Girls..help!..it seems that many mothers prefer to have their sons married to girls from Pakistan. The result? There is a huge shortage of potentials here! So my question is this…to all the girls out there who married guys “not from here”…did it work?..can it work?..I don’t mean bringing guys from Pakistan but just international students here..I am so hesitant and to be honest the thought if it depresses me but there aren’t really any other options but at the same time I want a husband who thinks like me…and my career (I’m a lawyer) will require me to attend work functions, events etc…I don’t wanna be embarrassed because my husband has a fobby accent oh someone help please…I know I may seem like an immature brat but this is how
I feel and iv tried to look at it from all angles but I’m just not
happy.
I am getting confused with your "here" and "there"?! I suppose you are talking about marrying someone from Pak where as in you yourself are not living there, rite?
As for the embarassement about the fobby accent or what not, well if you can't find one with a non fobby accent there then that's your call to make. You want someone who understands your work requirements and schedules AND same way i am sure even a guy with a fobby accent would want some respect which you don't seem to be capable of giving. So a kind advice, please refrain from marrying any such guy, would save your and him a marriage :)
International students from Pakistan studying in USA, UK or Canada are generally good guys who have recently shifted from Pakistan (with strong Eastern values since their upbringing had been done in Pakistan) and might want to permanently settle down in USA, UK or Canada. They may or may not have fobby accent. They had to pass through many interviews, TOEFLE, IELTS, SAT etc and many of them might have done O levels and A levels before coming to USA, UK and Canada. So you will definitely need to meet them before deciding anyting. A guy living in the US since 3-4 years doesn't necessarily have a fobby accent, but if he otherwise is a very good person, with good education, career and family, fobby accent can be ignored. The accent can get improved with time.
The issue more important than the fobby accent would be whether they would want to marry someone from US, UK or Canada so their wife can sponsor them and they can live there once their student visa expires. If their sole purpose if solely the sponsorship, they might not be willing to make their marriage work in the long term (as many guys recently shifted from Pakistan do think that girls brought up in Western countries are very liberal and cannot become good wives and mothers).
I don't think there is anything wrong in considering international students as long as you both get along well. It would be best to spend much time with the guy before you truly understand him and then only decide to marry him. Knowing how well will he be able to support you in your career will be easy once you start interating with the guy in the getting to know stage.
It can sometimes work.. I think if you 'click' with someone it shouldn't matter (too much) where they're from.. There can be differences in ways of thinking and practical issues so obviously you have to make allowances for that but if you think you can handle those things no reason why you shouldn't go for it :) and they don't all have fobby accents if that bothers you..
I don't think there is anything wrong in considering international students as long as you both get along well. It would be best to spend much time with the guy before you truly understand him and then only decide to marry him. Knowing how well will he be able to support you in your career will be easy once you start interating with the guy in the getting to know stage.
Look the lawyer is ashamed of fobby accents ... :)
I've seen it work only where girls are less educated and quite socially inactive ... by the sound of it ... unless the dude is a tycoon he won't be suitable for an average Western desi girl.
my husband is pakistani and didn't even have the 'privilege' of studying 'here'. he had to make do with a pakistani education. somehow he speaks better english than many british born pakistani's?? perhaps it has something to do with upbringing??
Look the lawyer is ashamed of fobby accents ... :)
I've seen it work only where girls are less educated and quite socially inactive ... by the sound of it ... unless the dude is a tycoon he won't be suitable for an average Western desi girl.
Peace
At least they will be better than freshly imported guys from Pakistan for marriage purpose only. If the girls have limited choices because the well settled guys and their moms want to bring 'shareef' girls from Pakistan, the girls living in West are left with only two options, either marry the international Pakistani students or import guys from Pakistan (the third option would be to go for some other nationality which might not be accepted for many). So guys already living and studying there would be better than freshly imported guys I guess.
OP I can empathise with your view point and I put a similar thread on life1 a few weeks ago, I had a rishta from a guy who had been in the UK for 4 years he did a masters here and was on a HSMP visa I think its called.
