Re: Marrying a non-muslim who is NOT ready to convert..
dont know myself but christians are ahl-e-kitaab, so i think ahl-e-kitaab se nikah jayez hay.. nahin?? 
clear me too!!
Re: Marrying a non-muslim who is NOT ready to convert..
Salam GS, this is my first opened thread in life1 and I really need your advice on this. Understanding my problem without making fun is appreciated.
So this is something going on in my own family. We all immigrated to US almost a couple of decade ago and were raised here. Still we have strong connections with our culture and religion and by now we have not compromised on anything maintaining our social and religious and integrity and still enjoy the joint family system.
But this week, my youngest brother announced something which created a stir in the family. He has his friend for last few years that we all know as well, who is christian and Caucasian girl. He has declared that he's going to marry the girl and the feeling is mutual but the girl is NOT going to convert to islam. So basically he'll stick to his faith as a muslim while the girl will remain be a christian of which he explains that she and her family is quite conservative in it.
Now my mom, myself and others are really worried. The only good thing is that he's offered that if anyone has any concern, he can talk about that but that should be very logical.
Now, since I've great concerns, I really want to discuss things with him but before that I want to know what are the pros and cons of having one person married with a non-muslim girl who'll be a part of pure desi family? What can be short and long-term effect on my brother's family which'll grow ofcourse someday and there'll be kids? What'll be the effect on kids' state when their mother'll be a church-going and father a muslim? And then where'll we all stand with someone who is the only non-muslim while we still are practicing muslims in this western world?
This is a very serious issue for myself and my family. Your serious responses are appreciated.
Your brother is 100% sure otherwise he would not have informed you and your family. If they are both commited to each other as it seems like they are it will work out fine.
Consider the girls family, they are going through the same doubts as your family, even more in todays climate. It was not an easy step to take for both of them.
Support your brother. I have seen personally it works out fine in todays society. Avoid listening to all those who will tell you its wrong or what is right. It really does not matter as long as the couple are happy together. If your future sister in laws family are willing to accept your brother, your family should accept her. If she is a good person that is all one can ask for. Im sure your family will be happy for them eventually.
Re: Marrying a non-muslim who is NOT ready to convert..
Well, some of the posts and self-examples are really helpful but my mind still doesnt get out of the biggest threats that this whole proposal is bringing: Our family can be disintegrated as a result of this marriage as there is a huge cultural difference between us and my brother's choice.
if your family will break up and disintegrate over your brothers choice then it was not a strong family in the first place.
Also I get the feeling most of your family have isolated themselves from the outside world and not intergrated at all. I also sence a feeling from yourself that you are worried alot what people will say, and your future prospects for a good marraige proposal are decreased due to your brothers actions.
Re: Marrying a non-muslim who is NOT ready to convert..
if you guys re bringing religion into it the Yes you are allowed to marry a christian or a jew, but the condition is that she must be a virgin, *( whereas in islam she does not have to be a virgin, ie she could be divorced, or lost her virginity but repented ) . * but i totally understand your mother's reluctance, she is thinking maybe down the line it might not work out etc
Did you make this up??
Never heard of this condition... ever...
Re: Marrying a non-muslim who is NOT ready to convert..
Wait a minute...isn't he marrying into a Catholic family? So shouldn't he convert to Christianity? Oh, dang, I forgot, there's a double standard going on there.
This is America, land of the individual. He has the right to marry whom he pleases, and so does she. He as the right to carry on with his religion, and she has the right to carry on with hers. Yes -- even those resultant children will have the right to choose their religion. I know these thoughts just break your eardrums, but it's true. This is not Pakistan, and the same rules simply do not apply -- unless the individuals involved voluntarily accept them.
Re: Marrying a non-muslim who is NOT ready to convert..
And moreover, I always wondered about the person who left their own religion just for the sake of appearances or just for the spouse...what kind of prize are they really, to the new religion, if they chuck their own so lightly?
Re: Marrying a non-muslim who is NOT ready to convert..
I have very little to add to this conversation, but stumbled upon it. As a non-muslim marrying a man of pakistani descent who is not converting I will say that it is important that you do not apply undue pressure for her to convert. You need to avoid nagging or pressure for your future sister in law to convert. It will only push her away from your family and make it harder for you to build a relationship with her or their children in the future. I will say what worked for us was my finance's family coming together as a united front with naysayers and simply telling them that they were happy their son had found someone so devoted to him and to her own faith. That stopped the calls fairly quickly.
Re: Marrying a non-muslim who is NOT ready to convert..
if you guys re bringing religion into it the Yes you are allowed to marry a christian or a jew, but the condition is that she must be a virgin, ( whereas in islam she does not have to be a virgin, ie she could be divorced, or lost her virginity but repented ) .
but i totally understand your mother's reluctance, she is thinking maybe down the line it might not work out etc
Can you please provide an authentic reference from Quran or Hadees for it. I never came across such a condition which does not mean that I am doubting your knowledge ,instead I am looking to increase mine.
Re: Marrying a non-muslim who is NOT ready to convert..
Actually the purpose of this thread is to explore the "potential problems" that someone or his family has to face in a number of years if he marries to a conservative christian girl..
If that is the actual purpose, solution is really simple. Dont create problems where none exists. By his family, if you mean his relatives, too bad - this is not about them. If you mean his kids, they will figure things out. 25 years later, things may liighten up a bit, and we all will not have to be in a straighjacket, adhering to customs at the expense of the happiness of whom we love.
Support your brother in the choices he makes - and hope for the best.
Re: Marrying a non-muslim who is NOT ready to convert..
hello to everyone. Im new in GS. I have read every one's opinion and I agree with Barbiecue and holy moly. As far as I know, marrying a non-muslim is not so bad. After all everyone believes in God. It all depends on the couple how they manage their life. It is true that children follow father's religion. I know people who have married out of their religion and doing well in their life. There is no harm in marrying any non-muslim. Talk to your brother and have trust on your brother, since he is also brought up in the same way as your are. He knows what e is doing and how is he going to manage in future. Best wishes for his future.
Dont force anyone and dont bother about the society.
Re: Marrying a non-muslim who is NOT ready to convert..
It is true that children follow father's religion.
Just to increase knowledge, this is only true in Islam. Catholics agree to raise their children catholic in order for a marriage between a Catholic and a Muslim to be recognized by the church. In Jewish families the children follow the religion of the mother.
Re: Marrying a non-muslim who is NOT ready to convert..
I would also point out that the children are most likely to follow the religion of the parent to whom religion is most important. The one who makes the effort to live their life according to their religion and who takes the time to attend religious functions.
In America, that is usually the mother, at least in my experience.