I think if my husband was concerned about something he would let me know and we would discuss it like adults. Similarly, if I had a concern, I would bring it up and we would sort it out.
No one is anyone's property for God's sake. It's a matter of mutual respect and understanding. Why get so emotional about it?
Well said, it is a two way traffic. The problem rises when one spouse starts thinking that "only he" has the right of positive criticism on his spouse's activities and "only his spouse" should give a positive response to his criticizm.