When he came to see me I had many pre conceptions in my mind, fobby accent, he wont get me, he will want me to stay at home and do nothing etc etc
When he did come to see me, he had a fobby accent but was well spoken and funny! and even a little witty, my urdu isnt great but he said its good enough to communicate with his mum and nani which is what he wanted.
He was a nice man with good values and good upbringing and I dont think he would have been like NO you cant go to work events etc.
I think what is important when considering someone whether they are from abroad or from here is MENTALITY, do your mentalities match, upbringing and education are vitally important.
Be open minded and remember all that glitters isnt gold.
p.s. that rishta didnt work out because his mum liked one his cousins or something and trying to push that but my experience with the guy himself was very good.
FOB guy with or without FOBBY accent.......big no no..........
best option.......marry some gora or something......desi dudes are mostly backward and stuff......they will act nice before but once you marry them...the inner typical desi mentality guy will come out................and you will regret it for the rest of your life......
Girls..help!...it seems that many mothers prefer to have their sons married to girls from Pakistan. The result? There is a huge shortage of potentials here! So my question is this...to all the girls out there who married guys "not from here"...did it work?...can it work?...I don't mean bringing guys from Pakistan but just international students here..I am so hesitant and to be honest the thought if it depresses me but there aren't really any other options :( but at the same time I want a husband who thinks like me...and my career (I'm a lawyer) will require me to attend work functions, events etc...I don't wanna be embarrassed because my husband has a fobby accent :( oh someone help please...I know I may seem like an immature brat but this is how
I feel and iv tried to look at it from all angles but I'm just not
happy.
Any girls have any positive stories for me?
There are other more important things to be concerned for rather than just fobby accent. I have known quite a few migrants to USA who speak horrible English and yet they succeed in presentation-intensive jobs like marketing and sales.
Am I the only one who finds such accents kinda cute? :sid:
To the OP: One thing just to bear in mind.. and I know its a giant generalisation but it does happen.. that the international students come abroad and kinda go a little crazy in the whole new freedom aspect side.. then when they meet a ‘good’ girl they’re like woah and swoon all over her cuz she’s ‘shareef’.. but give it a while and they may lose interest.. it’s a matter of sincerity you have to be careful about. Happened to me recently
Otherwise I’d say be open minded. International students are generally decent and tend to be very hard working to get to where they want to be
I have known quite a few migrants to USA who speak horrible English and yet they succeed in presentation-intensive jobs like marketing and sales.
That doesn't make any sense, because anybody who has a job where communication and presentation is key to success in their line of work, like in marketing or sales, they can't possibly speak "horrible" english or have thick accents where no one can understand them.
This does happen, ive seen it with the boys at my uni, i think people who have a job lined up or are already working are more responsible and mature and get over the novelty of freedom! Again it all depends on upbringing, treat everyone as an individual try not to generalise.
It's not any more shallow than going for a certain type of look imo and besides she needs to be attracted to him.. If she finds a strong accent a bit of a turn-off I don't see the big deal.. I'd find a v.strong Indian accent a turn-off just as I wouldn't like a strong Cockney one either and it's not like I could turn it off and not have to listen to it day in and day out..
Well all i could say is, you will be surprised how some Pakistani educated men speak. They speak clear english and wouldn't cause you any embarassment. You see i tell you, i have been in Canada here for last 15 years or so and my tongue still slips here and there for some english words. In other word, desis can recognize by the accent that i am Pakistani. My ex used to love it and found it cute. The fact is you need somebody from your own place. Wish you all the best.
The accent is not a bad thing unless he has really really bad grammar too. You want him to speak English to communicate and express himself but dont be picky about accents and such. You also are human and imperfect...
but at the same time I want a husband who thinks like me…and my career (I’m a lawyer) will require me to attend work functions, events etc…I don’t wanna be embarrassed because my husband has a fobby accent 