you love or the one that loves you?
So recently my mum has been giving me examples of daughters of friends where the girl was pursued by the guy and even though the girl was reluctant to say yes, she eventually said yes and is now blissfully happy 
My mum’s point is that it’s better to marry the one who loves you more, because he’ll appreciate you more and take better care of you.
Do you agree?
Re: Marry the one...
ahan i agree ... but its hard to do that man
ahan i agree ... but its hard to do that man
Why?
Re: Marry the one…
its better to marry the one who loves you and its best if the love is reciprocal and mutual 
Re: Marry the one...
If you marry the one that loves you he/she will listen to you because if there is anything needed in a successful marriage is for the couple to at least, sometime, just for a second, listen to what the other is saying and understand what they are going through.
Of course it would be ideal if the love was reciprocated in equal measure - but that’s not always the case. So then the question is - if he loves you, do you wait and hope that eventually you feel the same way about him or do not take a chance and walk away?
its definitely the right thing to do...its just harder to initially get yourself to agree to
Why?
Because you always want the one you love instead of the one that loves you ... stupid human nature
Re: Marry the one…
Marry the one you are physically attracted too ! 
Because you always want the one you love instead of the one that loves you ... stupid human nature
But assume there is no third person/wheel - it's just you and the other person. They love you madly/passionately and yet you don't feel very deeply about them - do you feel grateful for their love and devotion and make a commitment hoping that one day you will return their feelings or do you walk away?
I think waiting for sometime wont do any harm…who knows…he might feel the same for you…but seriouslyy…i think its not possible to fall in love at the same time with one another…like the case…“he saw me n i saw him and we fell in love” 
its actually rare…someone has to take the initiative n let the other person know about how he/she feels…and when A feels special and knows that B loves and cares so much for him/her…they (in most of the cases) start respecting them n from there onwards…the reciprocal love begins! 
So my answer to your initial question is…if you dont love anyone…n you know theres someone who loves you n wanna marry you…then go for it…eventually you will develop feelings for him too…even in arranged marriages…people get attached a lot within a month of being married to one another…the scenario you mentioned is still much better 
p.s. to marry someone who loves you is tough if you love someone else…but if that someone doesnot love you…even when knowing about your feelings…he/she is not worth of your affection…its better to give it to someone who actually deserves it!!!
Re: Marry the one...
I think women like being loved , and men like to give love . So yea aunty je is right , it should work .
Btw I just realized aunty je's and my thought process is so similar . We should talk sometime . Isn't it Sehrysh :@:
Many popular quotations are too idealistic and I've always found this one to be among them.
The person who "loves you more" also needs reciprocation....or it isn't fair and it won't work.
And if you''re neither attracted to nor love the person in return.....then what's the point of marrying the person (no matter how crazy he/she is about you).
It may be rare but of course it happens! There is such a thing as ‘chemistry.’ There’s nothing wrong with holding out for that because it does exist.
The reciprocal love doesn’t always happen if there wasn’t any love there to begin with. This has happened with quite a few of my friends 
Of course, if it is an arranged marriage then it is a completely different scenario.
Being a guy, I would not be interested in someone if she loves me and I don't love her. Even if I have to marry her, I won't be able to keep her happy.
All of this is coming from the fact that I showed my mum a picture of her cousin “Mimi” on Facebook (one of those mamu-zaad/chacha-zaad ki beti waala rishtas ). Her cousin is my age. When we were in Pakistan 5 years ago, Mimi was totally opposed to saying yes to the guy she is now married to. She wasn’t attracted to him, she wasn’t in love with him.
Her entire family spoke to her and convinced her that the guy was crazy about her and that he would be keep her happy. Even 3 weeks before the wedding Mimi moonh bana rahee thi - saying I’m not happy about the wedding, yada, yada, yada.
Now five years later she has a beautiful little boy and in pictures and according to her brother and sister, she’s m’A, very happy with her husband.
So my mum keeps using Mimi and a couple of other girls from our social circle to make her argument that it’s better to say yes to the one that pursues you :hinna:
Aunty-jee can be quite scary. When she got a call from a guy asking for one of her girls a few weeks back, she didn’t know who the guy was since he didn’t give his name right away. She was about to daant the guy (whose mum she had already spoken to), kai aap ko meri beti sai kya kaam hai and then he finally managed to clue her in about who he was 
It may be rare but of course it happens! There is such a thing as 'chemistry.' There's nothing wrong with holding out for that because it does exist.
The reciprocal love doesn't always happen if there wasn't any love there to begin with. This has happened with quite a few of my friends :(
Of course, if it is an arranged marriage then it is a completely different scenario.
yups...thats y i said it is ""rare" :)
Re: Marry the one...
I heard this dialougue in some bollywood film so I completely agree with it :@:
Re: Marry the one...
i wana write that u love once so might as well love where ur heart is not because its safe and convenient but reality is when i chose this path i got nothing but misery n when i chose the path of going with someone who loves me im happy n in love with him..so guess wat i support?