Have any of u had that experience , if so plz share the good and bad experinces
what are the commonly encountered problems ?
girl i am interested in converted on her own some yrs back, so she is not convering for marriage which is a big red flag for me
Re: Marrying a convert
People from different backgrounds have different mentalities. I have seen people with different religions spend happy lives together and also people with same religions end up miserably in divorce. Marry someone who is mentally compatible with you, not somebody who is the same religion..!
Re: Marrying a convert
YP - I think he meant some people when they convert for marriage - THAT's a red flag for him. lol.
Re: Marrying a convert
^ Right SU... I edited my post.....
It's just that it bothers me when people don't punctuate properly so that their point is clear...
By the way, are you stalking me again?:p
Re: Marrying a convert
^ okay now u know what i meant good , as for marrying for mental compatibility that is not going to work if she is of a different faith...as i live in a nonmuslim country
here it is hard enuf to adhere to ur faith and teach it to ur kids , good luck 2 u if u marry a christian or jew
simply roza salat etc is not faith
Re: Marrying a convert
^ So you're implying people of different faiths aren't mentally compatible??
As for my comment about marrying not based on religion; You should not marry someone ONLY because you feel they're the same religion as you.
Plus if you're so bound on teaching your kids Islam, then maybe you should specifically seek out the staunch muslim girls and commit to them..?
Re: Marrying a convert
^ for men ...only those for whom faith is not of primary importance in life why else wud u marry a nonmuslim when there are hundreds of thousands of muslim girls avalible]
secondly they have the good fortune of living in a muslim country where it is acceptable to marry nonmuslim and also have a reasonable chance to raising kids good muslim
as for women marrying nonmuslim men thats totally forbidden anyway
^ Plus if you're so bound on teaching your kids Islam, then maybe you should specifically seek out the staunch muslim girls and commit to them..?
this convert girl is a very staunch muslim even more than most born muslim girls that i have meet...
mashallah she only wants to do hajj after marriage , where as most born muslim girls i spoke with were already making plans for paris, rome etc
just shows u where there priorities are
Re: Marrying a convert
Ok, let me get something straight before we stray away from the point. You are interested in a girl who is a muslim -- A recent convert. You want to raise muslim kids. You live in a predominant non-muslim society.
What's the problem? She's a muslim, you're a muslim, you want muslim kids.
So is your issue the fact that the society you live in will lure her back into a non muslim lifestyle and that living in a muslim country will not give her that option?
Anyway, like I said, if you are mentally compatible, you should go for it. And please, look at this phrase "mentally compatible" on it's full scale. Mentally compatible people "think" alike. They have similar goals and ideals in life. They want a similar future for themselves, for their kids and their families. They have similar ideas on how to raise a family.
So then. If you are mentally compatible, then religion, class, society, or any other irrelevant difference will not be an issue.
Anyway, like I said, if you are mentally compatible, you should go for it. And please, look at this phrase "mentally compatible" on it's full scale. Mentally compatible people "think" alike. They have similar goals and ideals in life. They want a similar future for themselves, for their kids and their families. They have similar ideas on how to raise a family. So then. If you are mentally compatible, then religion, class, society, or any other irrelevant difference will not be an issue.
religion affects every aspect of our lives , so how can this be irrelevant ? and how can i have similar ideas with someone for whom religion is just roza, namaz and nothing else ?
but thanks for ur replies
Re: Marrying a convert
^ She is a muslim right????? So are you??????
Then seriously! What is your problem???
I am a convert married to a Pakistani-born muslim, and alhamdulillah we have been happily married for more than 16 years and have four children. I converted several years before I met my husband. A convert could be a good choice for you if you are religious, because most of us are dedicated to constantly improving our knowledge of the deen. She will insh'Allah be a dedicated and loving mother to your child.
Like any marriage, we have had our ups and downs, but very few of our arguments have occurred because of cultural differences. We disagree from time to time about the same things everyone does.
That said, if your culture is the central focus in your life, or if your parents, brothers, and sisters will be living with you from day one, please do not ruin her life or yours. While we are happy to care for your parents when they are elderly or ill (many of our grandparents lived with our families at some point), we were not raised with the joint family system where perfectly healthy and active adults all live together. We have a certain expectation of privacy and know enough about Islam not to allow your brother to live with us. We have also been raised with a certain amount of independence, and are perfectly capable of going to the grocery, doing the shopping, going to the library, etc. without you in tow. Also keep in mind that she has obligations to her family, even if they are non-muslim.
Insh'Allah you will be very happy together, but you should both lay out your expectations ahead of time, and be very clear about what you want. Most of us cook Pakistani food nearly every night and wear salwar kameez (I am a hijabi), but we are NOT Pakistani, so please do not marry her with the intention of turning her into that
:-).
Re: Marrying a convert
^ thank you for sharing ur opinion.
actually i hate all desi culture , i only follow it grudingly as long as does not contradict islam
i like western culture as long as its compatible with islam.
so religion trumps everything but when it comes to choose between cultures i prefer western
Re: Marrying a convert
converts (reverts as some say) who convert to Islam on their own from my experience turn out to be very pious, God-fearing Muslims....even more so then those that were born into the religion. They chose this religion for themselves most likely because they researched it and felt some connection to it. They dont take the religion for granted like many of us do.
If she is a good Muslim....go for it!! don't buy into the whole cross-cultural crap! Islam should be the basis of your relationship first and foremost not culture.
As far as personal experience is concerned...I have quite a few friends who are converts and they married to arabs and some to desi's. They seem to be happy and dont have any MAJOR issues with their marriage.
i just read this after posting…
I agree :k:
then you should not have a problem pursuing this girl.
^ thank you for sharing ur opinion. actually i hate all desi culture , i only follow it grudingly as long as does not contradict islam i like western culture as long as its compatible with islam. so religion trumps everything but when it comes to choose between cultures i prefer western
Then marry her!!!!! It seems as if you're answering your own questions here.
Just let me know when I should say Congratulations!!!
No sh*t.
Irritating, isn’t it? 
Re: Marrying a convert
i know of two couples. in both the cases wives were non-muslims n guys are born.
case 1…u cant really tell either she is muslim or hindu.
case 2 …seems very practicing muslim. 
lol she got nicer style though