Marriages talks have ended *help me get over heartbreak*

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: Marriages talks have ended help me get over heartbreak

Yet again, another queer comment from you. The guy never pursued a girl longer than a week. This was the first time it went up to a month and he was speaking with his mother about furthering the communications/closing the deal. You see Queer, many guys have pursued me but I did not really like any. This was the first of mutual interest, and it really ended due to a combination of my mistake as well as one element of my personality which is actually not bad (it's good to be highly empathetic/drive for emotional connection with all).

So I really don't understand what you are trying to prove. You have no idea the kind of relationship I had with this guy. He even says up til now, that he has nothing but respect, admiration, and liking for me. It's just that we are obviously not compatible/meant to be due to this differences of emotional intelligence.

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Re: Marriages talks have ended help me get over heartbreak

well i clearly don't see any empathetic drive from you, all i see is mememememmemeeme. you come across as very self-centered, a pampered princess. emotional intelligence, shmemotional intelligence.

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Re: Marriages talks have ended help me get over heartbreak

Queer, you see it's hard to judge me on the kind of person I am because of the way that I've been going through with my relationship issues. My parents have these requirements for the type of person they want for me. And that just happens to be very picky. I really have no say in that, so maybe this princess mememe vibe is coming from the fact that THEY have put this on me.

It's because I am over-educated (maybe for my own good) and intelligent so my parents desire the same for me. It's actually logical for that to happen.

It may seem like I'm self-centred because this is the only side you are seeing of mine. I don't need to engage in much self-praise but I have done a lot for my community alhumdulillah, that would show you that I am kind-spirited and nice/empathetic/ to all around me. Please don't judge.

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Re: Marriages talks have ended help me get over heartbreak

Over-educated? :/

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Re: Marriages talks have ended help me get over heartbreak

first you blamed the guy for lacking "emotional intelligence" to handle your tantrum.

now you displace blame on to your parents.

then you blame your education.

does your emotional intel see the pattern yet, pal?

and please don't judge? ok.. please don't judge that guy who said no too, y u do it pal?

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Re: Marriages talks have ended help me get over heartbreak

I am actually not blaming my parents for anything. All I'm saying is that they have these particular standards for me that make me like this when it comes to relationships and prospective-mate searches. So if you want to categorize me negatively based on this personality characteristic of mine, then you SHOULD blame them.

As for me inferring things about this guy, I'm actually doing it by tying in who he was as a person (since I am in the position to make such inferences). You however know nothing about me.

Find something better to hate on. You are wasting your time and energy.

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Re: Marriages talks have ended help me get over heartbreak

Haha I used that term because of the fact that my qualifications make it hard for me to find somebody with similar educational background as myself. :(

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Re: Marriages talks have ended help me get over heartbreak

well i am basing my judgement solely on what you put up for display on the forums. and that person is a self-centered princess who has no clue. perhaps you should look into how an awesome kind real life person like you can be such an immature brat on the forums?

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Re: Marriages talks have ended help me get over heartbreak

Once again, you are using one facet of my discussions to over-generalize. I don't need to explain myself further, but this princess you see is made that way because of parental demands. I don't think of myself as better than anybody due to my educational background/appearance/intellect/personality or ANYTHING else for that matter. But when it comes to a mate, I have to please my parents, so you may think that the way I handle situations and who I choose to pursue is a bit too selective and points to me being self-centered and full of myself. But that's not true. So please relax. 0_o

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Re: Marriages talks have ended help me get over heartbreak

maybe the guy dumped you because of his parental requirements for a grown up bride. don't judge, sisterfriend.

lets work on the future. how do we make sure the next pappu doesn't escape? how good are your parathas?

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Re: Marriages talks have ended help me get over heartbreak

This isn't good.

At first I thought you were trying to get over him and realized your mistakes. The minimum you should do is learn from any given situation.

But it seems like you're only willing to do that if you can lay some blame on him too. "Its not only me, he messed up toooo". That is not mature.

You were moving on with grace but this last part...you just went back five steps instead of forward.

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Re: Marriages talks have ended help me get over heartbreak

Aha Reha, I don't know. It's because of all these conflicting ideas in my mind. The fact that it was easy for him to let go makes me think that his lack of empathy made him like that so it wasn't my fault but rather the person he was.

But I said that at the spur of the moment. I was at fault for dealing with the situation in the way that I did. It's not going to happen again, that's for sure. Lesson learned. haha

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Re: Marriages talks have ended help me get over heartbreak

Without knowing the guy, my guess is that it's not his lack of empathy that allowed him to let go so easily, but rather he was being rational about the situation. No need to pursue if you think it's not going to work. In fact, I'd say it's commendable of him. It gives me the impression that he wasn't just using you to pass time, but he's serious about getting married. He's not leading you on anymore like he could have been. So he's not giving you false hope and stopping you from moving on. Now it's just up to you to accept that it wasn't going to work out anyway, so isn't worth giving anymore thought to.

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Re: Marriages talks have ended help me get over heartbreak

One month.

Is not enough time for us to do things or say things and be forgiven automatically for them. Meaning, you only knew him for a month. You hadn't been in a relationship with him for years or even monthS. He isn't attached to you or has any obligation towards you. There is not much of an emotional relationship as of yet.

If you give him a reason to leave and that too so soon...why wouldn't he leave? In his mind, he is ending things because he doesn't believe you can handle conflict wisely. He is doing what's good for him.

If you want to get over someone, try to see what you could have done to help the situation, learn and leave it alone. The minute you start blaming others...you regress and eventually start to become bitter.

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Re: Marriages talks have ended help me get over heartbreak

Do you think I am hurting the situation by sending out that email? And yeah you're right. I am out of control with this issue. Very pathetic of me. sigh

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Re: Marriages talks have ended help me get over heartbreak

His decision might have not been a spur of the moment thing. It's possible that he was having doubts before this and this was the final nail in the coffin. It might have been sudden for you but a well thought decision for him.

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Re: Marriages talks have ended help me get over heartbreak

Haha no way buddy. His mom called saying that the day before we broke up so to speak he was making plans to see me and how he wanted his mom to talk to me because he really liked me. It was a very spur of the moment thing, based on the information I presented on that day that made it evident we were incompatible.

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Re: Marriages talks have ended help me get over heartbreak

Well then be grateful that it ended before the two of you got married. Having 2.5 kids and then Finding out you're incompatible would have been a disaster. Isn't this the very reason for not jumping into an arranged setup blindly.

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Re: Marriages talks have ended help me get over heartbreak

So who dumped who?

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Re: Marriages talks have ended help me get over heartbreak

true story