Hey Guppies…
I’m interested in peoples experiences of arranged marriages…in reference to those settled in the West marrying from Pakistan…(im sure its been brought up before)…im interested in a few particular aspects. I have my own opinions but i’ll refrain from using them now.
I notice that if this step is taken it tends to be by men…and if it is by women they tend never to be partcicularly happy about it but cant get divorced cos family will blame her bla bla…so for the men who have taken this step…why choose to get married to someone from back home rather than someone british/american born & how did you deal with the differences?..do you prefer girls from the villages or more modern western girls who live similar lifestyles to you…how would you compare them to British born girls say in aspects such as their expectations, independence etc…Also did you notice any positive or negative changes in your partners since they got here?..Same for girls who have married from abroad.
Also as for women from Pakistan who have settled how difficult did you find it to adjust to the fast, lonely lifestyle that is London away from your family as opposed to the lifestyle you had back home…maybe you were wealthy in Pakistan and were used to luxury…how are you adjusting now?..was London what you expected it to be…was marriage expected it to be…have you changed significantly since you came here?..do you feel more independent now and do you value having more choice?..do you have higher expectations of life now?..
Pakis i understand dont like airing their own business but are quite happy to air others business lol 
so feel free to talk about experiences you have seen.
My main objective is to understand why people seek partners from abroad…whether they see it as an easy option…and whether that innocent, genuine, easy going girl who expected nothing from me except love and support da di da remained like that when she assimilated within British society where expectations of human beings and relationships tend to never be fulfilled…and in the same way im interested in whether Pakistanis expectations were met here or do they miss their simple, slow Pakistan lifestyle surrounded by family and friends and whether they have changed significantly since they got here…
By the way i have no slant to one or the other…im happy dating and marrying girls from here and im happy to do the same abroad…they have their advantages and disadvantages but both can work depending on whether the people make it work…just interested in how well ones have made it work.
Re: Marrying a 'Freshy'...
NBN its purely personal pref. Some parents have this idea that girls back home are more hollier than here. But i disagree. If someone had said the same about their daughter they would have been furious. I think it all boils down to what you want in life. If you are ok with getting married to someone grown up in Pak then so be it. If you are ok with someone raised outside of Pakistan then so be it. Nothing wrong or right with it.
So inclusion i think go with your guts.. and get married inshaAllah you will have a happy life. Do invite me (you can just PM with invitation) and please make sure you have good khana arrangements... :p
Re: Marrying a 'Freshy'...
It all depends on the freshy!
some have such a complex about being pakistani that they dont want to change.. and expect the girl to accustom herself to all the ways he's prefers.
some on the other hand are lovely they understand theyr in a new country which is different to pakistan and want to change and adapt for the better .. like my husband :)
Re: Marrying a ‘Freshy’…
Guys (or thier mothers) want girls from pak because no one believse women born or raised here will be good wives. There’s the stereotype that we’re slutty or trashy and ultra moooooddderrrrnnn 
Girls will marry ag uy from back home because i suppose it’s easier to findsomeone there because all the guys here are going bak home for bivian!! My mother wants to find a guy from ther,e and I DON’T 
Re: Marrying a ‘Freshy’…
What is ultra-modern?? 
Re: Marrying a 'Freshy'...
Hmm i would think the answer is pretty simple: it all depends on your personality, likes -dislikes, goals etc and those of your freshie spouse. I am sure every couple and case is different.
Re: Marrying a ‘Freshy’…
^ You are just trigger-happy or a part of NRA?? :soldier:
Re: Marrying a 'Freshy'...
My fiancée is a village girl and I love her just the way she is, she speaks English, Pashto, Dari (Persian), Urdu, and Punjabi and she’s very traditional and conservative.
I’ve always been open to both Brit born or Paki born chicks for marriage as long as they’re decent and not wannabes, the only ones which were a no go for me are the types I see at college over here and those ‘mommy papa’ city girls in Pakistan you see on TV, they annoy me to no end, I have some ‘friends’ like this but I wouldn’t marry them firstly because I wouldn’t want to and secondly because my mother would spank me silly.
Re: Marrying a ‘Freshy’…
Amrikann/British gurls aare bery bo-hhhhhhhld!
:nono:
Re: Marrying a ‘Freshy’…
I disagree, being a british muslim i have had female friends for years… back to when i was at school.. and we still generally meet up and chat, they conduct themselves in a manner i would expect of them, and them of me.
Re: Marrying a 'Freshy'...
desi gals in US and Uk have been a big dud for me. borrowed personalities with no originality. big ego and no class. thumbs down.
Re: Marrying a 'Freshy'...
hey i would have married any1 whom i would feel i'm into. or is into me.
never would go out for nationality or anything like that. yes i would go for my interest.
lolly pop good n bad ppl can be found everywhere. some girls in pak are extremely arrogant.
Re: Marrying a ‘Freshy’…
Nangiyal! Don’t think about getting married; Don’t trust your feelings. Concentrate on your studies…
Where are you accounting principles???
Re: Marrying a 'Freshy'...
ha ha ha
i statred painting recently.
Re: Marrying a 'Freshy'...
the going back and marrtying someone from pakistan phenomenon is observed mostly in people with issues, insecurities or who cant land a decent match in the country they are in. yeah there are exceptions but that seems to be the trend.
Re: Marrying a ‘Freshy’…
^ Not ncessarily, it cud also be becoz they jus dont know anyone here… at least thats how it is for my family.. they dont know anyone over here
Re: Marrying a ‘Freshy’…
Yes! Sara! That is a better smiley for you.
Re: Marrying a 'Freshy'...
well, i think it all depends who are you getting married to, any person from uk or back home can be very compatible and at the same time can be very un compatible too.
nature counts not the place. you can find very nice and decent partner in west and i can assure there are plenty. not 100% right in Pak, you can end up wrong person from there too.
marry a person who do you think is right for you, share your interests, who is easy to adapt to new things.
good luck!!
Re: Marrying a ‘Freshy’…
Sara
As I said “who cant land a decent match in the country they are in” … this could be due to not knowing people, or other factors.