Re: Marrying a well-settled but divorced guy
Look at another thread in the same forum. There are unmarried girls in this world who are getting pregnant out of desperation because they could not find a rishta . So there would be some desperate girls who would be willing to marry this guy.
Keep looking.
good points but are all assuming that there was no discussion or agreements beforehand.
we are judging based on some factors but then assuming what he may not have done..what if he had done that..
and if his requests/expectations/demands were senisble..not outlandish..we also dont know, but what if they were..
we can likewise assume that he did all that he could..there was an understanding, that was later not managed by the wife..
or the most likely scenario that its something in between, now on a continuum of the guy being completely not at fault to the guy being the root of all evil this falls in, we dont know.
Re: Marrying a well-settled but divorced guy
There are hundreds if not thousands of such cases where a desi marries a gori for a few years and then divorce takes place. Tell him not to worry. There are plenty of girls (married and un-married) who would be willing to marry him in a heartbeat. One advice - do not rush.
I love this forum because it allows me to vent and describe many of the rishta horror stories of my life.
Now, I’m going to give personal examples just because this topic really sticks in my craw!
Story One
Years ago a guy’s family came and visited us for my older sister. The guy’s family wasn’t interested and then were kind of rude in social settings - all but ignoring us. No skin off our nose - my sister ended up marrying my super-fabulous BIL.
Back to the original guy - he gets married and is divorced within a year.
Then, the guy’s family is all nice to us, cause I’m next in line and they have the cheek to ask for my rishta. I’m like - why is it that all of a sudden our family is good enough for you when we weren’t a few years ago? Is it because your divorced son wants a single chick.
I know my example is slightly off because of the prior connection with the guy’s family - but I was so seriously surprised that his family would pursue the rishta.
Story Two
A second family comes to our home - of course the guy is “too busy” and couldn’t make it. The mum and aunt, uncle and a cousin visit. We do the whole tea and snacks (I have a firm policy against dinner unless the rishta’s actually going somewhere - I am not rolling out the red carpet).
The guy’s entire family gives us the third-degree asking about everything. They leave and I finally ask my mum about the family - she gives me what little information she has. The net being the most amazing thing in the world, tells me dude is divorced. I asked my mum - did you know? She’s like hain - yeh kya baat hai.
She calls the guy’s mum and says “maine sunha aapkay beta ki pehley bhi shaadi huee thi.”
His mum says “Aap ko kisnay bataya” and then has the gall to say she would have told us if they pursued the rishta further.
I’m like what about being honest up front and providing full disclosure - and it ain’t just about your decision to pursue the rishta - we’ve got a say in this too. No surpise - it din’t go any further than that!
Back to the original point of the post, it’s not about whether a kunwari girl will consider a divorced guy - it’s about how the guy and his family goes about it. If he’s up front and accepts his share of the responsibility for the failed relationship and isn’t looking at the kunwari girl just because she’s kunwari but because he thinks their values match up - families of single girls would respect the guy and be willing to consider him.
Re: Marrying a well-settled but divorced guy
desi DESI desi DESI desi DESI desi DESIIIIIIIIIIIIII desi DESIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
desi desi DESIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII DESI
that my typical day on GS
hahahahhaha 
Re: Marrying a well-settled but divorced guy
ha ha
Re: Marrying a well-settled but divorced guy
MIA no point asking for opinion here as all thats gonna happen infact it already has turned into yet another male bashing thread 
saaley desi mard #$%^&**(
I’d like to add a "@#$%!!!", for good measure.
Re: Marrying a well-settled but divorced guy
80K isnt that much.
I think its quite securely a middle-range income.
Re: Marrying a well-settled but divorced guy
Let me add my 2 cents.
The story behind a divorce should be taken with pinch of salt.
I was intimately involved in an unsuccessful rescue for a very close relatives marriage, although we agree the girl a lot of issues. But I am sure that the guy is not clean as want us to believe either (may be he knows how to cover himself well).
There are too many skeletons in closet for both parties ,and regardless whatever explanation one need to be very careful.
Even if he is so "clean" he like us believe, but it is fact immature, insensitive unable to handle the family in proper way.
I told my sister that i would never be able to present myself asking someone else's hand for him, as he failed once there is no guarantee it would never happen again.
The best advice is stay away, at least you would not be blamed if story repeat itself.
Re: Marrying a well-settled but divorced guy
I agree with Tipu… plus the guy in question really doesnt seem to be a mature guy .. … stay out of it , let him find his own girl , at least you wont be in a limbo for what he does in the future 
Virgins make mistakes. We should be more forgiving rather than going all out on the guy. The odds of things working out these days are pretty low.
The guy should learn his lesson, move on and try to pursue the right partner. When people get involved to help or parents try to find the best match, things normally get gossipy.
My advice to singles on GS...Nobody knows you better than you do...find your own spouse and own your mistakes or rewards.
Re: Marrying a well-settled but divorced guy
when people talk about someone being immature, lets not forget that people are not static, if someone made a mistake or was immature and made wrong decisions but has since learnt calling the individual immature would not be right.
because if someone was immature and made the wrong decision, does it mean that the individual is destined to live with the bad decision for the rest of his or her life?
what many people are today, they were not yesterday, and have grown and learnt from their successes and failures, mistakes and good calls..everything.
There is not one person here who thinks that maybe this person made a bad decision and then realized it was a bad decision, and wants to walk away from that, but has learnt some important lessons along the way?
we simply dont know, we are all assuming, but its amusing that all assumptions are against the dude and none for. for the associated people, treat him like a human being and an individual, not some caricature based on cultural stereotypes, and see him for who he is. All of us working off just a few sentences of information cant really point out what he is like.
Re: Marrying a well-settled but divorced guy
lol. usually guys dont consider household chores an important as one of the key factor of feasible and happy marriage.
they have dreams, and ambitious. they want someone who can walk and talk with with them and like them. the things that makes em shrink their macro spectrum to a micro level is when they find out that the girl who they married have other plans of their lives.
ps. and this statement here that "who married a gori " is actually pretty opposite. actually in this case gori is the one who married this 27 year old 80K+ dude.
ps.2 and if such such proposal put in front of me...well i ask my parents i will only make my decision after you folks believe that such candidate is eligible to be my husband.
Re: Marrying a well-settled but divorced guy
toh zobia..baat agay barrhaen?
Re: Marrying a well-settled but divorced guy
we jointly earn over 80k, but i am not available. :D
maaf rekhain.
ps. i personally believe i unfit for marriage. 
Re: Marrying a well-settled but divorced guy
His only interested in marrying a virgin?
Background checking and then why NOT