In Pakistan it is not shocking for older men to get married with younger women. A friend of mine (this is serious) who is 20 got engaged to a girl who is 11 right now. But his parents say that by the time he’ll turn 25 or 27 the girl would be ready to get married. So i did the math for him and when he turns 28 she’ll be 19 or when he’ll be 27 she’ll be 18. So is that a good match in your eyes, especially the girls is it necessary that a man must marry a girl his own age or is this difference can work out? Out of curiosity i asked him that what was his thoughts on this and when he got older his wife would be younger so he told me, “What is a difference between a 60 year old and a 67 year old?” He makes a good argument but what do you think?
Re: Marrying a younger girl?
Difference is, she is 11 now, not 60. That is paedophilia.
Difference is, she is 11 now, not 60. That is paedophilia.
The thing is they are not getting married right now. They'll wait until the girl is 18 or 19.
Re: Marrying a younger girl?
There is a huge age difference between my mom and dad also, so that isn’t always an issue…but to get your child promised to another, that is so not right :no:
The thing is they are not getting married right now. They'll wait until the girl is 18 or 19.
ditto.
i really love this age difference.
The age difference is not a problem but long commitment is a problem.
well few years gap is ok but right now she is just 11 so how can they promise that she will marry him...she is still a child and its her life...i think they should had wait until she turn 16 so at least they could ask her if she agree with this.
i find this very unfair to the girl
Re: Marrying a younger girl?
and i agree with ume that long commitment is a problem...
The thing is the girl doesn’t know and i think he told me by the time she is 18 i think she can make a decision but the guy is settled he’s gonna have a job he’s working on his degree so i think the girl shouldn’t have a problem. its not like he’s gonna talk to a 11 year old girl on the phone about their relationship because both families are super conservatives so i think the only time they’ll meet is when they’ll get married or perhaps start talking when the girl turns 17 or something?. Do you guys think its ok i mean the age difference seems weird to me.
In Pakistan it is not shocking for older men to get married with younger women. A friend of mine (this is serious) who is 20 got engaged to a girl who is 11 right now. But his parents say that by the time he'll turn 25 or 27 the girl would be ready to get married. So i did the math for him and when he turns 28 she'll be 19 or when he'll be 27 she'll be 18. So is that a good match in your eyes, especially the girls is it necessary that a man must marry a girl his own age or is this difference can work out? Out of curiosity i asked him that what was his thoughts on this and when he got older his wife would be younger so he told me, "What is a difference between a 60 year old and a 67 year old?" He makes a good argument but what do you think?
Its not the age gap that bothers me here...its the mentality.
If your wife is 18 and you are 28...there will be loads of communication issues between you two. If you are 67 and she is 60, there wont be. Its the different stages of life we are talking about. If you met someone in your 30's and she was in her mid 20's or late 20's...that could work well too. If you are 28 and she 18...you have to think about it from another perspective...she just became an adult...is she ready to be your wife?
THen again, another question is...what type of a wife do you or your friend want? Some men like an equal, some like a submissive woman, some like a controlling one, etc.
Regardless, its not the age gap thats the problem...its the point in life they're at. She is 11 and has no idea what just happened. By the time she turns 18...she will either love him or hate him.
Re: Marrying a younger girl?
but what if he starts liking someone else, or she likes someone...then the family will have to go through so many headaches.
The age difference is a bit much yes, but still, I have seen many marriages work.
Re: Marrying a younger girl?
^^^No the guy is a super Molvie man how do you guys think he agreed to this? I met him the mosque and he told me all this and i was amazed. What do you mean age difference is a yes? Do you mean that its ok and it can work out?
Re: Marrying a younger girl?
Yes it can work out for sure.
Now I am feeling sorry for that little girl who has no clue…it’s almost like her purpose in life was just one…to be gotten rid off by her parents :hinna:
Re: Marrying a younger girl?
The age difference is not the problem Pendo.
Its the fact that they didnt wait until she was old enough to understand what she was doing.
If she married a man 12 years her senior at the age of 22, I get it.
If she married a man 10 years her senior at the age of 11...I dont get it.
Re: Marrying a younger girl?
ya Imran Khan didnt think like that but so did woody Allen, celine dion, donald trump, elizabeth taylor etc
ya Imran Khan didnt think like that but so did woody Allen, celine dion, donald trump, elizabeth taylor etc
The guy tells me that they got all the time to know each other besides there aren't a lot of opportunities for girls in Pakistan who are from a middle class family. I mean what would be best for their daughter to marry a molvie type dude in USA? I mean thats like hot cakes in Siberia!
Its not the age gap that bothers me here...its the mentality.
If your wife is 18 and you are 28...there will be loads of communication issues between you two. If you are 67 and she is 60, there wont be. Its the different stages of life we are talking about. If you met someone in your 30's and she was in her mid 20's or late 20's...that could work well too. If you are 28 and she 18...you have to think about it from another perspective...she just became an adult...is she ready to be your wife?
THen again, another question is...what type of a wife do you or your friend want? Some men like an equal, some like a submissive woman, some like a controlling one, etc.
Regardless, its not the age gap thats the problem...its the point in life they're at. She is 11 and has no idea what just happened. By the time she turns 18...she will either love him or hate him.
You said it right.
^^^No the guy is a super Molvie man how do you guys think he agreed to this? I met him the mosque and he told me all this and i was amazed. What do you mean age difference is a yes? Do you mean that its ok and it can work out?
If he is moulvie at 20 , there is no guarantee that he will still be moulvie a few years down the line. I have seen it all. I have seen a few completely moulvie turning into a playboys overnight.
It is not to say that I have not seen playboys , who turned into moulvie types.
^^^No the guy is a super Molvie man how do you guys think he agreed to this? I met him the mosque and he told me all this and i was amazed. What do you mean age difference is a yes? Do you mean that its ok and it can work out?
Uh don't give molvis a bad name...first of all any guy that willingly shares he's engaged to an 11 year old is sick. even if he agrees to it, he shouldn't be so "proud" about it.
but in answer to your question, there's a zillion + 1 factors that contribute to the success of a marriage, age is just one. If he treats her right and she knows her rights/responsibilities, then no reason it cant work out. but looking at it from this way, he's already in the US and the girl will be a newcomer. The setup seems less of an equal partnership and more of a dominant-submissive partnership; normally if that's what both partners/families want, fine. but here it sounds like the girl has no say in anything at this point, which is pretty sad.
Uh don't give molvis a bad name...first of all any guy that willingly shares he's engaged to an 11 year old is sick. even if he agrees to it, he shouldn't be so "proud" about it.
but in answer to your question, there's a zillion + 1 factors that contribute to the success of a marriage, age is just one. If he treats her right and she knows her rights/responsibilities, then no reason it cant work out. but looking at it from this way, he's already in the US and the girl will be a newcomer. The setup seems less of an equal partnership and more of a dominant-submissive partnership; normally if that's what both partners/families want, fine. but here it sounds like the girl has no say in anything at this point, which is pretty sad.
It is not that moulvie's fault , he read in books of ahadees about age of Hazrat Aisha Siddiqa(RA) when she got married to our Holy Prophet (SAW) and when her marriage got consummated.
Personally I do not believe in those ahadees and outright reject them.
Re: Marrying a younger girl?
11 is not any age to get engaged, partially engaged, inclination to be engaged.
Parents of the girl really need to get their head examined.