One month ago I visited pakistan where I got married. Intention was to go there, enjoy and look for girls. Anyway when i was there I basically said yes to this girl my parents liked. In hindsight, i was rushed n i thought fuk it, ud never meet anyone perfect and went along with it. However, i take responsibility for it n it was my decision so das nt the issue. I didn't live with her after marriage and came back two days of getting married. However, now back in the uk, I am just constantly thinking i made a mistake and i could have done better. Not being bigheaded but I have done well for myself, got houses of my own, nyc car, graduated from a good uni, gt a gud job and im reasonably good looking. when our family went to this place after wedding, I felt so awkward when walking with her. I felt oh man what m i doing with this girl bcz they dont even walk proper in pakistan.....Also, dont like her mannerisms, she thinks she is all that and says childish things like she is clever when she is not really,,,and even if she was, why would u blow ur own trumpet,,,may be this is her way of tryin to impress.. Also, she can be very rude sometimes for example saying things like I got nice dark hair but yours arn't, r dey? i was like ryttttttt n ur point is? i got reasonable good hair but i spike them up and she is always saying how it looks stupid etc. she wasn't even joking n she always says things like that. I can diss her so much but i feel it would be rude but she doesn't see such comments as rudeness. I dont even feel like speaking to her on the phone cz the conversation just annoys me more. I know i made the decision of getting married and it is not her fault. I m jus concerned, worried, panicking n all the rest of it lol. Do people change when they come to uk? their mannerisms?
Some girls (and men) from 'back home' do change and become more western in their mannerisms but from experience this is the minority and this is especially the case if ur planning living at home with ur parents cos a lot of the stuff that is 'niggling' u (the straightforwardness, acting more 'desi') are plus points that ur parents might well like/prefer whereas if ur living in ur own place and she goes out to uni or work she will adjust and change naturally. If u encourage her to learn to drive and become independent this will make a massive difference imo.
From other lads I have seen who have gone 'back home' and been pushed into a marriage with a girl they didn't really want what usually ends up happening is when they get bk the small things that irritated them back there are magnified 100x once they come bk to the UK, they get irritated by little things she does, the slight language issues, personality and culture clash and end up dumping her at home most of the time cos they're 'embarrassed' (yes, really) to go out with her (the 'she makes me cringe' u mentioned seems to crop up a lot). Basically they get fed up and end up spending most of their time out with their mates instead and poor girl ends up spending most of her time stuck at home staring at the four walls (often left with hubby's parents). Also, it's not unusual for these lads to get themselves a 'bit on the side' (they'll say the new girl 'understands me better' or 'I'm not really attracted to my wife, just did it to make my parents happy') Really, altho it's obviously easier said than done u should have stood up to ur parents and said a firm 'no, this is not happening.' I understand tho that desi parents are notorious for the pressure and blackmail tactics. Ur right about there being a need for a decent platform for young Muslims to meet up, I suppose tho that it's going to take a whole generation for ppls outlooks to change, the amount of misery that could have been saved if parents simply took their kids personality, compatibility etc. into account when looking for a partner for them :(