Re: Marrying a Gori!!
yes It all really depends on the individual person whom you marry
Re: Marrying a Gori!!
In my experience, and I have definitely been around awhile longer than I care to admit, the gori wives go out of our way to be accomodating to our husband's culture and family. It's the desis who tend to be intolerant of us, our cultures, and our families. I am constantly told that I need to act "more Pakistani" and that I should only cook desi food and wear salwar kameez. I do cook desi food about half the time, and wear salwar kameez when I feel like it. Both cultures have good and bad points, and one shouldn't come at the expense of the other, that's the beauty of a mixed marriage.
By the way, you're out promoting shareef desi girls to the desi guys on the forum, yet you have a boyfriend? How "pakistani" is that?
Good point. I really liked this outspoken speach.
Yes, tollerance is a big issue and it is unlikely that a gori can be understood at this level, like you said. Accomodating a different personality is the hardest thing to do and you are right in whatever you said.
Re: Marrying a Gori!!
why would we wanna marry pakis who try to act like goris:confused: ?i mean it would be much better to marry a gori insted of pakis who don,t give a **** about their religioun and values:o… above all goris have class so i would advice all larkas to marry a gori if our western paki girls behave like trash 
(not religious)…
Re: Marrying a Gori!!
if you fall in love with someone, it doens't matter if she is gori or desi girl. It all depends on the situation. But i m given a choice i would perfer Desi girl :D
Re: Marrying a Gori!!
You are right. It is just that some people try hard to become westernized, look down upon their own culture and values and doubt their own people out of comparison. I assure you, it is a matter of understanding each other rather than being Pakistani or ABCD, BBCD etc...... This is all stereotyping with no boundaries, no justification etc....
Re: Marrying a Gori!!
I agree. Remember the hadith that a woman is married for four things - her Faith, beauty, wealth, and lineage, and the man that focuses on anything but faith will be the loser.
We could all do with a big dose of tolerance in here. So what if your brother wants to marry a muslimah who is black, white, Chinese, or something else. Maybe if you stop backbiting long enough to welcome her into your family and learn a little about her culture instead of insisting that she learn to adopt yours 110% then the Ummah will finally recover some of the strength that it had in the past.
When I hear of desis especially complaining about how their muslim "brothers" around the world are being persecuted, I have to laugh - for too many desis, they're only your "brother" until they want to marry your sister or cousin.
Re: Marrying a Gori!!
if a person is Muslim and holds Islamic values and they do what they are suppose to do as a husband/wife (islamically)...then they will make a good husband/wife no matter what race they are.
Perhaps for some.... marrying within the same race is all about convenience....they speak the same languare, have the same traditions and if those traditions are all they know then it might be difficult for them to marry w/in another race.
Re: Marrying a Gori!!
As long as you are within the limits of what Allah has proscribed, then nothing. Although the policy in my house with my daughters is that you are either formally engaged or married, or you are not. There is no "boyfriend" business.
Re: Marrying a Gori!!
As someone who married a gori and has been married to her for 7 years, I am constantly amazed and amused by comments like the ones made by mahanoor. Call it ignorance, fear, whatever, but the fact remains, a marriage depends on two individuals, not on two races. No two people are exactly the same. Does a brown wife respect her husband more than a gori wife? The answer is there is no way to tell.
My wife calls my parents Ammi and Abbu and is SO loved by them, people are surprised. My brother got married earlier this year and at his wedding, my wife took the role of the big bahu perfectly in stride. Dozens of people commented to my parents about how much they were taken with her and how she so perfectly played the big bahu's role. They said that they couldn't even believe that she was a gori other than her appearance.
On the flip side, I have seen brown girls who mistreat their inlaws, bad mouths them, etc.
So, my answer to all the ignorant people, maybe some unaware people, or simply to the curious people, is that please don't judge people by their race. It is not only morally reprehensive but also Islamically. If the prophet were to go by what our culture dictates, he would never have married Khadija. People are individuals and it is dangerous to lump everyone into one role.
I might also add that my wife is a very good muslim, better than many brown girls I know.
Amana, you sound like a very wise woman, we need more like you.
