Re: Married in one week in Pakistan! ABCD guy to “fob” girl. Worried but hopeful...
Not trying to offend, but for the most part, a guy in his mid-twenties who reads and posts (even if its very little) on a "gupshup" forum is NOT as amreekan or abcd as he would like to think. you will both be fine because you'll only be doing as much adjusting as any other newly married couple, regardless of how much english or how little urdu you claim to know. sorry.
Re: Married in one week in Pakistan! ABCD guy to “fob” girl. Worried but hopeful...
dude. which program are you in? residency or an MBA?
Maybe he's espashaly smart na?
Re: Married in one week in Pakistan! ABCD guy to “fob” girl. Worried but hopeful...
I guess an ivy-league education can't prevent a person from being a complete idiot. You led a girl on for seven years because you were too afraid to say anything and now a week to go before the wedding you are seriously considering backing out? Perhaps you should've done your due diligence before the invites were sent, the hall was booked, the clothes were bought AND most importantly a nice, young girl got attached to the likes of you. I'd hate to have someone as cold and irresponsible as you as my future physician.
Re: Married in one week in Pakistan! ABCD guy to “fob” girl. Worried but hopeful...
How much you guys wanna bet he is a troll planted specifically to p*** me off?
You'd think that's being paranoid, but wouldn't put it past some people.
Re: Married in one week in Pakistan! ABCD guy to “fob” girl. Worried but hopeful…
Maybe it’s one of those concurrent programs. Or maybe once he’s done with his residency he will apply for an MBA and even then his honay wali woh would not have finished her MBA 
the possibilites are endless!
Married in one week in Pakistan! ABCD guy to “fob” girl. Worried but hopeful...
Hahahahaha. yaara. good luck. 7 yrs is a LONG time to be in touch with someone. I'm sure you'd manage. I know a couple of girls from Pak who adjusted with an ABCD husband. Just don't remain so confused on desi things . :P
Once she arrives in the US, show her around, let her adjust. Sooner or later she will be fine with the way of life in the US
Re: Married in one week in Pakistan! ABCD guy to “fob” girl. Worried but hopeful…
Simple - don’t marry her and cause her a lifetime of misery. 
Re: Married in one week in Pakistan! ABCD guy to “fob” girl. Worried but hopeful…
Think of the 7 years she waited for you (with or without your fault)… and now 7 days before marriage you are having doubts. :smack:
I hope you make a wise decision, as Rehman Malik baba says that 70% killings in Karachi are planned by girl friends and wives (including future as well)… Cycle of violence: Mr Rehman Malik, meet Karachi
Re: Married in one week in Pakistan! ABCD guy to “fob” girl. Worried but hopeful...
Haha!
Women adjust much faster and more easily than anyone. She'll be fine...it might take her some time, but if you're kind and supportive...help her put herself out there...you shouldn't have any issues.
Re: Married in one week in Pakistan! ABCD guy to “fob” girl. Worried but hopeful...
What constitutes "well educated"...?
Re: Married in one week in Pakistan! ABCD guy to “fob” girl. Worried but hopeful...
OK guys, I apologize if I am offending anyone by putting labels but it’s the easiest way to paint a black and white picture. I will attempt to add colors and make it 3-dimensional like the people we are.
Just a bit about me, I am a 28 yo guy born and raised in the US. Attended an ivy undergraduate and medical school now currently training in a highly competitive residency. In terms of my personality, I am a very open, compromising, easy going, not religious person with very American wealth building values. My parents came from Pakistan in the 80’s, mom never educated, and dad has a bachelor’s degree in engineering. They did not assimilate much, are religious, and still strictly adhere to the family values/customs.
I moved out of the house at 18 when I started college and haven’t really looked back. I come home here and there, whenever I can to visit my parents but really it’s only about a** total of 4-6w/ year*. While growing up however, I was always around my cousins and extended family, most of my time was spent at Islamic schools, so I learned a great deal about the **culture/religion but most of it doesn’t appeal to me.* I had a good time in college and all but given the failure of my parents to assimilate, my marriage has always been a big deal to them. About 7 years ago now, my folks said, “look, this is the girl you are marrying, talk to her.” I couldn’t break their heart because they’ve done everything for me so I did. We’ve been talking on and off, I’ve never met this girl because I’ve never had time to go back, and somehow I still agreed when recently asked about pursuing the marriage (mixed thoughts including family pressure, not sure if I was going ot find someone, been talking to her for a while now, etc.). So now the wedding is in a week and im flipping out because I am not sure how she is going to adjust and how we will do!
