salams,
I m trying to marry this non muslim girl. She has no interest in any religion. Now
ppl are telling me that i will be held responsible for her actions for she is not
becoming a muslim and all that is my fault.
Now the question is How big of a sin is it if she doesnt become muslim and i marry her?
(not marrying her is not an Option!!!)
wht do u mean by “UR TRYIN TO MARRY HER?”
Whatever limits us we call fate!
Whatever we can’t change we call destiny!
The Day She Left…
FriDaY_JaN_26Th_10:30:00_A.M…
[quote]
Originally posted by Kallu Mal Badmash:
**salams,
I m trying to marry this non muslim girl. She has no interest in any religion. Now
ppl are telling me that i will be held responsible for her actions for she is not
becoming a muslim and all that is my fault.
Now the question is How big of a sin is it if she doesnt become muslim and i marry her?
(not marrying her is not an Option!!!!!!)**
[/quote]
Is she from among the People of Book (Christian or Jewish) or Not from among the People of Book (Hindu, Buddist etc.)?
trying means: in the process....
As i said she doesnt beleive in any religion.
yeah she was born as a jew if it matters
The following Islamic ruling **Marriage to the Women of the People of the Book **should help:
http://islam-online.net/fatwa/english/FatwaDisplay.asp?hFatwaID=2315
Islam has made marriage to Jewish or Christian women lawful for Muslim men, for they are Ahl al-Kitab, that is, People of the Book, or people whose tradition is based upon a divinely revealed Scripture. Although they have distorted and altered it, they do possess a religion of divine origin, and hence Islam has made some exceptions in dealing with them. The Qur’an says: “…And the food of those who were given the Scripture (before you) is permitted to you and your food is permitted to them. And (lawful to you in marriage are) chaste women from the Believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture before you, when you give them their due cowers, desiring chastity, not lewdness or secret intrigues…”(5:6)
Tolerance of such a degree is a characteristic of Islam which is hardly to be found among other faiths and nations. Despite the fact that Islam takes the People of the Book to task for their unbelief and error, it permits the Muslim to marry a Christian or Jewish woman who may, as his consort, the mistress of his house, the mother of his children, the source of his repose, and his companion for life, retain her own faith—all this, while the Qur’an says concerning marriage and its mystique, And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell with them in tranquility, and He has put love and mercy between you…(30:21)
However, a warning is in order here. In order of preference, a believing, practicing Muslim woman who loves her religion is preferable to a nominal Muslim woman who has inherited Islam from her parents. The Prophet (peace be on him) said, “Get the one who is religious and prosper.” (Reported by al-Bukhari.)
It is also obvious that a Muslim woman, regardless of who she is, is better suited to a Muslim man than a woman of Christian or Jewish faith, regardless of her merits. If a Muslim man has the slightest suspicion that a non-Muslim wife might affect the beliefs and attitudes of his children, it becomes obligatory on him to exercise caution.
Note: If she was born Jewish and is no longer Jewish any more then there is a different ruling and the above ruling does not apply. My advise to you is find a Muslim Girl and marry her, surely that is best for you.
[This message has been edited by Musalman (edited January 30, 2001).]
Hmm.. interesting.
but just the last comment:
this is not a realestate deal! that is house
is not good for me i should go find another.
have look at www.zawaj.com
Well I guess speaking realistically ..if she agrees to at least follow the same morals and raise your kids as muslims that's better then nothing.
u said she doesnt believe in any religion...do u mean to say she's an atheist?
and please, if u want people to comment on such serious situations, it would be useful if u'd explain things a bit more....do you feel that u want to marry a Muslim girl or is it just ur family that wants u to?
You have to remember that even if a Muslim man marries a Jewish/Christian woman, she has to respect the Islamic faith and the children have to be brought up as Muslims.
^^Believe to Understand^*^*
well the thing is i dont care wot my children choose to be. I just know that
i think i m a good muslim and i will teach my children to be good muslims.
but they have the right to choose as to what they want to be.
finding a muslim and non muslim girl is not an option here its something i m going through right now. I know its kinda hard to explain all that is there in ma mind but just a summary of the events.
She is a born jew. she believes in 1 god but no religion. she respects my beliefs. I respect all religions but me myself is a muslim and i follow islam as much as i can with prayers and all.
the question of being with muslim girl and all... well been there done that but it was hell. not caz they wer muslim Only becaz they wer pakistani.
pakistani ppl mix their culture of indo-pak with islam and also they hav adapted hindu customs into islam.
my questions in the beginning was. Is it a Sin to marry someone non muslim and i need to know the reason why. If my wife doesnt wana turn muslim is that also sin ?
thanks you,
Kally Mal Badmaaash ( in a non-badmaash state)
[quote]
Originally posted by Kallu Mal Badmash:
**salams,
I m trying to marry this non muslim girl. She has no interest in any religion. Now
ppl are telling me that i will be held responsible for her actions for she is not
becoming a muslim and all that is my fault.
