I love this forum because it allows me to vent and describe many of the rishta horror stories of my life.
Now, I’m going to give personal examples just because this topic really sticks in my craw!
Story One
Years ago a guy’s family came and visited us for my older sister. The guy’s family wasn’t interested and then were kind of rude in social settings - all but ignoring us. No skin off our nose - my sister ended up marrying my super-fabulous BIL.
Back to the original guy - he gets married and is divorced within a year.
Then, the guy’s family is all nice to us, cause I’m next in line and they have the cheek to ask for my rishta. I’m like - why is it that all of a sudden our family is good enough for you when we weren’t a few years ago? Is it because your divorced son wants a single chick.
I know my example is slightly off because of the prior connection with the guy’s family - but I was so seriously surprised that his family would pursue the rishta.
Story Two
A second family comes to our home - of course the guy is “too busy” and couldn’t make it. The mum and aunt, uncle and a cousin visit. We do the whole tea and snacks (I have a firm policy against dinner unless the rishta’s actually going somewhere - I am not rolling out the red carpet).
The guy’s entire family gives us the third-degree asking about everything. They leave and I finally ask my mum about the family - she gives me what little information she has. The net being the most amazing thing in the world, tells me dude is divorced. I asked my mum - did you know? She’s like hain - yeh kya baat hai.
She calls the guy’s mum and says “maine sunha aapkay beta ki pehley bhi shaadi huee thi.”
His mum says “Aap ko kisnay bataya” and then has the gall to say she would have told us if they pursued the rishta further.
I’m like what about being honest up front and providing full disclosure - and it ain’t just about your decision to pursue the rishta - we’ve got a say in this too. No surpise - it din’t go any further than that!
Back to the original point of the post, it’s not about whether a kunwari girl will consider a divorced guy - it’s about how the guy and his family goes about it. If he’s up front and accepts his share of the responsibility for the failed relationship and isn’t looking at the kunwari girl just because she’s kunwari but because he thinks their values match up - families of single girls would respect the guy and be willing to consider him.