A little about her: She is 24, lives in Karachi, well off, family not well educated but still wealthy, she has a bcom from a gov’t school (says shes working on her mba, yet I will have my MBA before her) has never worked or driven a car. However, she is very open about change (of course she’s scared), speaks to me in English (because I don’t speak anything else—yes communication is difficult), states that she is willing to work and says she’s culturally tolerant. It’s obviously hard to gauge all of these things but the fact that she’s saying so, is as scared/worried about the relationship as I am, and wanting to make it work all seem like good signs.
What I am most worried about his how she is going to adjust to the lifestyle here. She is coming from a big joint family to be living in a home with just me and her (which is good bc it’s just us, last thing I want is my family there because I want her to adjust my way). Kid’s are on hold for atleast 2-3 years. She will be fine with the family, but I am concerned about how she will adjust with my friends and the culture in general. Most all of my friends are desi guys from here married to desi girls from here—it’s going to be very awkward and difficult for her. She will be lost and I am sure I will be frustrated.
I just wanted your thoughts on my situation. Do you know similar people in this boat? How have they adjusted?
Thats quite a saga. I dont understand how could you agree to this arranged marriage 7 years ago. I think there is more to the story.
I have bolded the relevant parts.
Why didnt you find a desi girl from here like your friends that could suit your lifestyle as you would want it?
Re: Married in one week in Pakistan! ABCD guy to “fob” girl. Worried but hopeful...
What constitutes "well educated"...?
Evidently it's an undergrad from an Ivy, an MBA and an MD. Although I have to question this guy's financial sense because unless his Pakistani educated dad with an undergrad engineering degree has Zardari's accountants, homeboy probably has student loans in excess of 500k. Of course, I'm assuming his MBA is also from HSW because anything else might as well be a B.Com from a "gov't" college in Karachi.
Re: Married in one week in Pakistan! ABCD guy to “fob” girl. Worried but hopeful...
wow a series of responses. Thank you for the helpful ones, you know who you are. I am going into it with an open mind and hoping for the best. Thanks!
btw, yes loans out the wazoo and still accruing, currently in residency, getting an online mba from UNC at my own pace.
Re: Married in one week in Pakistan! ABCD guy to “fob” girl. Worried but hopeful...
This wont start or end too well. Doubts a week before wedding.
You're clearly a smart individual with a high level of education. On that front she doesn't come close and I feel you won't be on the same 'level' as to speak.
Naturally, if you work at any aspect of your life to complement your partners it can certainly work.
I'm just worried you're on the other side of the spectrum. You're not very religious and seem liberal? Is she similar or on the other side?
Some questions I guess you need to ask yourself. Either way Good Luck
Re: Married in one week in Pakistan! ABCD guy to “fob” girl. Worried but hopeful...
dude. which program are you in? residency or an MBA?
thats what I was like WHAT THE - not very IVY league of you :p
Re: Married in one week in Pakistan! ABCD guy to “fob” girl. Worried but hopeful...
wow a series of responses. Thank you for the helpful ones, you know who you are. I am going into it with an open mind and hoping for the best. Thanks!
btw, yes loans out the wazoo and still accruing, currently in residency, getting an online mba from UNC at my own pace.
I abhor the arrogant attitude of ppl like you. So "she's working on her MBA" but ur going to get it at ur own pace?
Do the girl a favour and don't marry her.
Re: Married in one week in Pakistan! ABCD guy to “fob” girl. Worried but hopeful…
Re: Married in one week in Pakistan! ABCD guy to “fob” girl. Worried but hopeful...
Lets talk about something positive . Like number of kids .
Re: Married in one week in Pakistan! ABCD guy to “fob” girl. Worried but hopeful...
thanks guys for your input. I really appreciate it.