What would you consider a reasonable amount of time the husband spends out with his friends per week or month.
First how much time for a good trustworthy husband and then how much time for someone who is a regular liar and has been unfaithful in the past.
Mine spends every spare waking moment with his so called friends. At least seven hours a day.
Re: Married people with kids - tell me
Out of 24! Monday to Friday
- Time for sleep = 7 to 8 hours (12PM to 8AM)
- Time for Job including, shower, drive time = 10 hours ( 8 AM to 6 PM)
- Time for kids = 2 hours (in between 6pm to 8pm)
- Time for Parents = 1 hour (In between 8 to 9 PM)
Time for Wife = 3 hours (Including pillow talks and ...) (in between 9-12pm)
Saturday for Friends or outing
Sunday for Parents and Siblings (from both)
I follow this chart :-)
Re: Married people with kids - tell me
I think spending 7 hours everyday with friends is inappropriate for a husband…whether they have children or not. If the wife is with him, then I think it’s ok b/c I know quite a few couples where the husband AND wife hang out with their friends TOGETHER almost every evening.
I’m not married so I can’t speak for personal experience. But one of my closest friends just had a baby this summer. Her husband spends every Sunday with his friends watching football. My friend and him talked about this before marriage and decided that Sundays are “his” days and she won’t complain if he spends every Sunday with his friends.
But Monday through Saturday, he spend all his spare time with his wife and now their new baby.
Why don’t you and your husband try to become friends with other couples where BOTH of you can go and hang out with them together?
Re: Married people with kids - tell me
regular liar and unfaithful in the past.
I would suggest some serious marriage counseling. The professional kind, not the Life1 kind. And then to top it off, family intervention (his family, your family). Last resort should be divorce. I personally can't recommend anything, nor can anyone else here really, since we don't know the details.
Marriage counselors, if you find the right one, can be a gem.
Re: Married people with kids - tell me
By the way, he should be at work for most part of the day. Or with the kids if you're the bread earner. And then he should spend the bulk of the remainder of his day with the kids, because children do need their dad. 7 hours a day with friends, every day of the week? That's absurd.
Re: Married people with kids - tell me
I would suggest some serious marriage counseling. The professional kind, not the Life1 kind.
You should have stopped right there and not carried on with the regular pcg kind of advice:p
Re: Married people with kids - tell me
ROFL^
Re: Married people with kids - tell me
Sometimes I wish their were age barriers upon posting responses.
What our resident tweens and teens fail to realize is that what 'should' be the case is often not what 'is' the case.
Hence the dillemmas, frustrations, and thriving gupshup threads.
Re: Married people with kids - tell me
teens and tweens? Nope, not me. This situation is just not acceptable. at all. Nope, so solly. Friends or kids hmmmmm. If not kids then he shudnt'a had 'em. Kids need their Dad. If he wants to party like a college kid then he shuldnt'a had kids.
Re: Married people with kids - tell me
I have to disagree with the family intervention part. Issues between a husband and a wife, should remain between a husband and a wife. Family intervention will only cause more problems.
Re: Married people with kids - tell me
i think it depends on scenario to scenario.. family intervention in the issue like above would definitely help. like his parents and her parents can advice him how important is for him to spend some time with his kids and that kinda stuff, but suggestions for divorce :nono:on such a pity issue is way too off the horizon.
Re: Married people with kids - tell me
very true :k:
other family meembers just add fuel to the fire.
Re: Married people with kids - tell me
Depends how much time he has available to give to his family...work schedules of both parents etc....ppl i know who have kids, most of them naturally want to spend time with their kids...but of course, not every single minute of the day...u wud probably need lots of time for urself, as well as couple time (without kids)...where i work, a lot of parents complain they don't have enough "alone" or "couple" time...that all their time is spent with their kids...so no doubt, giving ur kids time is precious and very important...but don't forget to nurture ur marriage also.
As for ur situation...firstly, i don't think whether he is a "good trustworthy husband" or not is relevant to how much time he spends with u or the kids...but secondly, i know how it feels to be with someone who has lied in the past...but u know, the more u try to keep a tight fist with him, the more the situation will worsen...that's wot i think, personally...of course, he needs to be aware of how u feel about all this...so please, tell him, cos he may have no idea...so r u saying he spends zero time with u then? That is very wrong, esp. cos of wot happened in the past...having his friends is one thing, but u r his wife, and shud also be his friend too...so he needs to give u a lot of time also..."at least seven hours a day" that's a lot! I suggest u two openly communicate about this issue...if u love each other, u'll work it out...good luck to u :)
Re: Married people with kids - tell me
Family intervention is tricky, I do agree. It only works with the right family members, which often in Pakistani culture...yes, I agree, with most Pakistanis it wont work.
But you never know. Maybe this woman has good family members that are not overly interfering.
Re: Married people with kids - tell me
Time with friends: 12 hours a day.
Time with gumah: 6 hours a day
I'd imagine its sorta kinda like that.
Re: Married people with kids - tell me
I think you my be one of my bhabis
Re: Married people with kids - tell me
Since my marriage, i give no time to my friends, the only ones that i RARELY visit, like once or twice a year, are those who's wives are friends of my wife. If i go out to play or to gym, i try to take kids and wife with me. Yet my wife complains, i do not give enough time to family. Wives keep asking.
Re: Married people with kids - tell me
Why are you with this guy 
Re: Married people with kids - tell me
cause you were already taken, honey.
Re: Married people with kids - tell me
There is obviously a problem here.
Get counselling and keep insisting until he agrees to go.