Marrying a Pakistani man ...

[Reha]

Re: Marrying a Pakistani man …

@Jaanwar

Alright I hate to be that one guy, but seriously look at all of you offering gems of advice listening to one side of the story. There’s always two sides to every story, and all of you have mashallah already reached your conclusions and given your verdicts. Based on the story that all this innocent soul has seen is immense suffering and all her mother in law has done is evil in its purest form, and all her husband has done is torment and torture her. FFS!! Could it be a possibility that our lady friend here is a brat, she dived into a commitment without realizing what her responsibilities would be, has she tried being a good wife and a good daughter in law, has she been big headed and arrogant given how proud she is of her Canadian passport, could her husband be subject to stress given he has 5 sisters including one divorced sister and he is financially responsible for the family? Well I don’t know none of that neither, but what I do find sickening is how all you ladies are knocking the piss out of the guy and his mother, and his family and are hellbent on proving what a ****ing lowlife nutless loser he is. Life is certainly not what this lady might have expected, and it is rather clear why that is the case i.e. the husband’s situation. And well, may be this lady is right and they are a bunch of asses. But why couldn’t she see any of that when she was dating the guy and visited his family? Anyway, just pointing out that before firing your rockets, at least take a broader view of the situation. This forum is like someone asking Dick Cheney for relationship advice.

What does it mean to be a good wife and daughter in law? I dont understand this expectation of “shut up and deal with it”. Since when is it okay to be mean to your wife? Or is that just the desi way of doing things? Being a good daughter in law means taking BS for no reason? So in order to have a successful marriage, you need to be a silent sufferer for the first ten years and THEN reap the rewards by having a bone thrown your way now and then? The girl obviously doesnt want to end the marriage and hopes things will work out. Its not like she is running away from this, she actually wants him.

This isnt the 1920s anymore where a woman needs to marry for survival. You marry for love, compatibility and to have a family. Who needs an extra headache in their lives?

@rizla86

The guy has issues that much is pretty clear. Being the only guy in a family of five sisters and a mother takes its toll. I think the guy just doesn’t know how to handle this new relationship. But yeah, it boggles the mind, if the guy’s family were such nutjobs and he was so spineless, it should’ve showed before marriage. This isn’t even an arranged marriage where you’d have an excuse to fall back on.

When people are alone they have no reason to have a spine. She is saying she never saw him interact in a family setting and thats where the issue is. He doesnt even realize what his mom is doing may be wrong.

@stoppit

Oh blah blah. Girl bashes man, so you guys have to come to bash her.

It’s not hard to read between the lines and see that there are ulterior motives. What mother says to her DIL a few days after marriage that the gifts were not sufficient?? Btw, this on top of not allowing rukhsati and given that we have established that nikkah is no more than engagement in Pakistani culture in the other thread, hence easy to break. And then tell hers son that he should marry his cousin. Not to mention the weird behaviour on the husband’s part.

:k: