Marriage...the right way?!

[Lusi]

Re: Marriage...the right way?!

do you think some of the parda khawateen would mind the presence of your brother, uncles in the female section. I mean if they can mind some uncle coming in to hand the baby to his wife then they might mind the presence of your male relatives in the female side aswell. Just curious...

[Lusi]

Re: Marriage...the right way?!

I am not very religious like I don't wear hijab but I not at all fond of holding hands, actually in all the weddings in our family, I have never seen a girl grabbing groom's hand or pulling his shoe off. It is always one of the guys who takes the shoe off...

Anyway, Ms. Pinks many congratulations. All the best with your wedding and married life. :)

[Code_Red]

Re: Marriage…the right way?!

@pinks

uffff, Code Red, I feel like i’m being asked to represent most “religous” girls, i dont wanna take this responsibiliy and if iv’e given such an impression, plz believe me when i say it was unintentional. In my posts, i an just referring to my sisters, cousins, friends, etc, basically ppl i know.

sorry i you feel burdened by bombardment of questions … but since you have shared a chalked out detailed plan of your wedding reception, which is very interesting nonetheless.. so people are generlly interested in knowing how would you go about in materializing your intended plan

you said

Inshallah I am going to do everything the islamic way come my wedding…

Mashallah, very well May God help you :k:

and NO mixing on my wedding day… inshallah everything will be 100% segregated… towards the end, i guess we’ll allow for my fianc’e (tab tuk to husband ho chuka ho ga :)), get a few pics, also, by brother, father, paternal and maternal uncles will be allowed in only. No cousins allowed whatsoever. And had my fianc’es father been alive, he would have been alowed in as well.

Now this is interesting. I know that in the families who follow these guidelines everyone knows their role and limits. The male cousins never interact with female cousins. and every house has separate section for males and female guesst. etc

Since you have explained that your family has a casual approach in this matter and no strict segregation is practised. So, The guest would need to know the code of conduct in advance.
Say you allow in some maternal, parental uncles but dont allow others (pupha, khaloo etc ) now your khala’s and pupho’s families are also there and suppose she ought to give you wedding gift (salami) and she comes to stage and asks her family to come too … so they register their presence and be part of a group photo, your pupha who is an elderly bald guy who has no interest in group fotos just goes on stage to fullfill the formality … and so does his family 2 of them are kids , other 2 boy and girl are college going fellas. How would you forsee the situation.

1. would you send a written ‘code of conduct’ to families invited in your wedding ? because if you dont, they would not know these ’ technical/religious restrictions’ you have for them in your mind.

2. or would you stand your brother/ mamoo as guard at entrance of restricted area and they will on the spot pick the ‘mehrem male relative’ and call them for group photo.

3. same question as Lusi , suppose you have 3,4 chacha tayaa and 3,4 mamoo and close family members.. if they come for group fotos turn by tunr… would that not seriously undermine the standard 100% segregation. And what the purpose of having girls as waiters ? since na mehram men are already comming and going tu why should becharey male waiters be singled out ?

[teggy]

Re: Marriage…the right way?!

Code_Red, good questions. Although i can’t stop laughin at the first one, i could sooo picture looking at a pamphlet that reads ‘Terms and Conditions of the holy metrimony’. Disclaimer: VIP Section, off limits.

On a more serious note: I think, when i get married, i don’t think i could go through all the segregation, simply because the foundation is not there, all of my family, extended family, anyone u name, are pretty open if u know what i mean.

[pinks]

Re: Marriage…the right way?!

@Code_Red

sorry i you feel burdened by bombardment of questions … but since you have shared a chalked out detailed plan of your wedding reception, which is very interesting nonetheless.. so people are generlly interested in knowing how would you go about in materializing your intended plan

you said

Mashallah, very well May God help you :k:

Now this is interesting. I know that in the families who follow these guidelines everyone knows their role and limits. The male cousins never interact with female cousins. and every house has separate section for males and female guesst. etc

Since you have explained that your family has a casual approach in this matter and no strict segregation is practised. So, The guest would need to know the code of conduct in advance.
Say you allow in some maternal, parental uncles but dont allow others (pupha, khaloo etc ) now your khala’s and pupho’s families are also there and suppose she ought to give you wedding gift (salami) and she comes to stage and asks her family to come too … so they register their presence and be part of a group photo, your pupha who is an elderly bald guy who has no interest in group fotos just goes on stage to fullfill the formality … and so does his family 2 of them are kids , other 2 boy and girl are college going fellas. How would you forsee the situation.

1. would you send a written ‘code of conduct’ to families invited in your wedding ? because if you dont, they would not know these ’ technical/religious restrictions’ you have for them in your mind.

2. or would you stand your brother/ mamoo as guard at entrance of restricted area and they will on the spot pick the ‘mehrem male relative’ and call them for group photo.

3. same question as Lusi , suppose you have 3,4 chacha tayaa and 3,4 mamoo and close family members.. if they come for group fotos turn by tunr… would that not seriously undermine the standard 100% segregation. And what the purpose of having girls as waiters ? since na mehram men are already comming and going tu why should becharey male waiters be singled out ?

The way youv’e framed ur question are funny … ok i’m gonna answer them quickly…

• we have had segregated wedding in the past in my family… everyone knows how it works, no need to give 'em a “code of conduct” lol

• i dont know if uv’e been to a segregated wedding in paki but this is how it works… there is a huge partition b/w the men and women. the entrance to both areas is seperated at the front so women & men know where they have to go.