Now the question is How big of a sin is it if she doesnt become muslim and i marry her?
(not marrying her is not an Option!!!!!!)**
[/quote]
Oh PLEEEESSSSEEEEEE,not another marriage .Of all those posts ,i think the opinions are all over the islamic web site.You want translation.If you are old enough to choose your bride /or groom you should be able to fo;;ow simple instructions fortunatelly painstkingly prepared by voluntary brothers/sisters ofISLAMIC SITES-
First are r we SURE that you r muslim,& not haggling us in which we are pawn
Second-marriages have MANY problems of agreement by all parties,brides parents & groom parents & society community if you care.Believe me even between MUSLIMS the choice isnt easy.
You have the freedom of choice ,If you want to follow the sunnah,koran,hadith,follow ,what we think is immaterial as this is not voting booth
: :)
When was i for real?
I am myself a dream :)
I always see you
watching me tenderly :)
[quote]
Originally posted by Kallu Mal Badmash:
**well the thing is i dont care wot my children choose to be. I just know that
i think i m a good muslim and i will teach my children to be good muslims.
but they have the right to choose as to what they want to be.<<<
**
[/quote]
I think the non-muslim marriage is prohabited because the partner does not beleive in Islam and you cant have "Nikkah" with her. So if you get married without "Nikkah" it is adultry and adultry is sin. This is my logic but it is not fatwa.
You can not force her to be a muslim or follow Islam if she does not want just for sake of marriage. you can not follow her relgion just to be with her.....or can you??
Secondly How would you give your childern a choice to be a muslim or not............I mean I until thet grown up and able to understand religion.....what will be their religion??? what will be their names .....muslim or jewish??
If you have family then it will be even more difficult for your family and her family to adjust with inter-religion marriage.
I know it looks very not relative when ypou are in love but I am sure when you come out of this dilema of marriage you will think differntly from what thinking now.
"Away from Eyes......Close to Heart"
I find your attitude commendable.
http://www.understanding-islam.com/rs/s-103.htm
As far as the bringing-up of children of such parents is concerned, this question needs consideration from two separate standpoints. In a general sense, there would obviously be no difference of opinion, and therefore no conflict among the parents regarding good moral and ethical training of these children and the development and inculcation of the universally accepted virtues and values. No religion, as we know, teaches any immorality or promotes any unethical behavior.
In a purely religious sense, however, a question may be asked regarding what shall be the religious affiliation of these children. This question is basically the result of a general misconception about religious affiliation of an individual, according to which every child born in a Christian family is held to be a Christian and the one born in a Muslim or a Jewish family is considered a Muslim or a Jew respectively. Nevertheless, the actual religious affiliation of the individual is the one to which he, after due consideration, consciously likes to ascribe to.
In the mentioned case, therefore, the children being independent individuals, should be given the freedom of choice, which is the basic right of all individuals. No one – not even the parents – has a right to enforce his/her choice of religion on the child. Thus, in my opinion, when the father and the mother of a child ascribe to different religions, both of them have a right to introduce and teach the child about the beliefs and practices of his/her religion. However, it is ultimately the choice of the child, at the time of his mental maturity that shall decide about the set of beliefs that he ascribes to.
According to a clear directive of the Qur’an (Al-Maaidah 5: 5), a [chaste] Muslim man can marry a chaste Muslim woman or a chaste woman from amongst the people of the Book (Jew or Christian). Thus, it is not essential for the woman to convert to Islam only for the purpose of making the marriage acceptable in the eyes of Islam.
For instance, the Qur’an has clearly stated that:
1. Women from the people of the book, that is Jewish and Christian women are lawful (in marriage) for Muslim men (Al-Ma’idah 5: 5) ; and
2. Polytheist (Mushriq) men and women are unlawful (in marriage) for Muslim men and women (Al-Baqarah 2: 221).
As I understand it, there is no sin involved. A Muslim man has been expressly allowed by the Qur’an to take a Christian or Jew wife in marriage (Al-Maaidah). This obviously implies that you can marry such a woman without her having to convert to Islam.
They shoot partypoopers, don’t they?
[This message has been edited by Mr Partypooper (edited January 30, 2001).]
