated person with a vast vocabulary resorts to using SUPER SIMPLE words when dealing with confused minds such as yourself 
And when interacting with the perpetually perplexed inhabitants of the Kingdom of Nye…one might have to resort to using words even more simple and inane-sounding than, “DUH.” 
It’s interesting how…you are basing your opinion of me on just ONE word that I’ve used in my post…whilst ignoring everything else. If doing so makes you feel more secure about yourself…carry on 
Re: Marrying a younger girl?
^ I gota tell you, your word "DUH" snapped me right out of my dream *Morpheus *
^ I gota tell you, your word "DUH" snapped me right out of my dream *Morpheus *
Pendu....oh endearing adolescent of GS.......it's about time if you've snapped out of these strange fantasies you have of other-worlds and dimensions.
Re: Marrying a younger girl?
^ if you say so aunty!
oh how predictable.
Re: Marrying a younger girl?
lol you are the Oracle what can i say?