Marrying a guy "not from here"

[stoppit]

Re: Marrying a guy “not from here”

@psyah

Look the lawyer is ashamed of fobby accents …

I’ve seen it work only where girls are less educated and quite socially inactive … by the sound of it … unless the dude is a tycoon he won’t be suitable for an average Western desi girl.

Peace

@psyah

Peace stoppit

I’m not really making drastic generalisations, I’m merely interpreting the case with the majority of Pakistanis, like always there are exceptions to the rule … my statement was the general trend, your hubby would indeed be the exception - which is good for you.

Other factors that also include making it work are: How Religious the people are? If the couple are cousins/related? If the man is the son of an elder sibling who is living in the West whose daughter is to be married. If the families are already rich despite being in Paksitan … My generalisations could go on … for a sure thing … If your husband is as good as you say he is then it is likely that he has come from the Pakistani middle class. Perhaps I’m wrong.

I was making no attempt to demean them in any way, just stating a trend.

Firstly, I do not like the generalisation you are making about average western pakistani girls. Because too me, average would be myself and my cousins and other relatives.

Secondly, the only times where it would only work if the “girls are less educated and quite socially inactive” is if the guy only has basic education and women in his family are not given much freedome. To be honest, that goes for guys from pakistan AND guys from here.

If you’re middle class and living in the UK, when it comes to finding a rishta in the UK, you would generally look amongst other middle class families? Similar sort of family and educational background? Same would apply if you’re going to look within Pakistan. The problem happens, when you get middle class families, who have given their daughter’s a university education, encouraged them to be independent and keep jobs and then go and get them married to some guy from Pakistan who grew up in village or small town, where “the women in my family don’t do anything without my permission”. I’m not saying these guys are ‘bad’ but clearly what they want from a wife and what these women want from a husband is not compatible.