• like i mentioned earlier, the men that are allowed in towards the conclusion of the night (after dinner when your distant jaane waale r leaving)… first the groom comes in, and all those who have to cover up do (like sisters, cousins, etc etc), those that wear a burqa do, and those that wear scarfs do so… then the rest of the males in my family are allowed in at once… i guess my dad will be incharge of that. The thing is we go to paki quite often, and ppl know what our family is like… they know how we will be doing things so no need to explain/ justify stuff to ppl… its all understood!

Wassalam

[zobia]

Re: Marriage…the right way?!

uf ho pink…tum bhi na kanjoos hoo.. they wana experience it live

so they want ur shadi’z card, so they may enjoy yummy ice cream too, u know.

[teggy]

Re: Marriage...the right way?!

^bingo

[TiLl_LuK]

Re: Marriage...the right way?!

In ours the mullah comes to the hall and does his business there, BTW we have no nach- gana alhumdulillah...

[pinks]

Re: Marriage…the right way?!

@zobia

uf ho pink…tum bhi na kanjoos hoo.. they wana experience it live

so they want ur shadi’z card, so they may enjoy yummy ice cream too, u know.

lag ta kai tumhara khaana peena ke ilawa koi kaam nahi hai! kanjoos to tum ho… always getting me to shout u out… i’m running out of money dude…

Ya Allah, answering all the questions that CR asked me… looks like iv’e developed some serious muscles around my fingers lol.

[pinks]

Re: Marriage...the right way?!

@TiLl_LuK

In ours the mullah comes to the hall and does his business there, BTW we have no nach- gana alhumdulillah...

Subhanallah that is good to hear... just make sure u dont cry in all that makeup lol

[pinks]

Re: Marriage...the right way?!

@teggy

^bingo

:rolls eyes: tumhe kon sa flavour ki ice cream passand hai? warna all u ppl are gonna be typical pakis and say kanjoos ne sirif pista flavour rakha tha... and everyone knows cholocate is "oh so burger"

[zobia]

Re: Marriage…the right way?!

@pinks

lag ta kai tumhara khaana peena ke ilawa koi kaam nahi hai! kanjoos to tum ho… always getting me to shout u out… i’m running out of money dude…

Ya Allah, answering all the questions that CR asked me… looks like iv’e developed some serious muscles around my fingers lol.

dat was exactly i was think after seeing the length of ur posts.
lagta hai Code_red tum say wo xamz questions likwa rahain hain jo k optional they

lol…or may tum ko practice kara rahi hoon…doseray ghar ja ker to tum nay handi choola he kerna hai…abhi say fermaishain note kerna seekh lo

[pinks]

Re: Marriage…the right way?!

@zobia

dat was exactly i was think after seeing the length of ur posts.
lagta hai Code_red tum say wo xamz questions likwa rahain hain jo k optional they

lol…or may tum ko practice kara rahi hoon…doseray ghar ja ker to tum nay handi choola he kerna hai…abhi say fermaishain note kerna seekh lo

damn it, i am growing muscles on my paper cut fingers aur tumhe hassi sooj rahi hai… i’m gonna dob on u lol.

susraal main jo jitni bhi farmaish kare to sahi, there r a kazillion resteraunt around where they live… MIL requests, I’ll get the car started… i know I’m deeth, lekin yaar dar iss baat ka ha ke main moti na ho ja’o… everyone, ijtima’e dua that pinks doesn’t get fat with all the bahar ka khana…

[teggy]

Re: Marriage...the right way?!

i'm sure u won't get fat! :)

[zobia]

Re: Marriage…the right way?!

@pinks

damn it, i am growing muscles on my paper cut fingers aur tumhe hassi sooj rahi hai… i’m gonna dob on u lol.

susraal main jo jitni bhi farmaish kare to sahi, there r a kazillion resteraunt around where they live… MIL requests, I’ll get the car started… i know I’m deeth, lekin yaar dar iss baat ka ha ke main moti na ho ja’o… everyone, ijtima’e dua that pinks doesn’t get fat with all the bahar ka khana…

soochoon gee

[Code_Red]

Re: Marriage…the right way?!

Thankyou pinks for clarifying the procedural details and confussion. It makes lot of sense and I hope that other girls who try to follow the religious commands, would find it very helpful :k:

@pinks

lag ta kai tumhara khaana peena ke ilawa koi kaam nahi hai! kanjoos to tum ho… always getting me to shout u out… i’m running out of money dude…

Ya Allah, answering all the questions that CR asked me… looks like iv’e developed some serious muscles around my fingers lol.

chalo acha hai ungleyoon ke mucles develop ho rahey hain, shaadi ke baad Hubby ko nachaana bhi tu hai

[pinks]

Re: Marriage…the right way?!

@Code_Red

chalo acha hai ungleyoon ke mucles develop ho rahey hain, shaadi ke baad Hubby ko nachaana bhi tu hai

hahahahahahaha… aap mujhe ghalat cheezeiN sikha rahe haiN, lol

no problems with the answers… i hope i did justice to your detailed question

Wassalam

[teggy]

Re: Marriage...the right way?!

i dono about the question...certainly did justice to the topic! thank u sooo much pinks...u've been the most detailed. really appreciate it...now...make sure u remember us (the ones that encouraged u to follow the right path) when those rules of engagement, ooops i mean invitation cards go out....:)

[pinks]

Re: Marriage...the right way?!

i dono about the question...certainly did justice to the topic! thank u sooo much pinks...u've been the most detailed. really appreciate it...now...make sure u remember us (the ones that encouraged u to follow the right path) when those rules of engagement, ooops i mean invitation cards go out....:)

sorry, per aap koun?

[teggy]

Re: Marriage…the right way?!