Finally, as Amana stated, language, culture, attire, cuisine, these are dynamic things. If you stagnate, you die away as a people. I think us pakistanis are the WORST when it comes to tolerance and instead of celebrating the coming together of two such different cultures where you can take advantage of the the 'best of both worlds' scenario, most pakistanis condemn it. It's really tragic that we think ourselves superior to everyone else. We think our culture is better than everyone's. We are so narrow minded and arrogant as to think that we can't learn from others.
Re: Marrying a Gori!!
My wife calls my parents Ammi and Abbu and is SO loved by them, people are surprised. My brother got married earlier this year and at his wedding, my wife took the role of the big bahu perfectly in stride. Dozens of people commented to my parents about how much they were taken with her and how she so perfectly played the big bahu's role. They said that they couldn't even believe that she was a gori other than her appearance.
On the flip side, I have seen brown girls who mistreat their inlaws, bad mouths them, etc.
So, my answer to all the ignorant people, maybe some unaware people, or simply to the curious people, is that please don't judge people by their race. It is not only morally reprehensive but also Islamically. If the prophet were to go by what our culture dictates, he would never have married Khadija. People are individuals and it is dangerous to lump everyone into one role.
I might also add that my wife is a very good muslim, better than many brown girls I know.
Amana, you sound like a very wise woman, we need more like you.
i agree with the above statements. race has nothing to do with the kind of wife one may or may not be. For a pakistani to think that ONLY a paki girl can make a good wife is indeed ignorant. It's a personal preference...a paki girl may make a good wife for THEM...doesnt mean she will make a good wife for ALL paki's.
Re: Marrying a Gori!!
u people are taking this some where else by gori i mean is english with no knowledge of islam soo yeah
but the gori who were english and now practising Islam good i would say they way better than our desi girls coz they have more knowledge of islam and they paectice islam very good
and i am taking about muslim guys who marry those gori and dotn accept their husband religion and dont become amuslim and islam say if u marry someone make sure its a muslim soo it doesnt matter wot wot colour or race the person is...... i was complaining about the ones who just marry muslim guy and dont wana become a muslim other than tht i do respcet gori who are muslim like i am gori friends who converted into islam and the way they cover theirselves and practice islam good
Re: Marrying a Gori!!
Finally, as Amana stated, language, culture, attire, cuisine, these are dynamic things. If you stagnate, you die away as a people. I think us pakistanis are the WORST when it comes to tolerance and instead of celebrating the coming together of two such different cultures where you can take advantage of the the 'best of both worlds' scenario, most pakistanis condemn it. It's really tragic that we think ourselves superior to everyone else. We think our culture is better than everyone's. We are so narrow minded and arrogant as to think that we can't learn from others.
this Imam at my masjid encouraged intercultural/racial marriages. He said that we must expand the ummah and not just stay w/in our own culture....that we must open up to diversity and focus more on religion then culture and that intercultural/racial marriages will do exactly that.
Re: Marrying a Gori!!
and i am taking about muslim guys who marry those gori and dotn accept their husband religion and dont become amuslim and islam say if u marry someone make sure its a muslim soo it doesnt matter wot wot colour or race the person is...... i was complaining about the ones who just marry muslim guy and dont wana become a muslim other than tht i do respcet gori who are muslim like i am gori friends who converted into islam and the way they cover theirselves and practice islam good
then perhaps the term "gori" shouldnt be used! perhaps "non-muslim wife" would be a better term.
Keep in mind also....they are plenty of muslim PAKISTANI girls that make awful wives.
Re: Marrying a Gori!!
true i agree with u but those neglish girls who marry aapne pakis guys they dont make husband life more awful they kick their husband out of home and asking them for 50 percent property
Re: Marrying a Gori!!
and even having a husband they have relationship with other mens and i am suure not much paksitani girls do tht even the husband is devil or evil or zalim the paksitani girls compromises most of the time
Re: Marrying a Gori!!
wow u love to generalize dont u?
and u must be naive to think that paki girls dont cheat and sleep around before and/or after marriage.
Re: Marrying a Gori!!
yep all the muslim girls dont cheat with them coz they respect their ereligion but as english women dotn have religion they just do woetever they feel liek doing
Re: Marrying a Gori!!
^^
Re: Marrying a Gori!!
mahnoor where do u live?