Those of you females who are married and working, how does the entertainment expense part is managed between you and your spouse.
When you go out for dinners does your:
husband pays the bill always or
At times he pays and at other times you both split or
At times you pay for and sometimes you split
Also, when you go out for vacation, do you split the cost or the husband pays? or you pay?
Re: Married Working Females
We operate under the assumption that money is a shared resource. There is no he or she, we married, foo. its ours.
Re: Married Working Females
it us never pre planned.actually that who z gonna spend money. almost shared
Re: Married Working Females
Once married, every thing is shared, although both of us maintain our banking accounts but that is more to keep our statuses with the banks etc.
Re: Married Working Females
Although all our finances are separate, we treat all money as “ours”. Husband pays for all vacations because he’s the one who books the plane tickets/hotels etc. Majority of the time husband pays for dinner but I don’t hesitate paying with my card if for example, husband isn’t at the table when the check is dropped off. I also got a new credit card recently and had to spend a certain amount to get the points so for the last month or so, I’ve been paying for all dinner/entertainment outings just to hit that limit.
Re: Married Working Females
All $$ is shared.. there is no - your money my money.
Re: Married Working Females
However, i do know of couples who dont share their money but split things up. Some will refuse to even show their bank accounts to the other ..
For ex, the wife will pay for all household items like soap, food baby clothes, car insurance, etc .. while the husband will pay for dining out, rent ..
it’s really just a personal choice
Re: Married Working Females
Wife’s money is only her’s to spend as she likes! what I earn we share equally!
Re: Married Working Females
We share. Whatever she makes is mine…whatever I make is ours.
Re: Married Working Females
Shared accounts and all money is our money.
Re: Married Working Females
I’ve seen it where there are still separate accounts even after they are married because when one person buys something that the other objects to, that will cause arguments over the finances. This way, both have the freedom to do what they want with the money in their own accounts. “Why did you buy this dress or why did you buy such an expensive pair of earrings” wouldn’t be such an issue if one is a saver and the other is a spender. This is one of the top 10 reasons for divorce, financially incompatible people.
Re: Married Working Females
I would say if you have to keep your earnings from your spouse, that is as financially incompatible as it gets. How do you plan for all the big things in life you expect to share together?
Re: Married Working Females
Marrying someone with similar financial habits\goals would be a lot more effective than maintaining separate accounts.
I don’t think I could live with someone who is comfortable living paycheck to paycheck. Or someone who has a ton of loans but still borrows recklessly (I’m referring to a situation where a person is done with school and has job that pays decent money). That might be socially acceptable but it does not sit right with me.
Re: Married Working Females
OK so it seems that lot of people are okay with sharing finances and wife contributing to pay for vacations/leisure etc as well as for household stuff.
i don’t know, may be i am still old school and idea of having a wife paying or contributing for things, doesn’t sit well with me.
Re: Married Working Females
some of my friends and I myself have been contributing equally but at some point in life it seems it is husband;'s responsibility to fulfill basic needs n woman should save for herself or kids but i know thats not possible…
Re: Married Working Females
I’m not married but I don’t mind paying for a guy as long as he cooks, cleans and pops out babies.
Re: Married Working Females
Yes, once you start contributing equally it gets difficult to withdraw at later stages.
Re: Married Working Females
There is no right or wrong answer to this. Every couple has different values and should do what works best for their home. My husband and I treat both of our salaries as “ours” and that works for us. If you believe that your salary is 100% yours and don’t want to spend a single penny towards family expenses, then all you need to do is find a husband who also has that same belief (and plenty of men do) and there won’t be any issues.
Marriage is not about keeping things “equal.” Whether it’s money, household chores or taking care of the kids…it’s ridiculous to think that everything will be a equal 50/50 at all times. That’s how issues like resentment happen. I contribute financially when I can but it’s far from an equal 50% of all our expenses/spending simply because my husband makes far more money than I do. Neither of us ever keep track of how much I’m contributing. With household chores, my husband helps out a lot but I don’t keep track of whether it’s shared equally. This is not a roommate situation. It’s a “us”. Both of us contribute to the best of our ability in order to make things better for BOTH of us with every single aspect of our lives.
Re: Married Working Females
My salary goes straight into home loan account to pay off loan. Whereas hubby pays for all other expenses and pays me allowance too.
We know people who won’t use wifes income at all as islamically husband should be responsible. If needed they do borrow from wife than return. She gets to keep her income.
Re: Married Working Females
My husband and I don’t really interfere with each other’s finances. He wants to pay for everything related to the household and will pay me back if he borrows a larger sum but he’s more than happy for me to buy smaller stuff with him. I obviously pay for my own personal belongings like clothes, shoes, car etc. I paid for my own Hajj too because Islam does acknowledge a woman’s earnings and it’s my duty to pay for it if I can afford it.