Marrying a non-muslim who is NOT ready to convert..

[Holy_Lota]

Re: Marrying a non-muslim who is NOT ready to convert..

@Sehrysh

^ I haven’t read the entire chain of emails - but clarify something please - in what faith will the children be raised?

Ok Sehrysh, my brother is saying and the girl is apparently agreed on this as of now that the children will be raised as a Muslim. But with their mother as a practicing Catholic and father as a non-religious muslim, I really see it hard how the children would be good muslims. Afterall a muslim is not the one who knows kalma only and rest of the things do as per athiests or non-muslims. We want the children to be good muslims too but as of now it looks like too much to ask for!

@anya

There’s nothing much you or your family can do about it

Asking you guys to present logical concerns, where he himself is being unreasonable as he already has his mind made up…& not everything can be explained with a logic/reason, thats why terms like uncertainty etc exist

As for the kids, i dont think he is seriously considering that matter right now…i doubt the girl will let them be raised as muslims

Yes you are so right.. it seems like my brother is not getting anything at all what we are saying. And let me tell you a very interesting fact. He’s the one who says that he’s not emotional at all, rather thinks logically and uses brain than heart. Practically I dont see it in this case atleast.

@$ehar

Let the time decide and stop worrying!

Sehar I wish it can be so simple..

@arafat

but i totally understand your mother’s reluctance, she is thinking maybe down the line it might not work out etc

Yes my mother is the most worried person in this whole scenario. With my father not alive, she’s feeling too much pressure. She’s even worried about things like how would she let my other sisters’ husbands and their families know about it as it’d be the first case in our family history and this was something nobody would expect.
But again, she’s very helpless and in fact we all are.

@Mirch

You go to the wedding and enjoy the biryani , qorma and sheermaals.
It is for him to think what will be the repercussions of his decision to marry a non-Muslim woman.
If he has worked out the details already then what is bothering you. They are grownups and they have the right to live their life they want the way they want. It is allowed in Islam. You are ruining the fun you could have from the news that your brother is getting married to a woman. What could you do if he announced that he is marrying a man. Desi folks are doing so too now as I have heard.

Ya’r rite! I wish we could be that insensitive as you’ve written. But we gotto think what’s going to happen down the road. This can impact not only him but also everyone in our family.
And yes things could be much worse but that can always be the case and doesnt justify enough for us to stop worrying.

@lafuriaroja

I don’t really think there’s much you can do at this point, because the real issue here is not that your brother is marrying a non muslim but that he himself is not a practising muslim(which is why he’s also ok with marrying a non muslim). If your brother himself cannot provide a strong influence towards Islam then yes chances are the kids will gravitate towards the mothers religion and culture. But thats really his fault, if your brother himself isn’t concerned about the religion of his children then there’s nothing you can do.

Although I know its hard because when you love someone you feel you want to guide them down the right path I think you just have to accept that he is marrying her. All you can do is be supportive towards him and when his children are born do everything you can do to provide them with muslim values and influence so they at least have some knowledge of it and then the rest is up to them. Your mother spent so much effort trying to raise you guys as good muslims, and it didn’t really work on him. Its not your mothers fault of course but the point is there’s only so much you can do and then the rest is up to the individual. Focus on building a good relationship with your future in law and be open and honest so she understands the concepts behind eid and other events and hopefully she will be open to participating in such things and have an increased awareness of islam and your culture.

You pretty much summed it. If it happens, well I see it happening soon actually, then we all are agreed not to leave our brother, rather be close to him and then try to be a good muslim and set an example for our future bhabi and their children and who knows, things may change later. There is always a hope!!