Whats such a heck about it? I obviously borrowed this idea from another thread going on but that one dealt with a particular situation and I wish an open discussion. Why do people shy away from marrying a divorced or a widower. Specially when it were not their fault. Why do most of the people want to prefer “brand new” model. such a typical narrow mentality. Does that really matter? I might sound idealistic here, but I feel such people could be better life partners because maybe they have learned such lessons from life it takes time and heavy toll to. And tending a broken heart, shouldnt it make one feel like a life line, an angel. This is our attitude actually which thins down options for the divorced and the widows/ers. I wish people were generous and more practical. I mean, you never know really if your life partner were virgin or what, so not a little large heartedness and bothering less about brand new issue.
Re: Marrying a divorced or a widow/ widower
I agree with the idea that some of these people especiallyt hat those that end up this way did so by no fault. With Divorcee’s it’s difficuilt but as for Widows/widowers giving them a second chance seems the right thing to do especially socially since many of them will only be given a second chance at life.
I think the stigma is universall though people fear wanderers… dont matter where you go there will always be the danger mentality. 
Re: Marrying a divorced or a widow/ widower
I understand your sentiments but what you're essentially saying is we should all force ourselves to agree with something that does fall in the realm of individual rights. We have a right to prequalify our partners and there's absolutely no harm in that. You cannot hold anyone accountable if they don't want to marry a divorcee, just the way we're entitled to have pre-requisites like a career, a temperament, height, weight, family, religion, etc... Why force yourself to agree with something you don't? Religion and morals dictate we are free to choose, why not use those rights? Its only fair.
Yeah, the world could do with people open to such marriages but really, I will not judge anyone if they don't want to marry divorcees. From a religious POV its entirely alright; Prophet Muhammad (SAW) married a divorced woman, she was his most cherished wife. I like to think I'd be open to someone based on how well I get along with her, her dreams and aspirations, her values and how she looks (We all judge) before her being never married/divorced. But I have no problems defending people who want to have qualifiers, we're all entitled to that.
Re: Marrying a divorced or a widow/ widower
the irony is, most of the time we reject such option for the best ones, and what if those best ones may turn out to be what we could have been afraid of, all life. I think it serves such people well then.
I always wished secretly that I might marry some widow with a couple of lovely children I could take care of. The idea of mending broken hearts and taking care of those who need has always moved me. But I was destined to marry one kora seedha saadha shareef admi anyway.
Life is a wonderful blessing, and we can help someone reopening their windows to the horizons of rainbow. I know many people think like I do, and have done that too, and those are the gems actually :k: I atleast would take it as a true gesture of large heartedness, goodwill and chivalry :k:
Re: Marrying a divorced or a widow/ widower
The idea of mending broken hearts and taking care of those who need has always moved me.
I'm sure you mean well but that sounds like charity.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is before considering never married/divorced we should look at compatibility to an extent (Don't want a cookie cutter clone) but its a free world!
Re: Marrying a divorced or a widow/ widower
I'm sure you mean well but that sounds like charity.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is before considering never married/divorced we should look at compatibility to an extent (Don't want a cookie cutter clone) but its a free world!
well its the way we take it. I would take it as a meaningful existence. wouldnt it be? That I could actually make difference in someone's life. much beyond something you simply put as a charity.
Re: Marrying a divorced or a widow/ widower
are we talking cougars?
Re: Marrying a divorced or a widow/ widower
virginity sells.
Re: Marrying a divorced or a widow/ widower
because there are buyers in the market :k:
Re: Marrying a divorced or a widow/ widower
Whats such a heck about it? I obviously borrowed this idea from another thread going on but that one dealt with a particular situation and I wish an open discussion. Why do people shy away from marrying a divorced or a widower. Specially when it were not their fault. Why do most of the people want to prefer "brand new" model. such a typical narrow mentality. Does that really matter? I might sound idealistic here, but I feel such people could be better life partners because maybe they have learned such lessons from life it takes time and heavy toll to. And tending a broken heart, shouldnt it make one feel like a life line, an angel. This is our attitude actually which thins down options for the divorced and the widows/ers. I wish people were generous and more practical. I mean, you never know really if your life partner were virgin or what, so not a little large heartedness and bothering less about brand new issue.
Agree with most you said.
However, people shoud feel free to choose whatever they like.
Age difference, prior divorce, beauty, skin color.... whatever issues should be left upon the person who is actually going to live with other person. One can try to reason with them but cannot force.
Yeh Dilon Ke Sauday Hain. Aqal Ke Kum, Dil Ke Ziada.
Both heart and mind need to be used but if heart does not agree with mind then why have relation?
Re: Marrying a divorced or a widow/ widower
Their should be no stigma for marrying divorced. But in our f-uped society, it is actually quite a norm to marry only virgin.
Re: Marrying a divorced or a widow/ widower
Well my fiance was divorced (has children), but he is a great human being, he understands me completely, I believe that you should give everyone a chance because you never know who will be that person who will love you like no one else can.
Re: Marrying a divorced or a widow/ widower
**i'll take about the subject from Islamic perspective, iA.
in Islam, marrying a widowed or a divorced woman is highly encouraged and for which Allah has promised a great reward. this act of kindness of marrying such women and providing shelter and sustenance is an act of Hasanah. u become a loving and caring husband and a responsible and affectionate father to her children is NOT only kindness but u also effectively raise a child to become a productive member of the society...this is sadaqa-e-jaariyah.
the REVERSE is also very much TRUE! a woman marrying a divorced or a widowed man is an act of kindness in the sight of Allah.
May Allah bless all those men and who, in this cruel society, dare to step up to the plate and show kindness and responsibility in order to make this world a better place to live. aameen. :)**
Re: Marrying a divorced or a widow/ widower
you spoke ma mind mirage, really i couldn't have said it better myself. i wish more desis thought like you........
Re: Marrying a divorced or a widow/ widower
well its the way we take it. I would take it as a meaningful existence. wouldnt it be? That I could actually make difference in someone's life. much beyond something you simply put as a charity.
I'm sure one can make a difference in an undivorced person's life too? Personally I have nothing against a divorcee, if everything else fitted a divorcee status wouldn't really bother me (unless there are kids involved) BUT I wouldn't say marrying a divorcee is validation for a meaningful existence.
Re: Marrying a divorced or a widow/ widower
If we're talking about divorced/widowed well I personally couldn't fault/judge a person for that and it wouldn't influence my decision for a rishta.
BUT the idea of marrying your dead sibling's spouse doesn't sit well with me in any case really.
If the dude got divorced after 3 months, it shows he wasn't into her to begin with and did it either out of emotion and/or family pressure.
Re: Marrying a divorced or a widow/ widower
No one has a problem dating someone whose dated someone else bofore them...but when shadi comes around, it's all "i want saaf suthri"
Re: Marrying a divorced or a widow/ widower
Why do people shy away from marrying a divorced or a widower. Specially when it were not their fault.
waitwaitwait ok so all the posts here are about divorcees
but widow(er)s? People actually blame them?!!
Re: Marrying a divorced or a widow/ widower
I have issues when people call unmarried or never married people Brand New or Clean. By their definition, as soon as they marry…they are also unclean and Puranay now.
Re: Marrying a divorced or a widow/ widower