i would like to know your view about married one normal and with deaf partner. one of my cousin, she is deaf, graduated and she can speak good but use fully sign language with voice. her father is looking for a deaf boys and they all seem unsuitable for her so her father is looking for a hearing boy , one of them who said like to married a deaf girl, he is happy to learn sign language. she asked me that she is worried if she married a hearing man, will they be happy after married because her future husband know basic sign and it takes time for her to teaching him proplery.
what do you think, is it a good idea or bad idea for hearing married deaf? even though hearing boy is not graduated but happy to learn sign language for her. any advise for her? and him so i can help them to stop worry about communcation problem
heyy....i think it is a very good idea.....i dont think.....things like being deaf or blind should come in the way of marriage.....i think your cuzin shud go for it.....and if the boy is learning sign language for her....i think that is very sweet....n in the future if they do have any problem to communicate....well theres always pen and paper.....if the boy cant get something aross to your cuzin....he can jus write it down....i think your cuzin should go for it,.....
^ these types of things do come in way of two people getting married! However this is why you have to find someone who is compatible with you. I think its a great idea if this guy wants to learn sign language for her. Truly he sees somthing in her to marry her. As long as he is willing to put in 200% in learning from her there should Inshallah be no problems. They will be just as happy as anyother couple in this world. By the way every couple does go thourgh times in their lives where they have communcation problem's with one another, its happens, and just because she is deaf that does not mean they can't get through it. Inshallah i hope everything works out for her. :)
a very sweet guy. But just insure hes is sincere. I mean could there be any other quality or incentive in your deaf cousin that he maybe going for?
Maybe she or her family have something he currently hasnt and needs.
Maybe money, property, status, green card etc.
People r chalaak trust me. This is the world.
Apart form that May Allah have mercy and bless your cousin and give her all that she desires and keep her happy for ever.
i would like to know your view about married one normal and with deaf partner. one of my cousin, she is deaf, graduated and she can speak good but use fully sign language with voice. her father is looking for a deaf boys and they all seem unsuitable for her so her father is looking for a hearing boy , one of them who said like to married a deaf girl, he is happy to learn sign language. she asked me that she is worried if she married a hearing man, will they be happy after married because her future husband know basic sign and it takes time for her to teaching him proplery.
what do you think, is it a good idea or bad idea for hearing married deaf? even though hearing boy is not graduated but happy to learn sign language for her. any advise for her? and him so i can help them to stop worry about communcation problem
A marriage does not necessarily entail equal abilities in both partners. For example, think about couples....where both husband and wife are not handicapped in any way. And then many years down the road, the husband gets into an accident and his legs become permanently paralyzed. Let's say that he is now confined to a wheelchair......the wife now has to LEARN how to adapt to his handicap.
Marriage, itself is a learning process because it's a new phase in your life, a new role. YES.....I think that your friend should seriously consider marrying this man who can hear. Many hearing men would feel hesitant about marrying a girl who is deaf. But, here you have a guy who is open-minded and that is VERY ADMIRABLE. And if he** ALSO** has good personality/character.......then she should marry him ! :)
Marriage with anyone (hearing or deaf) will be a learning process and a gamble. She can teach him sign language......and he can teach her different things as well. This learning process can be enjoyable and bring them closer together as a couple.
Oh and I just remembered an example. I have a friend who is married to a guy that wears a hearing aid. And MashaAllah they have a good marriage:)
And here is a suggestion:
If your friend is scared that maybe this guy won't be able to get used to her handicap. Then they should try to spend time and get to know each other** BEFORE MARRIAGE**. She can start to teach him sign language before marriage......and that way he'll **get an idea **of what it is like to be with someone who has a hearing handicap. And if he's comfortable with spending time with her and learning the language...........then say yes to the marriage if he's okay with it as well.
any2002 - I think people who have certain disabilities have adapted themselves very well in life - to learn to live without feeling handicapped!
When I use to take my kids for swimming - I use to see this dad with two daughters (about 6 -7 years old). Both twins, but one was DEAF AND MUTE. Seriously, if anyone in the world can learn from examples this family was it!!! They were VERY confident people. They DID NOT HAVE THAT “Ashwarya Rai’s” Nervous “giggles” - to shy away or feel under confident. They used sign language.. and oh so beautifully done. All 3 would talk on without making anyone feel that one is not capable of the speaking or hearing. I totally adore the family’s take on this issue. The girls were being raised to become strong and confident. The deaf and mute girl was made to believe she can do anything in this world. Simply lovely! Believe me when that girl grows up, she WILL choose her OWN partner without being hesitant that she should even consider a “normal” guy. Actually, the guy would consider himself lucky for having such confident person in his life.
^That was serious story
This is my own story - not that my story is not serious:halo:
my hubby’s wish - to be deaf sometimes! so he does not have to hear me yap!
I personally know a woman who is hearing impaired and is married with one child. She seems to be doing fine as far as I can see.
I do know that life can be difficult for couples when one is hearing impaired or deaf. However, this isnt something that cant be overcome with love, hard work and compassion. I dont see it as a deal breaker at all. :)
my cousin is going to pakistan this summer to see the boy and have a bit chat, that is what her father told me.
i don;t know what chalaak mean. please could you explain this. her family's status is high class, money and property are higher than the boys' family they are middle class family.
her father told me he regularly keep in touch to ensure he learns the sign by the internet that she sent. then he keeps remind about her daughter's hearing impairment and is it acceptable. the boy always said yes i am learning sign language, and i am interesting to learn for her.
let's wait and see what happen when they go to her dad's house and have a bit chat to see if he actually learn sign or not. her mom, and sister know sign so that is why they can communcatin with her.
interesting, if your partner is snore or talk in bed then deaf could not hear anything but can feel whent he moves, deaf people are sensentive feeling.
your idea of paper n pen are good, if he don;t know that sign language which is not available on website, he can write it down then she can teach her one or 2 words daily to building up conversation in sign language rather than paper and pen all the life. imagine this!? hard work
i found out the research that children would be hearing if we become deaf later which mean she born as hearing. i don;t know if it is true or myth?
one of my deaf friend got married to a deaf husband and they have 3 hearing children!? they both born as deaf!? i am confuse with the research. also they claim if both are cousins they have deaf children, i can said it is wrong because a lot of my cousins married cousin and they all have hearing children?!
if my cousin got deaf child, they have to take them to speech therpist to improve their speech and practice with the father, which mean the child can communcation in sign and speech!
a very sweet guy. But just insure hes is sincere. I mean could there be any other quality or incentive in your deaf cousin that he maybe going for?
Maybe she or her family have something he currently hasnt and needs.
Maybe money, property, status, green card etc.
People r chalaak trust me. This is the world.
Apart form that May Allah have mercy and bless your cousin and give her all that she desires and keep her happy for ever.
the girl's family is well stablished compare to guy....
ok so this girl doesnt live in pakistan but guy does.
(is your cousin going to move to pakistan after getting married to this guy ?? THINK THINK)
No? so the guy is coming over to your cousin's country? Yes? THINK THINK
The girl's family is wealthy. The girl can be a way to achieve a green card. The world is not very kind. I have trouble believing in the goodness that this guy is showing....
At the same time, the girl's family probably realizes this very well and is viewing this as a give and take type of thing.
So one risk here is the possiblity that he may leave her after getting residency...they should be careful.
Amazing parents right there. Darn.
Some folks handle life-challenges with so much grace, it makes you feel really pathetic complaining about minor issues.
