**i'll take about the subject from Islamic perspective, iA.
in Islam, marrying a widowed or a divorced woman is highly encouraged and for which Allah has promised a great reward. this act of kindness of marrying such women and providing shelter and sustenance is an act of Hasanah. u become a loving and caring husband and a responsible and affectionate father to her children is NOT only kindness but u also effectively raise a child to become a productive member of the society...this is sadaqa-e-jaariyah.
the REVERSE is also very much TRUE! a woman marrying a divorced or a widowed man is an act of kindness in the sight of Allah.
May Allah bless all those men and who, in this cruel society, dare to step up to the plate and show kindness and responsibility in order to make this world a better place to live. aameen. :)**
As an outsider, I can only marvel at the way you have tied this topic from Islam's perspective. Very nice message/philosophy.
I have problems marrying a divorced guy may be because of the fear of his behaviour, character and the baggage he is carrying while entering into a new relationship... I see myself getting compared to his ex-wife every now and then... And we usually hear rishte wali aunties that "wo bechara innocent divorcee hai, sara qasoor us ki biwi ka tha"... Now how in the world can we know whose fault was it if we don't hear the other side of the story... Its not because of bias or anything against divorced/ widowed persons, its just that would't it be better it they marry within their own kind and try to console the other person who has been through the same ordeal as them. Of course, if you love a divorced person, then by all means go for it. But I am talking about the marriages of never married persons with divorced ones in an arranged setting.
We have a difficult society. Our divorced guys can easily get never married girls (because of problems of rishtas in the society) but it is more difficult to marry off a divorced girl even to a divorced/ widowed person because they prefer never married.
Well my fiance was divorced (has children), but he is a great human being, he understands me completely, I believe that you should give everyone a chance because you never know who will be that person who will love you like no one else can.
Age difference, prior divorce, beauty, skin color.... whatever issues should be left upon the person who is actually going to live with other person. One can try to reason with them but cannot force.
Yeh Dilon Ke Sauday Hain. Aqal Ke Kum, Dil Ke Ziada.
Both heart and mind need to be used but if heart does not agree with mind then why have relation?
its not the matter of heart and mind here, neither do I mean to enforce people into such a choice folks. Ofcourse we all have our own parameters and we do follow them. complexion, looks, education social status all may matter. It is just this attitude that some people predecide oh all right that person is divorced so there must be something fishy or bad about it and that person is instantly removed from the list of options. What we need actually to change this kind of mentality. Because yes why not most of the time one person has to pay for another's faults/mistakes and their marriage doesnt get along well. We need to take a stand in such a situation and a person's personal character shoul be individually considered apart from the stigma of divorce they are bearing.
I have problems marrying a divorced guy may be because of the fear of his behaviour, character and the baggage he is carrying while entering into a new relationship... I see myself getting compared to his ex-wife every now and then... And we usually hear rishte wali aunties that "wo bechara innocent divorcee hai, sara qasoor us ki biwi ka tha"... Now how in the world can we know whose fault was it if we don't hear the other side of the story... Its not because of bias or anything against divorced/ widowed persons, its just that would't it be better it they marry within their own kind and try to console the other person who has been through the same ordeal as them. Of course, if you love a divorced person, then by all means go for it. But I am talking about the marriages of never married persons with divorced ones in an arranged setting.
We have a difficult society. Our divorced guys can easily get never married girls (because of problems of rishtas in the society) but it is more difficult to marry off a divorced girl even to a divorced/ widowed person because they prefer never married.
Why do we have to submit to this ******* difficult society? is my question. Should society determine the life of an individual? Makes me giddy.
I'm sure one can make a difference in an undivorced person's life too? Personally I have nothing against a divorcee, if everything else fitted a divorcee status wouldn't really bother me (unless there are kids involved)** BUT I wouldn't say marrying a divorcee is validation for a meaningful existence.**
this is because maybe i failed to make my POV clear here. afsos.
we all eat, drink, breathe, marry, reproduce and die. whats so special about it? to me, it would have been a meaningful existence if I had balls enough to support someone who is predecidedly rejected because of the norms of this difficult society of ours. and why not children man? are another one's children aliens or monsters? sigh.
waitwaitwait ok so all the posts here are about divorcees
but widow(er)s? People actually blame them?!!
No sara, people really dont "blame" them but they think ok fine they have lived their life and thats it. How many would actually prefer a widow over a virgin? Is it like a virgin deserves and qualifies more to get married then a widow? Oh but I remember, virginity sells! duh.
I always wished secretly that I might marry some widow with a couple of lovely children I could take care of. The idea of mending broken hearts and taking care of those who need has always moved me. But I was destined to marry one kora seedha saadha shareef admi anyway. Life is a wonderful blessing, and we can help someone reopening their windows to the horizons of rainbow. I know many people think like I do, and have done that too, and those are the gems actually I atleast would take it as a true gesture of large heartedness, goodwill and chivalry
By your post..i assume you would approve of some guy marrying a divorcee or widow as a second wife?? and the first wife can do her part in this gesture of large heartedness,goodwill and chivalry...right??.......
By your post..i assume you would approve of some guy marrying a divorcee or widow as a second wife?? and the first wife can do her part in this gesture of large heartedness,goodwill and chivalry...right??.......
^you based your support for especially marrying divorced/widowed people as it is something of a noble deed.......what i asked is also about marrying a divorced/widowed .....
anyways ...its ok...you support challenging society based on intent of noble deeds in only few circumstances......not all...
