Re: Marrying a Pakistani man …
If nikah is done separately for specific purpose like visa, the gap between nikah and rukhsati can be siginificant. The elders might have their reasons for not allowing legal husband and wife together before rukhsati. Many of the cultural things in our society is a step ahead of Islamic teachings. E.g. caring for in-laws is not a must on DIL in Islam but it is considered a good thing in our society. Call it good or bad, but there are cultural aspects which we should follow being Pakistanis.
We can either follow the religion only OR follow religion + traditions. If we only follow the religion, we can create unrest in our society because we will be disturbing the status quo. But if we follow religion + culture, we can make everyone happy, Allah Swt + people in our society.
I again insist, if anyone thinks need for rukhsati is a useless thing, they should go for nikah + rukhsati. But if they are making use of this cultual allowance of separate nikah + rukhsati, they should take the whole package of restraining till after the rukhsati. Its not take the part what you like and leave the part what you don’t.