If a person luvs sum1, have kids from him/her… .Even after kids they were all over each other and just suddenly one of them stops having tht sexual feeling towards his/her spouse. Let me clear it up his/her sexuall feelings r not gone. He/she is just not attracted to tht particular person . he/she feels lyk leaving everything and the relationships duties of kids or hubby/wife are like zanjeerein to him/her but he/she still luvs all of them n yet feels guilty of having tht feeling how shud he/she get rid of this feeling…
He/she told his/her spouse about it and the spouse is tryna help him/her get thru it by telling him/her tht u can go out with friend on the weekend dun worry bout us make new friends or go out for movies freshin ur mind up but him/.her is too attached to his family and dun wanna do all of tht with out his/her family. …
.One shud help tht couple how… ???
FOR PEOPLE HAVING PRBLMS UNDERSTANDING oh bhai this is not my life.. it is my friends life i am just tryna find out sum solution for her …
ssh midlife?? wife is under 25 n hubby is under 30
marwah the prblm is tht both wants to keep the marriage happy n healthy but due to 1 spouse having no attraction to other and having a feeling of leaving everyting and running sumwhere where he/she cud b alone n no one to answer or no one to take care of.. how shud they work on it being on the same page?
Very frankly dis his/her is confusing the issue. U shud understand "he" experiencing lost of attraction is different from "she" experiencing it. And also their age groups matter too.
So in both cases that will b approached differently.
But general sweeping statements cud b made.
In everything dere is a root of issue. Dere cud b some deep underlying reason that the individual is not ready to even share it wid him/herself, not talking about ny inclination towards some outside affair.
So once contemplation or self-reflection throws that reason out from under the dense blankets something cud b done.
BTW loss of attraction does happen but wid some time things again start drifting baq to normalcy.
if its HE..maybe hes extra stressed at work and doesnt have energy for home life and attention towards wife. maybe theres some trouble going on at work, lay offs, stress, new assignment, that sort of thing
if its SHE...how many dids do they have? maybe she is at pt in her life where she is sooo busy with kids and house she isnt giving herself the time she needs. shes feeling lost and unappreciated..hence the negative feelings toward spouse??
ok so wht is HE is experiencing lost of attraction wht shud SHE do then?
the wife is taking full care of hhim luvs him unconditionally tells him no worries dun pay attention to kids ill take care pf them for a week or 2 u just do wht ever u wanna do tryna live a bachelors life even if tht helps u get those feelings bck but still he is saying no i cant do all of tht cuz i luiv u guys so much i cant go out n have fun while u n kids r in house ....
He/she is suffering from depression. He/She Should see a psychiatrist.
The solution is not here on these forums. The problems is complex and deeper than one single line or one single post.
i agree with MIRCH. theres something deeper going on...seems like he has EVERYTHING (if your telling the honest story) that he needs to be satisfied in life...par koi baat hai....
have u tried talking to him about it. does he open up...give u ANY hints on his issue?
ASD ... he told me this enufff is enough for me i mean kon bolega ke i luv u but not attratec to u i duno sumthingi s wrong with me me kyakeron.. he is asking for help but my mashwarays r just not for him i mean goin to a doc or phsy... is not his type... and he said leave it apne wakt se chala jaega but i dun understand wakt se kese jaega if he doesnt do nething bout it he wud just increase tht feelings n khuda na kere do sum harm to himself
So it's ok na den dat he is saying himself he cant leave the family behind cuz loves them.
Over burdened by work cud b causing the loss of attraction. or mebbe some other reason he isnt ready to share.
but if he's truly in luv he will get baq the feelings. Dis happens wid specially the ones who get a lot of attention, dey grow siq of it, and den ven treated normally dey feel better-- if dis is da reason for him to...
Cuz i know cases , being closer to psychology side , ihave observed ppl drifting away for such reasons.
But that doesnt mean the wife has to neglect him, but mebbe bringing the over caring n tooo much attention-giving attitude down a lil.
JJ....he/she needs to bring back some spark within the relationship. The flame that once used to burn within is lost. This is very common after having children. You become tired and stressed out. Couples do not have time to pay attention to each other and their needs because they pour every ounce of what they have into their children. They need to find a balance b/w being parents and being lovers. This takes time, dedication and a whole lot of patience. If he/she love each other then they should be more then willing to give it a try.
There is hope for this relationship...if the love is still there the rest will follow.
Since it is he. It is clearly a sign of depression. He is under stress at his work/job/business or for some other reason he is suffering from depression.
It is curable. He should see a psychiatrist immediately.
There is tons of material on internet on this topic where men lose interest in spouse. Read those article to enlighten yourself and that person.
slowM.. i think u all r ryt in ur own ways n basically saying the same thing i was thinkn of it too and so i think i shud just let him be as wht i told him tht he shud go out n enjoy stop thinkn bout us i can tc of all of tht...
AE spark is gone cuz of the depression he is going thru from but i know he will cum bck :)
Mirch now tht u just said thtm ayb yes he is having prblms tht he dun wnna share bout his own family ... but if he can share how he feels bout me h can also share his family prblms ryt?
If he is saying that he’s not feeling the attraction towards his wife then sending him off to his friends while his wife watches the kids is the wrong move.
She needs to send their kids off somewhere while the COUPLE spends times with each other.
Is the girl taking care of herself? after having kids women put on a lot of weight and many of them (especially desi’s) dont do anything about losing it. Maybe he isnt attracted to her because she isnt taking care of herself (ie weight, hair, they way of dressing etc). If its not that and she is giving him attention…then is he gayyyy?? :aq:
AE spark is gone cuz of the depression he is going thru from but i know he will cum bck :)
oh ok. sorry I must have not read that part. JJ this happened to my cousins husband as well. this guy may be suffering from chronic depression. lost of interest in the spouse (or anything or anyone for that matter)and sex is a common symptom. he needs help. make him go. things will get better iA once he is treated.
Jaanwar lolz.. ur so extraa.. i m not talkn bout having sex tapes n roleplay lolzz.. m sure u know ME better then tht...
but prblm is from his side...*. its not like he dun wanna cum near me the prblm is him thinkn ke ab yeh sab rishtey zanjeerein bun rahi he as in the ppl he luv r keeping him away from who he is... u knw wht i mean,.... *
Human psychology is more complex than that. He shared with you what he thought was relevant to you. In his opinion , the problems related to his own family are not your problems and they are his problems so out of his machoness or for his love for you and his own family he does not want to burden you with them. That is why he is not sharing those.
You can tell him that out of your love for him you have taken an appointment with a psychiatrist and would love to accompany him to that appointment. Trust me the solution to his and your problems is at psychiatrist office. One visit to a psychiatrist office can do wonders.
The problem with many many paray likahy desi people is that they still think that psychiatrist are quaks and psychiatry is not real science.
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