There IS a certain logic to all of this. If you are a wife without education beyond high school and without work experience in a professional setting, how can you possibly relate to a husband who has a career? You have NO idea what his day is like, even if he tells you about it. If you havent experienced it, you dont know what it is.
Aside from that, if anything should ever happen to the marriage, a non-educated female stay-at-home Mom is a real liability whereas a woman who can take care of herself and her children are not.
Mamaof3 u r perfectly correct here. But the point i am trying to make is whena girl has no doctrate degree but does have bachelors, then y she don't get doctors proposals as often as one lady doctor gets.
None of these things are definite predictors of how Baho/biwi/marriage will turn out to be.
I have a patient, a 50 years old gorgeous lady. About 2 years ago she married her son to an Indian girl. I was surprized, coz Pakis rarely marry indians. It turned out that she was impressed by the piety and because this indian girl recited Quran beutifully. Now this lady has stroke and she needs assisstance at home for mobilizing, dressing etc.For last two months she is lying in hospital coz her Baho is not willing to take care of her at home.
evil- in the world of desi aunties, mama's boys and a meddling family, a hoity toity degree might work for OR against a girl as far as proposals go. even after getting married.....one of my friends went to princeton, graduated WITH honors, got an offer at McKenzie's...rejected it to go to pak....where she got married after a long and hard search for her "perfect imran-khan-like guy"...she married into an apparently highly educated family.....(even the guy's mother in law had graduated from oxford)....and had to move to saudi arabia where she had to wear the hijab n all.....but got fed up and wanted to pursue a career....this resulted in an end to her marriage....she now teaches at harvard...is seperated but still happy.
^^ and i DO wanna point out the fact that she is extremely pretty, good fashion sense, a GREAT cook, a GREAT painter/artist, a good conversationalist......all in all i would think she is pretty hot stuff....
but see as iconoclast said....u cant say at all that this will save your marriage...or ensure a good relationship with in-laws...
thats the problem...people set high expectations based on degrees and looks. and then wonder what the hell went wrong. an educated woman doesnt = a good woman....
not to say that education is not absolutely necessary for every woman, but i just think that in-laws need to stop judging women and breaking hearts. its highly embarrassing to be proposed in the traditional way (prospective guy coming to see gurl and gurl serving them chai) and then getting rejected.
i agree with ya shweety…i hated it sooooooooo much when i had to go through this twice (i rejected 1 of the guys though:D …parents rejected the other 1) and i told my mom **I M NEVER EVER GOING INFRONT OF PEOPLE LIKE THIS AGAIN. **And 3rd time, when ppl were coming over, i simply went shopping for the entire day and mom called them to cancel:D .
good u didnt mind it but i said wath i said specifically for AE coz she is the one facing problem - though i think is not not really concerned.
To me marrige is the ultimate test … don’t enter into it if u are self praising person .. kuch lo kuch do is the basic code of conduct for a married couple.
a long time ago when my parents tried for the first (and last) time to fix me with a cousin…his mum and dad had come over to stay at our house to check me out. once while the whole khandaan (uncles aunties) were over for a dinner the dad asked me to make tea for him…i made him tea and he sipped and told me it was horrible…(like really loud and everyone could hear…) my mom told me to make it again and i said “jee achaa jee” and i added two teaspoons of salt to the tea, served it and disappeared into my room and locked the door…hehehehe…he spit it out and was PISSED,i never apologized and my mom made an excuse saying there musta been salt in the sugar bowl…hehe…even she was laughing in the morning( i never admitted to doing it purposedly but she knew i did)
That thing bugs me too when parents ask or expect from their daughter to be proper when the proposal comes…luckily my parents are not like instead they pray the proposal is proper infront of me so i wont make them run away
IQ: masha’allah i like the way u think and def. it should work both ways but here basically i am talking about the IN-LAWs requirements in todays world
i thought of doing that once when ppl were over at my place for my rishta…but my mom caught me right there and then she made tea herself and told me NOT to go near it. hehe