Kallu Badmash,
First of all this issue is one where as sanam said you will find enough material on islamic sites...so if you are a muslim and serious about this you should go do a search on these places.For a matter as serious as this,you should probably consult scholars in your area about this issue too.
Now there is one issue here which is All important,and that is whether this girl you want to marry is a jew or not?If she is a jew than you can go ahead and marry her without any sin.But if she is not than there is absolutely no way that you may marry her.
Remember badmash,just being born into a jewish family is not enough.The question is does this girl believe in judaism?
That is something only you can best ascertain.But I must warn you to be very honest when ascertaining this issue.Because remember it would be a very Big and grave sin indeed,if you were to marry someone who was niether jewish nor christian.
From your post it seems that the lady might be just that,but this is something that only you are in a position to determine.
I hope this answers your question about where sin is involved.You are sinful if you marry someone who is not jewish or christian by faith.
Ahmed
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/smile.gif
I am not convinced (yet) about this part of the issue. For instance, the Qur’an has clearly stated that:
1. Women from the people of the book, that is Jewish and Christian women are lawful (in marriage) for Muslim men (Al-Ma’idah 5: 5) ; and
2. Polytheist (Mushriq) men and women are unlawful (in marriage) for Muslim men and women (Al-Baqarah 2: 221).
You are correct in saying that People of the Book are allowed for marriage to Muslims. However, the Qur’an does not necessarily restrict marriage to Muslims and these Ahl-e-Kitaab. Rather than finding out who is allowed for marriage, which may or may not be an exhaustive list, it will be more useful to find out who is not allowed for marriage for Muslims. The Qur’an says that it is only polytheists who are forbidden for marriage for Muslims. As far as I can tell from Kallu Mal Badmash, the lady he wishes to marry is not a polytheist. Therefore, she would not be prohibited for marriage to him.
Of course, this will be an issue in which there may exist a difference of opinion.
This is my 500th post by the way…
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/smile.gif
They shoot partypoopers, don’t they?
Adil,
Your view is a truly perplexing one.I thought that muslim scholars had unanimouslyagreed that marriage for muslims was only lawful if it's either to fellow muslims or to the people of book.
Keeping this in view I am not sure where you get your ideas from.
But the reason your view is perplexing is because if the Quran clearly considers it important to specify who is(rather than who is not)lawful for marriage,i.e.muslims and people of book. Than probably that gives us an idea.Doesn't it?Those ayahs are there for a reason perhaps?
If it was just the polythiests who were disallowed from marrying muslims than would it not be sufficient just to say that?That would mean that the other ayahs were there for no reason.
Ahmed
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/smile.gif
That is an extremely good point I must say. I must confess I had never thought of that before.
This is Al-Ma’idah 5:5:
"This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book, revealed before your time,- when ye give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness, nor secret intrigues if any one rejects faith, fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good)."
With regard to the point that was made about the necessity of this verse, I do not think the explanation I gave made it redundant. This is because only a group among the people of the book are lawful for marriage - i.e. the chaste women among them. I think that this distinction had to be clearly made. Or it could be that if a Muslim wished to marry a non-Muslim, Islam had preferred for a marriage to either a Christian or a Jew since they have more common religous beliefs. But this would need to be checked.
However, would you ask “The Learner” about this as I have to send him some other questions? This information was taken from http://www.understanding-islam.com so it would be a good idea to refer to there.
Please do not accept this as the final word on the subject. As Ahmed has rightfully pointed out, there are a number of outstanding problems which yet have to rectified regarding the interpretation and the correct context of this verse. I will do some more research on this. I am unclear on a number of things.
They shoot partypoopers, don’t they?
[This message has been edited by Mr Partypooper (edited January 31, 2001).]
well i think sanam and ahmed are right. If ur old enough to consider marriage and ready to face all the responsibilities that come with it, u’ll not just rely on our opinions. Everyone here will try to help u in their own way but it is important for u to consult a legitimate scholar who can give u more concrete answer.
Here’s one site that may help: http://www.islam-online.net/english/index.shtml
This site features some of the best and well-known Islamic scholars in the world, u can submit ur question there. However, i’d still say that u have a one-on-one conversation with someone that has religious authority.
^^Believe to Understand^^**
[This message has been edited by hk (edited January 31, 2001).]
[QUOTE]
Originally posted by Kallu Mal Badmash:
**well the thing is i dont care wot my children choose to be.
Well, here's a good muslim for you. Self proclaimed good muslim who doesn't care if his next generation follows the divine Islamic ways.
Lust supercedes all.
a1shah might sound harsh but its true...parents have a responsibility, as good Muslims, to raise their children as good Muslims as well....thats what Islam teaches.
^^Believe to Understand^*^*