No group of ppl will ever admit to their ‘lesser’-ness. Even within Punjabis… Jatts/Rajas/Arain/Choudhry’s etc etc etc… they all claim to be superior to the other based on some insignificant traits tht really don’t matter. These are things that can be percieved as positive or negative by someone who is neutral. i.e) Formality in Hydros can be seen as an awesome display of hosting but on the other end Punjabi khulla dhulla-ness is seen as a good display of hosting.
It all depends on the person…if ur mindset is “I’m better than everyone”… and this isn’t in an arrogant nasty way, more like… patriotism or whatever… and if u feel u won’t be able to settle into any family/group different than urself… then it’s better to admit that and stay away, rather than create problems later on.
I find Pakhtoon people as extremely hospitable bunch. Now they’re neither as formal as Hyderbadis nor as entertaining and free flowing as Punjabis. But they’re definitely a very hospitable bunch. So how can I say that? Hospitality is lot more than just checking a tick-list or measuring one group against the other.
I think part of the problem is the communication that seems to be going over your head. “Rest my case” is an expression commonly used in the English language to tell someone they’ve done more than enough to prove their point.
My experience with Hyderabadis has been nothing but wonderful.
I cannot complain about anyone being cheap, inhospitable or less than welcoming. I come from an urdu speaking background and I was included and welcomed with absolutely no hesitation.
Yes…some households lean towards a matriarchal structure…but not all. And where there is a matriarch, you may find some of the younger male generation going overboard on trying to take the reigns but meh, that would happen in any culture.
Interesting that you’re complaining about people stereotyping and then making this HUGE leap to assume that people are being forced into marriages. I don’t look down on my in laws (I wouldn’t be MARRYING THE GUY I’VE BEEN WITH FOR 3 YEARS IF THAT WAS THE CASE) and I don’t think I’m superior than them. I was pointing out differences that I’ve noticed. If you and your hydro friends aren’t like that, cool.
No one’s intention (at least RV or mine) was to belittle hydros…I said my family is different and I specified that I was basing this off of my IN LAWS so it could be just them and not hydro culture. There’s no need to get so worked up and rude. Punjabis get **** on in conversations ALL the time as the “paindu” “rude” “loud” group with no class. I’ve gotten it from close friends. So I don’t know why I would go and say something that hurtful about another group. If it came across like that, my bad.
I don’t know if you’re hydro or not, and frankly don’t care, but your attitude towards people in those post show that YOU have a problem with arrogance and thinking you’re better than other people. Don’t try to draw conclusions about my relationship/marriage based on something I said with the qualifier of it being MY OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.
